


Holy Water Like Cheap Whiskey

by DesertMoon



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Bars, Desire, Escape, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Love, M/M, Prejudice, Vampires, vampire!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:46:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5124617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertMoon/pseuds/DesertMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Like motherfucking Romeo and Juliet. Except you don't like heights, and I'm pretty sure Juliet never snacked on dudes' blood."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Light Me Up, Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER** : This piece of writing does not contain any factual information. These characters are entirely fictional and I make no attempt to represent any real people. I ask that readers have respect for our community; please do not share this work where it won't be welcome. Should this work offend or upset, please contact me. I will happily and immediately discuss, or simply take it down.  
> ***  
> Welcome/welcome back <3 also IT GETS BETTER AFTER THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS STICK W IT

“Your problem,” announced Mikey over his coffee cup. “Is that you don’t get out enough.”

Gerard shot him his best withering gaze and continued to tear the label from the vodka bottle clutched in his lap. He could almost hear his brother rolling his eyes.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit-“ he heaved a sigh and Gerard narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Mikey placed his cup back on the table, freeing up both hands to stick them through his blonde hair. Gerard knew exactly what he was going to say. This wasn’t the first time, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time he was going to hear it. Yet they had to go through this whole saga every time Mikey got bored of Gee’s mopey 3am visits…

“I just think it’s kinda sad.”

There it is. 

“Pathetic. You mean pathetic. You can just say it.”

“No.” Mikey sat up a little straighter; the very picture of indigence. Gerard raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s fine.” Gerard ripped the final scrap of white paper from the bottle and crumpled it. “I get it. I was enough of an embarrassment before I turned into a literal bloodsucking monster.” 

“Gee.” Mikey slumped back in his seat. Gerard knew that wasn’t fair. He knew Mikey didn’t think that- could _never_ think that, but at this point Gerard didn’t care, because everyone else _did_ think that.

“I gotta go.” Gerard looked up. His brother was now wearing the kind of expression that he’d make when standing close to their grandma’s collection of precious vases, or the ceramics exhibition at school; figuring out how best to proceed with minimal damages. Gee shook his head, dumping the vodka bottle on the table as he stood up. Was he sulking? Maybe. Did he feel Mikey deserved it? No. At that moment, he didn't really care.

“Seriously, forget about it.” 

Mikey blinked up at him as he headed for the door.

“Gee, I didn’t mean to-“

“I said forget it.” Gerard grabbed his coat from the couch. “I have to get back before dawn, remember?” he spat; a swing-and-miss at aggressive and landing straight on forlorn. Mikey looked beaten all the same. “Wouldn’t want anyone to see a Vampire leaving your apartment, would you.” he added- the final, undeserved blow- and before Mikey could form another string of words, Gerard was sweeping his way down the dark apartment block staircase and out, into the night.

***

He picked up the last tin of blood in his fridge and knocked it back without a second thought, dropping the can on the floor by his feet. He spun around and stalked to the window, tingles rushed along his empty veins as blood filled his stomach. The faintest trail of light broke over the horizon as he stood there, tongue absently trailing over his sharp canines. The sun crawling up above the distant tree-line would soon flood the city in burning light. Gerard really should close the curtains.

One experience with the sun’s rays on bare skin was enough to peel his flesh almost to the bone. Mikey was not pleased when he'd had to leave work on a number of occasions to drive Gerard to A&E.

“Fucking Vampire side of town, Gee, I could have been fucking- mugged or something.” 

Gerard gripped black cloth around his sizzling arm and growled a reminder that everyone on his side of town was at home, asleep. 

“The smart ones.” Mikey muttered. His fingers twitched on the steering wheel all the way back to his apartment./p>

Gee was just going to have to be a little more careful this time. That was his reasoning, anyway, when he found himself on the dingy sidewalk five minutes later wrapped in two black sweaters and a trench coat. One sweater was zipped up to the neck, the other cast shadow over his face. Even so he wore a pair of black sunglasses. If he did get caught out, this would only do so much to help. He was tired of sitting inside every day, so he squared his shoulders and crossed the street. Head down, walk fast.

The concrete around him was cold from the damp night as he set off. He could feel it draining what little warmth his body harboured. He was as much watching the closed doors along the street as he was watching out for the sparkle of sunbeams reflecting from the buildings above. He breathed in deeply. The mornings were always best like this; after he’d eaten. Colours were brighter, sensations sharper. For a little while it felt like he needed the oxygen he was sucking into his lungs by force of muscle memory. If he distanced himself enough he could almost imagine he was just on his way out to spend a day doing human stuff, that he would spend a day unworried by the thought of sunshine. He wished he'd gone outside more as a kid. Nowadays, this was as close as he ever felt to content.

He skirted the street, keeping to the shadows down to the right of his building. He followed the darkness until the apartment blocks were replaced by offices. He kept walking. At the far junction of the road he looked over his shoulder to make sure the early morning street was empty. Satisfied, he hopped the barrier and stumbled over the uneven ground on the other side. Hardly making use of his supposed bat-like senses. 

Dewdrops ran cold on his ankles as he found his feet and shuffled on next to a looming factory wall. They sun was really rising now, but the huge structure to his left kept him safely in shadow. Lanterns, no longer lit, strung along the path; an unneeded reminder of the route to the old parking lot. Rusted bikes and shopping carts were strewn around, as they had been when he was last out here. Brambles caught on his skin, leaving pale dry snags in the skin beneath his jeans. A lone forklift sat, abandoned, in the centre of the concrete expanse. Red and black graffiti drowned out its original yellow, layered over and over so nothing was even legible other than the odd obscenity. 

Yesterday’s clouds were nowhere to be seen as Gerard slumped down on the kerb. He lay down and his hair tangled with the long grass. He watched the stars dissolve as the sky faded to a watery blue, and thought too much.

A loud noise startled him. He hadn’t realised that he’d been drifting off to sleep until he was pulled out of it. He hissed and stumbled to his feet when he saw that the sun had crept across the concrete and was now uncomfortably close to where his feet were resting. Once he was sure that he was safely out of the way, he reeled around, searching for the source of the noise. He ran a hand through his hair, loosening an avalanche dirt and tiny leaves. There didn’t seem to be anyone around. Gerard’s eyebrows knitted as squinted down the path and made another scan of the parking lot. He was close to just heading home, worried that sleep deprivation was causing him to hallucinate, or worse...

“Hey.”

He spun again. As it turns out the voice was coming from the cab of the forklift.

“Hey.” Gee replied gingerly, every murder article Mikey had ever sent him flying across his mind at light speed. Apparently he was feeling reckless today, though, because he took a few steps towards the lift, and the figure draped across the top of it. Gee blinked, once again sweeping the hair off his face, suddenly aware that he wasn’t as well bathed as he perhaps would have liked. He reminded himself that since he didn't technically have any bodily fluids, this wasn't a huge problem. Still, he tugged his sweater down and squinted over to where the stranger was sitting.

“Don’t you need to be inside or something?” the stranger said. His tone was warm and Gerard thought that he might have been smiling. He wasn’t close enough to see, but something in this dude's voice was boiling his stomach. It was suddenly like he hadn't eaten in three months, let alone three hours. Before he could formulate a response, the guy was clambering down off the lift and approaching. He was dressed all in black, but he weaved in and out of the sunlight as only a human could. As he drew closer his features became clearer, and Gee sucked in an involuntary breath as the metallic scent of blood washed over him. He blinked again.

“I- uhm-”

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he drew closer and stopped a few feet away. Gee was right, he wore a lazy half smile and his hands were in the pockets of worn skinny jeans. His expression was easy. Hazel eyes glittering in the light as his gaze fell heavy over Gerard. Gee wanted to shrink away, but also run straight into the sunlight just to get closer to him. Good thing he couldn’t, because that would be _fucking weird Gerard, what the fuck._

“No I- You- How did you know I was a vampire?” He sighed inwardly. They guy just smiled again, wider this time, and Gerard was pretty sure his cold heart fluttered. This dude was seriously pretty; all sharp angles around his soft eyes and- Gerard could never get used to this but- he really did smell fucking good. Maybe that was clouding his perception a little. It distracted him to the point where he didn’t bother to sheathe his fangs like he usually did around humans. Whatever. This guy seemed cool. Too cool to be in Gerard's immediate presence for sure.

“It’s like ten degrees and you were sleeping in the shade…” he said, voice high but not unpleasant. It had an edge though, like he’d just woken up- which would make sense. “That, and…” The dude made a gesture to his mouth and ran his tongue over his teeth. 

“Right.” His eyes swept down this guy’s body to avoid looking into his eyes again… or at his _mouth_ , Jesus. This actually wasn't a smart move at all. Strips of pale skin glowed through slashes in his jeans and the gap beneath his t-shirt. For the first time ever Gerard was thankful to the bitch who bit him for removing his ability to blush. His eyes caught on a silver chain hanging from the dude's belt, which semi-involuntarily pushed his whole body back a step. The stranger followed Gerard’s gaze to his thigh.

“Oh god, this? Dude, don’t worry it’s stainless steel.” he grabbed the chain and waved it around a little as if that proved his point. “No silver on me, don’t worry! Same with these.” He said, pointing at his piercings which Gerard had totally not been eyeing… The smile was back on his face and he held out a hand.

“Frank.” he said. Gerard tried to return the smile as he shook Frank’s hand. There was a small silence and Frank raised one of his perfect eyebrows, ghost of that smirk at his lips again. It took Gee a moment to process that this probably _meant_ something.

“Oh, Gerard. My name’s Gerard.” 

“Awesome.” Frank laughed. “So, uh- avoiding something?” he said, making a non-committal gesture to their surroundings. Gerard thought for a moment, because…

“Sort of, I suppose. You?”

“Just parents.” He said with a roll of his eyes. “Came to visit and I can’t get them to leave again. Brought my gran with them on top of everything...” and without any further introduction, Frank sat himself on the concrete and began to tell Gerard about his parents’ insistence on checking in every other week and how it was driving him insane. About how his Grandma was, like, the overlord of the family and basically made all the decisions but his dad secretly hated it and everyone was too scared to confront his mom about it…

Gee stayed standing for a considerable time, teeth biting hard on his bottom lip, until Frank paused and blinked up at him.

“You going to sit down, or do you have to get back? Because that’s fine i’ll-”

“No, it’s cool.” He sat back down again with a shy smile. Some night dwelling monster he was. “The sun doesn’t reach any farther than the kerb until lunchtime anyway.”

They talked for at least an hour. Well, Frank talked, and Gerard hung onto every word he said, squashing down the persistent urge to sink his teeth right into Frank's neck. He was actually pretty impressed with his self restraint. Frank was sitting _right there_ and he was doing all this weird shit to Gerard’s brain. He'd experienced the odd urge to feed from an actual person before, but nothing like this. He didn’t know it was _possible_ to want anything as badly as this. He fumbled in his pockets for a distraction.

“Oh! Can I-“ Frank asked, cutting himself off mid parent-rant, and pointing to the cigarettes Gerard was producing from his sweater. Frank's eyes lit up and Gerard realised that he would never be able to refuse anything of this person ever in his life as long as he looked as happy as that.

“Sure I mean...here, but... you don’t have to hang around or whatever… Don't feel obliged-” Gee said as he handed them over, insecurity smothering his social skills yet again. Frank cocked his head and frowned. Gerard swallowed. "Just, the whole vampire thing. These day’s it’s a little-“

“Oh I see how it is.” Frank cut him off. This would be it, Frank would realise that this wasn’t where he wanted to spend his morning. He’d realise that, even in the secluded parking lot, they were playing a dangerous game just hanging out, and he could stop torturing himself with the idea that he'd maybe made a friend. 

“You think being a scary night-dude you’re exempted from sharing, huh?”

Gee looked up to find Frank’s eyebrow marginally raised, smirk at the corner of his mouth. Gerard broke into a reluctant smile and huffed a laugh as he fumbled with his cigarettes, ignoring the weird relief flooding through him.

“I guess not.” he murmured.

“Good.” replied Frank, flashing him a lopsided smile around the cigarette he’d stuck between his lips, then retrieved a box of matches from one of his impossibly tight pockets and tossed it into Gee’s lap. “Light me up, vampire.”


	2. Blood Orange

Gerard walked home with the hint of a smile on his lips. The streets became somehow more still when the tall and grubby apartment blocks sprung back up either side of him. He breathed in the sharp air, cool from the evening, and ducked back into his building. He ignored the dead silence on either side of him as he made his way upstairs. The pretty black haired boy was branded in the forefront of his mind and it stopped him, for once, dwelling on how much he hated the daytime silence on this side of town. The green-grey walls of his block became even more prison-like as soon as the sun crested the skyline. If Gerard had been around a few years ago, he could have used the subways to get around. Just below the city laced hundreds of hand-dug tunnels, centuries old. They were created by a long dormant species of half-bat, but when Vampires moved West and populated the place: sunlight-free travel. 

Back when it was safe, it would have been perfect. Nowadays, normal Vampires would need an undead-death wish to venture down there. Two vampires in his block were hospitalised within a week of him being turned, and that was enough to put Gerard off the trains for life. Gang crime was at its height. Half the services were out of use these days. It put people out of work, it put more people on the streets. Gerard always switched the channel when they started to talk about it on the news. 

He frowned as he clambered up the final flight. He paused against a crusty patch of panelling. Sometimes he would run through scenarios in his head where he ended up in the tunnels during the day and some emergency closed up all the exits. He would imagine who he'd want with him; who he'd want to protect him if there were other people down there... who he would want to protect. He closed his eyes and did a quick headcount of the usual top contenders. It used to be Mikey and Mikey's girlfriend Kristin, so that was two. Plus Ray… who still made the cut even though he was on the other side of the country now and Gerard hadn’t talked to him since the blood was pumping warm through his body. Sometimes he'd bring his parents. Usually, the final person rotated between Adam from high school, who ignored him for 4 years except one day where he helped Gerard pick up his books when no one was watching; Ella, the Vampire News Anchor for Channel 7; and whoever he'd formed a fleeting imaginary relationship with that week. He narrowed his eyes and shifted from the wall to trudge across the final landing towards 2203E and it’s peeling black door.

At least he barely tripped over his laces as he fumbled through the door, falling into the apartment with this weird half-smile still threatening to break across his face. He bit his lip into his mouth, teeth still not sheathed, and fell onto the couch, too tired to worry about why he was such a freak. His thoughts felt comfortably fuzzy on the edges for once, not bearing down on him all heavy and pointy and just _dense_. It was kind of nice. He was still sprawled out on the couch a couple of hours later, hand half down his pants and not really aware of the particular set of features dancing through his mind as he rode this weird buzz off into sleep.

***

“Fuck.” said Gerard, eyes fixed on the back of Mikey’s head as the news blared out around them.

“Fucking fuck.” Mikey repeated, watching the living room TV from the kitchen table. Kristin was standing in the doorway cradling a mug of coffee. 

“Third one this month.” she said softly. Mikey nodded, watching blue and red flashing lights and yellow police tape flickering behind the local news anchor.

“You wanna stay here for the day, Gee?” she ventured after a while.

“No.” he said firmly. “No, thanks guys that’s- that’s really cool of you but I’m good.” Neither of them looked convinced. Gerard sighed. “Look, no one’s gonna pull anything tonight. There are police everywhere. I should be at home.”

Kristen pursed her lips but let it drop. Mikey was more reluctant, catching his brother’s eye in a silent question. Gerard just shook his head and got up.

“I gotta go. You guys should get some sleep.”

“Gerard i'm really not comfortable with you being out tonight."

“I’m not five, Mikes.” Gerard pretended not to hear Kristen’s sigh, or see her retreat to the bedroom in his peripheral. Mikey held his gaze.

“You’re acting a little like it. We’re looking out for you. It’s not always some big personal attack, Gerard. I just want to make sure you’re alright. You'd do the same for us."

“Okay.” Gee said. Mikey gave him an eyebrow, they both knew this could go one of two ways. Gerard let it hang there for a moment, bubbly anxiety rippling in his abdomen as he turned over all the bullshit in his head, and all the injustice and isolation in this fucking place and something small snapped. "You know," he said, pulling his jacket on and tugging the collar up. "There’s only so much anyone can take of feeling like the kid brother all the time. Even when they really fucking aren’t. I’ll call when I’m home.” he pulled the door open, regretting the childishness of this whole situation immediately, and left Mikey standing alone in his kitchen.

Gerard paced up and down outside the closed door. Their Ma always told them not to say goodnight on a bad note. Gee was halfway to swallowing his pride and apologising when his phone bleeped in his pocket. He faltered for a moment, and then gave into the temptation. The timing was a little shitty, but Gerard couldn’t help the little rush in his chest when he saw the little flashing ‘FRANKIE:)’ across the screen.

A few days after they’d first met, Gerard may or may not have been hanging around the parking lot like a total creeper, all the while trying to convince himself that he just wanted some ‘fresh air’. A week or so of skulking around, he was beginning to give up; but finally on a cloudy Tuesday, Gee picked his way over to the carpark only to be greeted by a sparkling grin and raised eyebrow.

“Back again?” came that voice that Gerard wouldn't admit he’d been weirdly fixated on since he first heard it, and suddenly Gee was pretty sure he was going to die again, then and there. “What you running from today?” Frank asked brightly when Gee approached as far as the shade would allow and plonked himself down on the kerb.

Just like the first time, he was hit by this overpowering thick, sharp-but-sweet scent. It was something of a miracle when Gee muttered out, “Everything”, instead of just silently salivating. Frank’s eyebrow’s quirked, pulling Gerard’s guts right up along with them.

“Yeah?” he said.

“Yeah.” Replied Gerard, holding Frank’s gaze remarkably well if he did say so himself.

“Lay it on me, then.” Frank said, and Gee was 90% sure he imagined the glint in Frank's eye as he lay himself back against the kerb. Gerard glowed. Look at him, out socialising like a normal person in an abandoned parking lot. Half of his mind was thinking about rubbing Mikey's face in it, while the other was thinking about the patch of pale skin showing above Frank's belt.

So, this was why, a few months later Gerard was standing outside Mikey’s apartment grinning down at his phone like an idiot. It was why he stopped grousing so much when Mikey and Kristen wanted a day or two to themselves, and it was why, instead of turning right out of Mikey’s apartment building that evening, he took a left, sticking to the shadowed storefronts, and followed the road until he reached an old brick building with graffiti up and down the doorframe.

He slammed on the buzzer and grinned when a high-pitched, crackly voice broke over the line.

“Unless you have sharp white fangs and black hair, **or** you have pizza, you can fuck off.”

“Well…” Gee replied, grin still plastered over his face even though he sounded about as confident as a baby puffin. “I don’t have pizza…”

A broken noise sounded over the intercom which might have been laughter.

“Come up.”

The first thing Gerard noticed when Frank opened the door- after the most endearing smile he’d ever seen- was the ink trailed up and down his bare arms. He’d caught glimpses before, but this was a lot. His grey tee was tight, with the remains of a design now faded into oblivion, faint shadows underneath suggested more art Gerard might never get to see. He swallowed, feeling simultaneously glad and incredibly bitter that Frank wore long sleeves pretty much at all times.

“Hey.” he managed, smiling with all his teeth. Frank grinned back.

“Finally learnt my address, huh?” he said, stepping back to let Gerard inside, who flapped when Frank started to laugh.

“Not fair, dude. You gave me like… two directions last time and I had to guess the rest.” Gee kicked off his shoes and followed Frank into the living room where there were already two beers waiting on the table. 

“Forty-five fucking minutes to walk four blocks.” he snorted, flopping down on the couch and gesturing for Gee to do the same. 

“I was lost!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” mumbled Frank, giggling like a fucking fifteen year old. “Okay-" Frank turned towards him with two DVDs in hand. Gerard shifted, pretending like he hadn’t just been fixated on the line of Frank’s jaw as he swigged his beer. Whatever. “‘So I was thinking Silence of the Lambs’ or ‘Devil's Rejects’?”

“Do you even have something to play those on?" Gerard pointed at the cases.

"What- Oh, yeah, my laptop's old." He pulled a face. "My ex changed her Netflix password so, yeah, i'm a little limited." He sank into the couch and waved the cases at Gerard again. Gee just smiled like an idiot while Frank raised an eyebrow and raised Silence of the Lambs, then Devil's Rejects in turn. 

"Cannibals, obviously.” said Gerard, tentatively heading to join Frank on the couch. In his head he berated himself for the phrasing he'd used. Out of the millions of words in the English language he always had to pick the creepiest one possible. He couldn't stop obsessing over the fear that every Human who saw him thought he wanted to eat them alive; and now the new fear that Gerard could literally feel Frank's pulse in his very atomic makeup. Frank, oblivious, grabbed the remote, already babbling about his favourite scenes. Gerard watched him, because that was his new favourite thing to do. The guy was like a little ball of electricity, chatting away, or making these round, wide fingered gestures with his hands. He bounced around on the couch like he might jump up and start jogging or, like, throwing stuff at any moment. So different from the smooth, dark figure he’d seemed to be the first few times they met. It was totally rad. 

Half way through the movie they paused it so Frank could pee, and somehow they never got it started again. First they needed snacks, then Gee got Frank talking about Black Flag and that was both a good and bad idea because Frank was a bottomless pit of knowledge about post-hardcore. Gerard, not for the first time, wished he'd paid more attention to Mikey's love of Misfits. He had some catching up to do, but Frank was more than happy to explain. 

By now Gerard had long adjusted to the pull of his scent. He'd almost come to enjoy the burn in the pit of his stomach whenever Frank was around. In fact, he enjoyed everything about being close to Frank; how easy he was to talk to, how they liked all the same movies, how he made Gerard feel like a person and not some anomaly of nature. Sitting in the squidgy couch in the low light of Frank's apartment it also dawned on Gerard that he wasn't anxious anymore. He wasn't worrying about the ceiling falling in or about leaving on time or saying the wrong thing. He was just _there_. With Frank.  

“I wasn’t always like this, you know.” he blurted when Frank paused for breath. They were four drinks and a good few cigarettes in. Frank seemed a little more chilled out now, head dropped back against the couch. For the first time in a long time, he felt warm. Like his body was keeping in the heat, even though he knew it wasn’t- it couldn’t.

“What do you mean?” 

Gerard swallowed and bit his tongue between his front teeth.

“Uh, a Vampire.” he said. Apparently this abundance of comfort he was feeling loosened his mouth. Oh well, he was going for it now.

“You haven’t?” Frank’s gaze was soft and a little hazy but present nonetheless. Gerard feigned fascination with his empty bottle and shook his head.

“If you don’t mind, uh, what happened-?”

“I don’t mind I- It’s not that interesting really I just…” Gerard shrugged, but Frank’s steady gaze was working like a vocal laxative. Within minutes everything was spilling out. 

“Basically, My first girlfriend, Leah, was a Vampire-”

“Oh.” said Frank, tone unreadable. Gerard sucked air through his teeth and nodded.

“Yeah. Well I’d known her for a while and obviously really liked her. You know how shit was a few years ago. My parents weren’t too happy, but it wasn’t a big deal. Not as much as it would be now, you know? But I was seventeen and so fucking sure that I knew what I was doing, so I ignored them. Typical teen, you know?” he said with a huff of laughter.

“They learnt to live with it, anyway. Figured it was a ‘phase’ or... I don't know, learned to ignore it.” he said. Frank grimaced. “God, it’s kind of embarrassing. Uh, at the beginning of this year we’d been together like four years and it was the most serious thing i’d ever… ever had I guess, and- well, neither of us really knew much about it- but I figured that the next stage would be letting her, you know-” Gerard made a biting motion with two of his fingers. There was a small crease between Frank's eyebrows as he listened. All the energy seemingly focussed on keeping his gaze in one place.

“It just seemed like the next step. Fuck nows why. TV, maybe. No one told us anything, like…” he gestured sideways, fingers splayed. “Like, where you went to school, did they ever teach you about any of this shit in… I don’t know… Biology or whatever? No, Exactly. So, like I said we were just fucking stupid. All we knew about was the consent law, and we both consented so, yeah. She didn’t know how much was too much. For a while we got away with it, nothing happened, but all it takes is once too far; a couple seconds too long…”

“Dude.” said Frank, looking upset, like he could feel it radiating off Gerard. Not pity-sad. Not the sad Gerard hated when he saw it on Mikey, or Mikey’s friends, or his old friends, or his parents; just sad. Sad for Gerard.

“I know.”

“How long ago?”

“Almost a year.”

“Are you guys still-“

“No.”

“Oh.” said Frank, eyes dropping to the couch. Again, the mystery tone was back.

“I don’t even know where she is. I don’t remember much of anything. I remember the bite, but it goes blurry after that. And- oh my god, you’re not even going to believe-”

“Tell me?” 

Gerard took a breath as he recalled that first night, face down in the gravel, head pounding; thinking he would die there.

“I woke up later and it was pitch dark. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear trees. I felt- it’s not even something I can describe- drunk and hungover I guess but, like, bad. Dehydrated. I don’t know how long I lay there. I was all over the place. Like, it's a rough process for anyone and, god knows, being out in the middle of the woods wasn't a fucking blessing.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, I was on a path on the outskirts- a mile or so past the factory. Fuckers.”

“She took you there and left you?" 

Gerard nodded. “I don't know if they thought they killed me or what. Worst part is, when I got well enough to- you know- function, she’d gone. Completely gone. Left town, the whole family. Fled, I guess.”

“That’s horrific.”

“I can kinda see why they went. Prison sentence would be like- what, like- Twenty-five years.”

“That’s unacceptable. Inhuman.” Frank said. The light cast from the paused TV sharpened his jaw and deepened his eyes until he looked like a ghost; like Gerard must look all the time.

"Inhuman." repeated Gerard. 

"Oh, dude, I didn't mean- I'm sorry I didn't think-" Frank's discomfort was apparent, but Gerard could hear his heartbeat surge like a jet engine. He shook his head and waved him off. 

"I know what you meant." Frank looked at him and Gerard looked back. "Fără decenta." he mumbled, gaze slipping into the middle distance. He could sense Frank still looking at him. "'Without decency'. It's Romanian. Her grandfather told me, and I would hear her family saying it all the time." Gerard drifted off. For the first time since entering the apartment the ebb of Frank's pulse in his ears slipped into the background. Swiftly he remembered weekends curled up with Leah in the basement of their tiny timber house outside town; her family on the big couch and them squashed in the armchair. He could hear the snarl in her Papa's voice, mumbling to his wife while we watched the news. Gerard couldn't understand most of it- but over the years he got to know that phrase. He knew it meant something significant but he didn't quite understand until recently what it was.

“So... did the police even look?” Frank said after a little while. Gerard raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah. I guess not.” Frank said quietly. “What a bitch.”

Gerard laughed in spite of himself.

“Yeah.”

*** 

At some point after midnight, Frank stole Gerard’s phone so he’d stop checking the time.

“Asshole.” he said. “You got somewhere to be?” Gerard looked up at him from his place on the couch and made very sure his voice was steadier than Frank’s when he replied.

“No. Just don’t wanna make you stay up too late if you-“

“Shut th’fuckup.” he mumbled leaning down and gracelessly snatching Gee’s phone from his hands. Gerard held back a gasp at the rush of heat up his arm and the spikey smell of iron in his nose when Frank’s fingers brushed his. Luckily, the dubious amount of Vodka Frank had just ingested prevented him from noticing. That’s what Gerard hoped, anyway. Frank wandered off to hide Gee’s phone.

“Frank you’re drunk.” Gerard announced when he stumbled and almost missed the kitchen door. Frank waved a hand and giggled when he spun back around.

“No.”

“Uh, yes. Were you drinking before I got here?” Gerard watched, amused as Frank tried to focus and made a helpless face in his direction.

"A little. Maybe." 

Gee watched Frank’s fingers as they fumbled with his kind-of-really-expensive phone, then safely shoved it into his pocket. Even when Frank withdrew his hand, Gerard couldn’t stop staring. The tattoos on his bare arm looked even blacker in the low light, and as much as Gee was pretty sure he’d be a fan of Frank’s body if it was completely plain, there was something about all that art sprawled across his flesh- warm blood pumping millimetres beneath… it was just too fucking much.

“So what’s it like?” Frank asked innocently, suddenly right next to Gerard on the couch, who jumped, because he’d kind of been too busy daydreaming about the guy’s fucking skin. 

“Huh? What?”

“Drinking blood.” Frank said simply, blinking at Gerard with those hazel eyes, bright like amber this close up.

“Uh…”

“Is it gross?” 

“It’s-“ Gerard scratched at his hair. “Uh, well with the tinned shit you don’t really taste much of anything. It’s like if I were to eat a sandwich, it would be kind of like eating… ghost food.” Frank was watching him with those glassy eyes and dark eyelashes and mouth just slightly open because he was about to be so fucking out of it and he was beautiful. Gerard had seen it from when they first met, he obviously noticed when they hung out in the following weeks, but up close like this he could really appreciate that the entire body sprawled out in front of him was a masterpiece. A masterpiece with whom he had no chance in hell, even if they both wanted to. Awesome.

“Isn’t that bad for you, though.” Frank asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Gerard’s cold heart was bursting. He ignored the way his cold body was desperately trying to humiliate him with a purple-tinged flush to the cheeks. Gross.

“Like don’t you need the live stuff… aren’t you, like, hungry?”

Gee made a face.

“It’s not so bad now. I mean, when you first wake up after getting turned, it’s crazy. All you want to do is eat. Everything smells like food and, it was kind of funny, my brother’s girlfriend used to give me these huge oranges to bite on because she was worried i’d chew on my own arm or something… No amount of blood they bought was enough. My body adjusted. Now I need a few cans every couple of weeks. They’re not the best i guess but they have to do for most everyone, seeing as the alternative requires…” he trailed off and Frank shifted a final couple of inches, dropping his head onto Gee’s thigh. Gee’s stomach clenched immediately, shiver shooting through him.

"A willing victim." Frank supplied with another giggle. Gerard, feeling each pump of Frank’s heart like a sledgehammer, swallowed and nodded.

He ignored it the best he could, answering Frank’s child-like questions determinedly with stories about being a new vampire; how the nocturnal cycle wasn’t much of an adjustment; how he missed his friends, but it was getting harder to stay in touch; how his parents still weren’t used to it. All the while he could feel the blood pulsing through Frank in his _core_. Frank was halfway through a muddled sentence about a vampire he used to know when Gerard stood up abruptly. Frank blinked at him, head dislodged and falling unceremoniously onto the couch.

Gerard scrambled to pick up their empty beer bottles, including the one in Frank’s lap, brushing against him in the process. The contact was dizzying.

“Want me to- Uh- get more of these?” he said too quickly, with what he hoped was a passable smile. Frank quirked an eyebrow, eyes wide and dark from this angle. Gerard took a deep breath, and Frank nodded.

“Fridge. You know where it is.” he said softly.

Gerard scuttled off to the kitchen- almost sending three things flying in the process. He slumped against the kitchen counter with a sigh and threw the empty bottles into Frank’s recycle basket. After a second spent re-evaluating his life, he pushed himself forwards and headed for the fridge. As he searched around inside he felt the sticky feeling in his gut and resignedly decided that if Kristen were to appear and offer him an Orange to bite right then, he would take it without hesitation.

***

“I should get back.” Gerard mumbled into the silence at 4:30.

“Yeah.” replied Frank after a beat. Gee was impressed, he thought he’d been asleep.

“Whassa time?” he said, shifting on the couch and sitting up. Gee squinted through the dark living room at Frank’s silhouette.

“I don’t know.” he said fondly. “Some dude has my phone.” It took a second, but Gerard could basically hear Frank’s brain click as he realised that the ‘some dude’ was _him_.

“Oh!” he said, fumbling to find it. “Oh. Yeah you really should go. It’ll be light soon.”

“You feeling better, Frankie?” Gee asked when they got to the door. Frank smiled hazily and nodded one two many times. Obviously he didn’t throw enough of that alcohol up.

So maybe Gerard shouldn’t have let him have _quite_ so much to drink after his trip to the kitchen. But he was quickly discovering that he only had so much willpower when Frank turned his puppy eyes onto him. Even his drunk, slightly leery puppy eyes. Plus, he was too busy ignoring the unwelcome gnawing in his gut whenever Frank got close, to begin a game of tag with alcohol bottles. So he let him drink.

And subsequently let him lean back against Gerard after he’d puked his guts into the toilet about an hour and a half ago. They both retreated to the couch after that, and just lay in the darkness. Frank half-comatose, and Gee happy to just nap a little. It was nice. It was what he imagined his weekends might have been like in some alternate universe where he wasn’t a freak.

“Gerard are you sure I- Are you gonna be safe around here at night? Shit’s crazy recently. Can I- Uhm walk with you to- home.. I mean, Can I walk you home?” Frank leant on the doorframe and even as he spoke his eyes were drooping. Gerard smiled.

“Dude I’m fine.” he said gently, stepping backwards into the hall and waving a hand. “Anyway i’m, uh, not sure how cool it would be if we were seen walking together, you know.” Gerard finished quietly. Frank’s sleepy face fell and Gerard thought he might faint.

“Gerard.” he said, suddenly stepping close and putting a hand right on Gerard’s fucking chest. Gee made a note never to feed Frank alcohol ever again.

“Uhm. Frank.” he said when no more words were forthcoming.

“I’m fucking sorry.” he said, in the soulful way only a drunk dude can.

“Sorry? Why?” asked Gee patiently.

“I wish we could just...fuck-“ Frank swayed again, eyes blinking for a little too long. 

“Okay, Frank.” Gee said gently, wincing at the rush as he took hold of Frank’s hands and pushed him back into his apartment, going a good few feet in just in case. “Me too.” he said under his breath, watching Frank fall back onto the couch with a thump. “Get some sleep okay, call me when you wake up.” Gerard watched Frank’s eyes flicker with the effort of keeping them open. He moved his head a little, and it was good enough confirmation for Gerard, even though he knew he’d probably forget this entire conversation. Maybe the entire night. Who knows. All that matters was that Gerard wouldn’t.

“Sleep well, Frankie.” he called softly as he retreated back through the door and closed it behind him to the soft sound of snores coming from the living room.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment as he waited for the elevator, listening for the ding as the doors slid open in front of him. When he walked in and leant against the back wall, for the first time in a while it didn’t bother him that he couldn’t see his reflection in the elevator mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short af cause i figured better something than nothing right? ? ? 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry 
> 
> idk


	3. Bloodwashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pl e a se disregard mistakes and sloppy writing I gotta go through and fix it. Will do ASAP xo

Gerard woke up that evening with a heavy ache thrumming through his body. It felt like his veins were bruised. He groaned and sat up, clutching at his head when spots burst over his eyes. His feet swung around onto the thick carpet and he almost heaved; pausing for a long moment with his hand over his stomach. He was hungry, but there was no way he should be _this_ hungry. Not yet. He should be golden for at least another week before his vision began to blur like this. Sunshine traced deadly lines over the rug and he hissed when his bare foot nearly collided with one.

“What the fuck?” he muttered. When he felt like he could move again, he reached out for his phone. The date and time flashed up along his screen and he scowled, dropping it back onto his nightstand and shuffling- very slowly- over to the bedroom door. He felt _old_ like mortal old man old. His hair fell in greasy strings, sticking up at the back from his turbulent few hours of sleep. Fuck this.

He padded into the kitchen in slow motion and opened each cabinet one by one, feeling on all accounts more zombie than vampire. Each empty drawer and cupboard seemed to slant his vision more until he threw a mini tantrum by the fridge on discovering that it, too, was empty. After another laborious walk across the room, he grabbed the house phone and took two tries to dial the number he knew off by heart.

“Mikey?” he said as soon as the dial tone crackled off.

“Gee? We’re just in the middle of dinner could you-“

“I think I’m dying.”

“Again?” he drawled. Gerard squeaked at him. There was a muffled sigh and Gee could hear Kristen’s soft voice in the background.

“Alright.” He didn't sound as concerned as Gerard would have liked, and after another pause said, “Can you walk?” which was an equally unsatisfactory response.

Gerard replied, admittedly petulantly, in the affirmative.

“Come over in twenty okay? Sun sets in about ten.”

***

“Well it says,” Kristen said, finger following a line of text on her laptop screen. Mikey was sprawled upside down on the couch, staring at the muted TV. Thank God for Kristen.

“That hormone levels can ‘greatly vary the volume of sustenance required by a vampire, along with moon cycles in rare and hybrid cases’. Then there’s, ‘serious emotional trauma and/or psychological shifts’.” She read, throwing Gerard a glance from over her glasses. Gerard shrugged and glanced over at his brother, who was still no more help than the empty cans of fruit in their pantry. Gerard rolled his eyes. He was just sour because Kristen made him venture out to buy more blood for his poor dying brother.

“I don't think I've had any... uh... shifts.” Gee piped up once he’d stopped staring daggers at the souls of Mikey’s Docs.

“Uh… well it also says; ‘Nutritional fluctuations, common in traveling members of the species can be the root of hormone fluctuations causing extreme energy loss.’ That doesn't sound like you either.” 

“Right.” Gerard grunted, dropping his head onto his hands.”

“Or,” continued Kristen, raising her eyebrows. “'The influential properties of the Vampire's frequent company should be noted.’”

“Translation?” called Mikey from the couch.

Kristen wrinkled her nose. “I’m not really sure, like, New people?” She pushed the laptop away. “Made some friends, Gee?” she asked. Everything from her voice to her raised eyebrow suggested that she already knew the answer. Gerard scowled and muttered something non-committal.

He ignored Kristen’s knowing glance, and Mikey’s snigger from the couch.

“I’m going home.” he muttered, gritting his teeth against the steady swell of pain through his gut. The feeling was working its way back into his fingers, but the bruising sensation was replaced by a warm kind of tingling. Maybe this was what it was like to feel full.

Gee was halfway to the hall when the phone rang and Mikey hopped off the couch, darting in front of gee to pick it up. Gerard scowled and pulled his coat on, tangling the arms somehow in the process.

“It’s mom.” Mikey mouthed when Gee looked up.

“Oh.” he said quietly, hovering by the doorway because she hadn’t been returning his calls this week.

“Dad, I- yeah, yeah I know- I was- Okay, yeah but- Gerard’s here, Dad, do you-“ Gerard met his brother's eyes at that moment, but Mikey dropped his gaze lightning fast. He turned so Gerard was left staring at the side of his face.

“But, Dad,” he said quietly, as if Gerard couldn’t hear him three feet away. “No, I know- Okay. Alright. Talk to you later, then. Bye.” Mikey turned back around to Gerard, phone hanging at his side like hiding it could erase what had just happened.

“He- uh- there was-“

“Don’t fucking bother.” he ignored Kristen's sad gaze and grabbed his coat before slamming out of the door like a child.

***

He was still wound up about it a week later, when he was sitting on Frank’s couch grumbling incoherently into his beer about being too old for a daddy complex.

“Gee.” Frank said carefully when Gerard took a rare pause to swig his beer- wishing it could have some effect on him. No harm in pretending.

“I don’t want to be like this anymore.” he mumbled. Frank’s eyebrows knitted and he put his beer down on the table. Gerard had to clutch tightly at his own when Frank shuffled forwards to put a hand on his knee.

“Gerard you’re-“

“I know I shouldn’t, but I hate it. I never knew… I never realised how bad it was.” he continued softly. “And I feel so fucking stupid for being so naïve.” He said.

“Dude you shouldn’t-“

“No,” said Gerard firmly. Frank tightened his grip on Gerard’s knee. “It’s so fucked up. Lived in my little house, went to my shitty little school, Frankie. I thought I was so out there, but I literally had no idea what this life was like for them- for us. Vamps.” he sighed and corrected himself. “My own fucking family look at me like i’m about to tear their faces off.”

"Gerard, none of this is your fault, alright. Don't beat yourself up about any of this. We live and learn and all that shit. This is hard, and you're doing so good." 

Wind rattled the apartment window and Frank’s lights flickered. It happened a lot, and by now it was weirdly comforting.

”I know what you need.” Frank said suddenly, breaking the charged silence in a single movement, tapping Gerard’s leg and pulling his arm away. Gee didn’t know he could miss a single touch so much until the warmth of Frank’s side disappeared.

“Get your jacket, we’re going out.”

***

“Frank where are we going?” Gerard asked for the fourteenth time. And Frank shot his fourteenth sly grin over his shoulder and dragged Gerard across another street. He had no fucking idea where they were. He’d been lost since the second turn they took out of the apartment. They’d stopped at two bars already, and Gerard was glad they decided not to drive because Frank was pitching worryingly as he bounded around a corner, Gerard in tow. The dude's microscopic body mass clearly didn't do him any favours where alcohol was concerned.

They turned onto a new street and for an irrational moment Gerard worried that the sun was rising. Light spilt over him, making him stumble to a stop briefly, hand halfway up to his face. Bursts of colour reflected from the walls, bouncing off the wet sidewalk and shining off storefronts.

“Kinda cool, huh?” came Frank’s voice from a little way ahead. Gerard nodded dumbly and slowly put one foot in front of the other again, snapping back into focus when he felt a warm hand grab his own and Frank’s high pitched giggle when he caught sight of Gee’s awestruck expression.

Most things on street level looked closed- but a thousand different shades of flashing light poured from the windows above. Muffled music drifted down too, melodies mixing from every direction.

“Wow.” Gee, breathed. His fingers twitched for his paintbrushes because he had no idea that there was anything this beautiful in their grey and white city. He wanted to take a picture, but he knew it could never do justice to the feeling of the damp street at midnight, so instead he just enjoyed the warmth of Frank’s fingers clinging around his own.

“If this is the red light district i’m going to be so mad-“ he mumbled.

“Shut up, we’re here.” laughed Frank, taking a sudden right down a steep, narrow fight of stairs tunnelling under the block above. Gee wrinkled his nose as he took a final glance upwards at the disappearing glow of the blocks of twinkling windows, before they were obscured from view by the mossy brick walls closing in on them.

“I swear to god, Frankie, I’m gonna be upset if I die here tonight.” Gee said as they descended into the darkness. “Seriously, Mikey will hunt you down and- Oh.” he said as he felt the heavy thump of a bass-line pumping out from the darkness below.

“So little faith, Gee.” Frank pulled Gerard the remaining few steps and straight through a heavy black swing door.

Gerard felt tremors in his chest as music burst around him, blasting from a stage he couldn’t quite see over the mass of bodies. Low red lighting flooded hoards of people writhing and thrashing around a few yards away. Ceiling supports snaked down like stalactites, splitting the crowd periodically. Gerard absently hoped they were up to their job. His hand was still firmly clasped in Frank’s as he was tugged across the floor to the bar. It was no less busy here. People were piled up, pressing against one another, reaching for drinks and laughing over the music.

“Frankie, where are we?”

“Nowhere.” Frank said happily, dragging Gerard through another few couples who fluidly moved out of the way before slipping back together. “According to the council anyway, this place doesn’t legally exist.” He grinned at Gerard and tugged him another few feet before stopping, still holding onto Gerard's sweater as he semi-collided with him. “I think you’ll like this band.” Frank murmured into his ear, and Gerard started, because despite the noise, it was like he could feel Frank inside his head. He nodded with the least nervous smile he could muster, because maybe if he could really hear the band properly he _would_ like it. To be honest Frank could tell him he’d like the fucking Wiggles and he'd probably agree anyway.

“Bar.” Frank mouthed, nodding in the direction of the least-lethal looking section of the queue. A few dark-rimmed eyes flitted over him, the odd smile which he never had time to return before the glance had passed. He felt his body desperately trying to send a flush to his cheeks. He felt studied, and to his surprise, he didn’t hate it. Metal-adorned ears glinted as people moved through the shadows, and there was hardly a natural-coloured head of hair in sight. As they approached the bar he noticed more and more sets of pointed canines flashing right alongside regular jaw-fulls of teeth. A tall, long taloned vampire girl curled around a black-haired human boy. Two human guys showing off their tattoos to a spaced out vampire. All the time the bloody light washing everyone out and filling them in all at once. Gerard didn’t know where to look.

Gerard had precisely no time to ask what the fuck Frank meant by this place didn't exist, because he was leaning in to ask what he wanted to drink. The next thing Gee knew, he was watching Frank’s back weave through the knots of people, heading for the bar. Gerard’s hand felt cold as he leant up against a suspicious looking supporting column, watching Frank’s tiny form part the crowd with ease.

After Frank finally disappeared, Gerard pulled his hands up into his sleeves and gave his best effort at being invisible, shoulders hunched down, hair falling over his face. Frank was right, the music pulsing through him was definitely not bad. The bass was up too high and squeaking feedback distorting the melody, but what he could hear of it he liked. He squinted, looking for the stage through the smokey room. He could just about make out the glimmer of a mic stand, and two or three bodies throwing themselves around a foot or so above the sea of equally-lively heads. Gerard wondered if they were such an even mix of Vampire and Human over there, all up in each others’ space. Moving together, and against each other, and into each other to the same music like it didn’t fucking matter. Like all the bullshit outside didn’t exist.

The sight was still blowing his mind. He couldn’t help but glance down at the mouths on the faces he saw, watching for a long splinter of white when they laughed or yelled or sang, and then fuller skin and brighter eyes. Plus, a focus on strangers’ teeth helped him ignore the occasional hungry glances thrown his way. Flashes of black whenever he met someone’s eyes, every fucking time. He felt like he was under a microscope, and there was nothing he could do to hide. His skin tingled with the heavy gaze of a dark haired girl, sweeping right down and then up, settling on his lips without a trace of shame before she was spun away by taller girl with dark, rich skin that glittered in the light.

He was buzzing inside out by the time he caught sight of Frank fighting his way back over with a beer in each hand. He was about to step forward- meet him halfway- but he was stopped in his tracks when a hand landed at Frank’s chest and he turned. Gerard couldn’t help himself frowning as his gaze slid up to a tall guy with dark hair and a pair of sparkling canines leaning over Frank. He couldn’t hear what was said, but he saw Frank turn one of his radiant smiles on this guy and Gerard thought his stomach might explode with the surge of adrenaline.

Then Frank duck his head, eyes darting up to meet Gerard’s as he leant in to whisper something to Tall Asshole (christened by Gerard within 0.1 seconds of his hand making contact with Frank’s body.)

 _Fuck, he was so gone,_. Stage four terminal fucking crush on a living, breathing, devastatingly gorgeous human boy who was currently pointing straight at him, lip ring glittering on his pretty mouth, which was still moving.

Despite the five or so seconds of vivid images involving tearing Tall Asshole to shreds with his bear teeth, Gee shrank when his dark, hooded gaze followed Frank’s finger and landed straight on his face. He watched back from under his hair as Frank’s mouth moved once more, and the two nodded at each other, Frank leaving a parting smile, before he walked quickly back over to where Gerard was frozen on the spot.

“Hey.” he said, shoving a beer at Gerard by way of explanation.

“You’re making friends.” Gee said, maybe a little more bitchy than he wanted to, but Frank’s mouth just quirked up into a half smile and he took another half step forwards.

“Yeah, well, I told him I was with you, so…” Gerard's chest gave such a violent flutter that it felt like his heart just started again his. He stared down at Frank like a total, complete moron.

“Anyway.” Frank said, still smooth as fucking butter. Thank god there was someone here who wasn’t fucking defective. “You were getting a couple of looks yourself you know.” Frank said, his voice rough around the edges in a way that melted Gerard’s kneecaps clean away.

“That’s- uh- I think they were just-“ Gerard squeaked when Frank took a final step forwards, closing the distance between them. _he’s drunk_ a voice mumbled in the back of Gee’s mind.

“Don’t even fucking tell me that they weren’t thinking of getting their hands all over you.” said Frank, the press of his beer bottle cool against Gerard’s cooler stomach.

“I don’t- I didn’t-“

“Gerard.” Frank said seriously, looking up at him with those wide eyes, stained red in the light but still on the edge of angelic. Even circled with dark black, and above his sharp little nose and mouth and the fiery side Gerard had only seen once or twice, there was some kind of innocence- or maybe integrity- in those eyes when he looked at Gerard like that. And it was ready to reduce him into a useless puddle when the thought was dashed by a hard nudge to the middle and a head of fuzzy hair suddenly next to his nose.

“Frank! Frank, thank fucking fuck I found you.” A girl with half a buzzcut rambled from right between them. Frank took a startled step back, fixing his gaze on the girl at once. Gerard, still getting his breath back from the whole Frank situation- watched his eyes widen and then immediately narrow as comprehension dawned over him. The girl ran black claws through the longer section of her hair- pink under the light but most likely peroxide blonde- and her eyes were darting around like she was watching out for something; like she was afraid.

“What are you doing here, Claudia?” asked Frank sharply, gravely texture to his tone dissipated. Gerard wondered if he imagined it to begin with. Wishful thinking and all… He just stood there, clutching at his beer bottle and letting his brain wrap around the sudden lack of Frank all up in his space.

“I thought you might be here- I- It’s- The police are everywhere.” she said in a rush, lowering her voice as much as the music allowed. Gerard could only just hear them and he was two feet away, it was unlikely they were going to be overheard.

“Slow down, what the fuck?” Frank said, reaching for her wrist and pulling her closer. Gerard bristled.

“Here. They’re here, Frank, outside. There was- I was out with some others. We just left O’Reiley’s and we were gonna go home. One of the guys just stopped for a smoke. All he wanted was a smoke.” she said, covering her mouth with her hand as the tears started, glistening a sickly red off her cheeks. And the sound of a chorus building over the roar of the crowd was burrowing into Gerard’s ears and the girl’s sobs swam with Frank’s concerned eyes and then-

Gunshots. Quick-fire, six or seven in a row.

Harsh and unmistakable over the noise of the club, but muffled enough to tell that they came from the street.

The music screeched to a stop, amps blazing out a static buzz in the moments of silence before there was a wave of motion towards the door. Frank pulled the girl close to him with one arm and reached out for Gerard with the other. There they stood, clinging to each other and waiting for the rush to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Exams, rehearsals, tons of bullshit like that.  
> ***  
> I just cut my fucking hair myself and fucking butchered it RIP.  
> ***  
> Hope you're all good xo


	4. If I Could

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll go through to weed shit out & fix shit up tomorrow.  
> All fixed- let me know if u find anything else I need to sort?  
> ***  
> Sorry for the wait & that it's kinda loong xo

It was probably half an hour before the commotion died down outside and the final siren wailed into the distance. There’d been shouts and clatters but, thankfully, no more gunshots. No screams. The three of them sat shoulder to shoulder on the floor. The girl, Claudia, stopped crying once Frank had hushed her, but her breaths were still short and sharp when Frank shifted and knelt up.

“I think it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Claudia asked.

“Only one way to find out.” he turned and murmured to Gerard, “You okay?” 

“Yeah.”

Frank ran a hand through his hair; impossibly darker in the red glow, like his fingers might disappear clean into it.

“We gotta move.” Frank motioned to the door. The few people left in the club stood in huddles, speaking quickly into phones or simply standing close to each other, waiting. There was no one to tell us the coast was clear. No authority to take charge, because the authority were the ones causing the problem. This was so fucked. Claudia pulled herself to her feet after Frank, who held his hand out for Gerard to take. Together they made their way to the door, Gerard exchanging a long look with a human guy cross legged by the door. He nodded just slightly as they made it into the dingy stairway. 

Up on the street there was no noise. Frank stepped up onto the concrete first, Claudia and Gerard only a step behind him. Lights in the windows were dead, every trace of enjoyment extinguished. The street was silent.

“What happened?” Claudia whispered as Frank looked from left to right and, apparently satisfied, urged them along the sidewalk at a fair pace.

“I don’t know, but we need to get inside.” Frank sounded calm, but his free hand was still ploughing lines through his hair at a rate of knots.

“God fucking damn I hope everyone got away okay.” she muttered, probably more to herself than the others. Gerard hummed anyway and Frank heaved a sigh and murmured something which sounded like “Even if they did…”

They walked the next few streets in silence, Gerard’s hand securely in Frank’s. They took a turn onto a road Gerard vaguely recognised and Frank turned to Claudia.

“You gonna be okay from here?” he asked, streetlamps reflecting in his eyes. She peered down at her cell, brow creased.

“Yeah… I mean… I gotta get to the police station.” she said.

“No. You can’t go there alone. Especially not tonight." Claudia began to shake her head and Frank dropped Gerard's hand to grab hers. "Claudia, are you fucking crazy?”

“But my friends-“

“Will be fine. If you turn up downtown with your fangs all up in their face, all that’s gonna get you is arrested.”

“Frank they took my friends in the car… I- They’re not answering their phones…” Tears pooled in her eyes, glittering on her eyelashes. 

“You need to listen to me.” Frank said. She blinked and droplets ran down her face. “This is going to sound bad, but there’s nothing you can do. I can’t come with you, I gotta get Gee back, and even if I could…" his shoulders rose up with a deep breath. Distantly more sirens began to wail and all three of them tensed. Gerard stared down the empty street and caught the remaining few lights flicker off in the apartments either side of them. “We need you safe. You can’t help them if you’re beat up on the side of a road somewhere; or fucking locked up. You gotta- Look, Come back with us tonight, okay? I promise your fiends will be okay. We can find them as soon as the sun's down tomorrow.”

"He's right." Gerard tore his eyes from the end of the street and looked at her, black smeared down her ghost-pale cheeks. The redness usually present with tears was replaced by strains of purple stretching from her nose over her cheekbones. Gerard fought a weird urge to wipe her tears and petted her shoulder awkwardly instead. "We're better off together tonight." 

***

“Gerard, fuck.” Mikey said. Gerard could almost hear his brother twitching over the phone. Not good. He took a deep breath. 

“Yeah Mikes, Hi.”

“You piece of fucking shit. I couldn’t get hold of you- the news- fuck you, Gerard. Answer your fucking phone.”

“I’m sorry.” Gerard said, rubbing his hand over his face and yawning. He glanced out of Frank’s tinted window. The sun was fading again, safely hidden behind the buildings opposite. Late afternoon at the very earliest. “My phone’s been off.”

“Have you even- Where have you fucking _been_? Kristen knocked at your apartment this morning.”

“I’m- uh-“ Gerard’s eyes slid from the window and fell on the black head of hair half buried under the bedclothes next to him, one eye peeking at him sleepily.

“-at a friend’s.” he finished delicately. He could almost hear Mikey’s narrowed eyes over the phone.

“You don’t have friends, Gerard.” he said, tone edging back to monosyllabic. Far safer than the scratchy worry he saved for special occasions. Gerard let out a breath, causing Frank to stir next to him.

“Mikey.” Gerard warned. After a long, world weary sigh crackling over the line, Mikey relented.

“Okay, whatever. Gee, have you, like, turned on a TV today?”

“Why?”

Silence. Frank shuffled around under the sheets and semi-emerged from his cocoon with a frown on his face. Gerard batted away the sudden but insistent urge to pet his hair. _Friend,_ he reminded himself sternly.

“Oh, I- well if you haven’t been out then I guess it doesn’t matter…”

“Yeah, we stayed home.” he said, eyes falling dead on Frank’s, still lying there next to him. Frank's look wasn't questioning, just a little sad. Gerard turned back around. 

“Oh.” said Mikey, the urgency draining from his voice once and for all. “Okay. Don’t worry then, I was just freaked ‘cause there was this gristly murder like a few blocks from here and the police- When you didn’t answer the phone I- It was all over the news. I just thought that- It’s stupid“ Mikey huffed a laugh. “Forget it.”

Gerard pulled the sheets between his fingers and rubbed them together. Guilt bloomed then settled in his chest. His brother was just looking out for him, like he always did. He bit on his lip and winced when his canine sank deep into his skin.

“Okay, well, I’m safe and sound.” Gerard said faux-brightly. “I-Uh- I gotta go though, Mikes. Need some breakfast. I’ll text when I’m home, ‘kay? Love you!” he said, hanging up without waiting for any sort of reply.

Frank was casting that same gaze over him, and Gerard realised for the hundredth time over the past 24 hours that he was getting stupidly hungry again.

“My brother.” he said unnecessarily, waving his phone and chucking it to the foot of the bed. Frank studied him for a moment more, but then just stretched out like a cat. Gerard watched, fascinated as the muscles pulled tight over Frank’s back, then went slack as he flopped over his pillow and groaned.

“What time is it?”

Gerard scrambled to find his cell again. “Almost five.” Frank smiled tiredly and nodded.

“I guess we should get up, huh?” he said softly, glancing over Gerard’s half-covered body, leaving a prickling sensation in the wake of his gaze. 

“Yeah.” he said as Frank swung his legs over the bed and pulled himself up without so much as another glance in Gee’s direction. “Yeah, totally. I should- uh- get back when it gets dark I guess. Thank’s again for letting me sleep here, man. I totally would have been fine on the floor that was really cool of you.” he rambled, face palming when Frank smiled sweetly, mumbling something like “Anytime, dude.” as he disappeared into the bathroom.

By the time they were both somewhat dressed it was almost dark out. The TV remained firmly off, stood ominously opposite Frank's bed. The sound of the shower poured out under the bathroom door like steam and Gerard looked anywhere but the flat expanse of black pixels all staring at him like tiny eyes. They dared him to switch them on, to face whatever nightmare unfolded the night before. For whatever reason, Gerard really didn't fucking feel like it. 

When they padded out into the kitchen Frank waved a note he found on the counter.

“Claudia?”

“Yeah.” Frank sighed- the word barely audible through the rush of air as he slumped onto his elbow. “She left before sunrise.” He scanned over the note again. “Went to the fucking police station.” he grumbled, slapping the note face down onto the counter.

Gerard stood barefoot in the middle of the floor, clutching at his jacket. Frank looked up and forced a smile when he caught Gee's expression.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call her in a-“

“Frankie.” Gerard blurted, cutting over him. Frank blinked. “My brother, he- I think we should check the news.” he finished, quieter. Frank said nothing, lips forming a straight line as he headed for the remote.

A crime scene burst over the tiny kitchen screen as it plinked to life. Headlines scrolled along the bottom of the page. Frank paused for a moment then flicked up a channel. A reporter's voice blared out into the apartment. Blue and Red washed over Frank’s wrinkled brow as he watched in silence. His knuckles were tinged white on the remote.

_Notorious Fanged Killer strikes again: Not even its own kind is safe._

_Four dead in Brimsdale Park after night of terror. ’Lock Your Doors’ advise police department._

_Death toll rises and sectors remain unguarded. Central News asks, is this safe?_

_Unwarranted Vampire Violence; when will it end. More at 8._

Gerard sheathed his teeth and worried his bottom lip into his mouth as Frank made a final round through the channels and then viciously jabbed at the off button, wheeling to face Gerard.

“'It?' Fucking 'It?'. _' **Its** own kind_.' What is this bullshit?” he spat. Gerard shrugged. “Not a fucking word about the semi automatic some cop was waving around last night? The fucking arrests for no reason? Nothing?” he said, thrusting his hand at the TV, remote still clutched between his fingers.

“I don’t know, the murders are pretty big news. This guy killed like-“

“Open your eyes, Gee.” Frank said sharply, eyes darting to the window and back to Gerard’s face. There was something fierce burning there which only twisted the knot in Gee’s stomach tighter. Before he could really focus, Frank was moving, striding over to the counter and picking up his keys.

“We’re getting you home.”

Gerard would have protested, but his insides were screaming that he needed to eat, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could trust himself around Frank. Plus, yeah that news story was pretty freaky.

“Fucking propaganda.” Frank muttered every ten or so yards as he dragged Gerard along through the streets.

For a while Gee was too caught up in his head to notice the glances thrown their way from the outdoor seating of restaurants, or passing strangers, but as soon as he did, he also noticed the lack of pearly white protruding from anyone’s lips, and the immediate drop of their glances if their eyes happened to meet. His stomach was writhing at full potential now. If he didn't throw up or bite someone before he got home he will have done well. Frank's solitary reflection marched alongside them in store windows.

“Frankie…” Gerard mumbled as they turned a corner. Customers on a bar patio turned their heads in unison. This time, they didn't avert their eyes, just stared as Gerard shuffled up as close to Frank as possible and hurried along the street.

“Keep your head down.” Frank replied, making up for his sharp tone in the quick squeeze he gave Gerard’s hand. Gee just nodded and sheathed his teeth, buttoning his mouth closed. He knew it wasn’t enough to hide them completely, there were still a few millimetres of white peeking out from the corners of his mouth, but it was the best he could do. It used to be enough. Now he wasn't sure.

They turned onto another street and Frank groaned low in his throat, moving them on even faster. Gerard shot him a sideways look and matched his pace. The street looked innocent enough. Diners’ seating sprawled out over the large sidewalks, people ambling to and fro. Typical Friday night scene. Stores on either side were just closing for the evening, but the restaurants were pretty busy. As they approached the diner, Gee could sense Frank’s body tensing.

“Gerard keep walking, okay?” he said quietly as soon as they walked amongst the outdoor tables and chairs. Gerard didn’t know what to do, so he nodded and kept his head down as instructed. Frank’s fingers remained entwined with his own, white from the pressure. For a second or so he wondered what Frank was freaking out about. They got the odd up-and-down from the customers, but nothing much more intimidating.

Until, that is, they reached the far side of the clustered tables. They were almost at the end and Gee could feel Frank relaxing as they were about to make it thought, when a dude to the left stuck a foot into the makeshift aisle. Both Gee and Frank spotted it in time, but when Gerard’s gaze flicked up to the guy’s face, his eyes shouted malice. Gerard bit his lip and almost stumbled of his own accord. Frank stopped him, arm steady as a rock.

“Fanged fuckers around here, it’s fucking dangerous.” Gerard heard from behind them, and a muffled cackle from the direction of the douche who tried to trip them.

“Kid’s a fucking fool i’ll tell you that.” came the agreement from their left. Frank gritted his teeth and pulled Gerard from the mess of tables onto the plain pavement, closed shopfronts spreading out ahead.

“Get away while you still can, lad.” yelled a voice, followed by whoops of laughter and that sharp cackling as Gerard walked the remainder of the block staring at the floor. Ten minutes or so carried them away from the unkind eyes and remarks, and they walked it in silence, clinging to each others’ hands. The blocks grew quieter in turns until they started livening up again the closer they drew to Gee’s street. The storefronts phased from closed to buzzing, glass doors bright, open signs blazing. Lights from the apartments trickled onto the street and Frank’s stony expression broke away into something else entirely.

“So this is your side of town.” he breathed as they slowed to an acceptable pace.

“How could you tell?” Gerard shoved his hands into his pockets and letting the cool icy tears dry on his face. If Frank picked up his sarcasm, he didn't show it.

“Bats.” Frank said, pointing to a cage hanging out of a fifth storey window.

“Yeah.” he agreed. “Bats’ll do it.”

“Claudia’s street doesn’t look anything like this…Maybe they keep their bats inside.”

“We don’t all have bats, Frankie.” Gerard sighed. “Here. Turn here, we’re almost there.”

“Hey, hey.” Frank said gently, eyeing Gerard’s tight lips and the set of his jaw. His converse scuffed on the sidewalk and he tried to stop them both. Gerard kept heading forwards because he didn’t know what he would do with all this negative energy if he didn’t focus on the motion of his feet.

“You’re not still worried about those assholes?” Frank said softly, catching up and pulling Gerard to a stop as well. He tugged Gee to face him and raised his eyebrows. “Gee?”

Gerard closed his eyes and shrugged. 

"It takes some getting used to.”

“Don’t fucking say that. You shouldn’t have to get used to it man, that shit’s messed up.”

“Then I guess shit’s messed up.” he said. Frank scowled at him for a long moment like he had something else to add, but as far as Gerard was concerned, there was nothing more to say. He pulled Frank's hand gently and smiled. He nodded his head to the side. "let’s go, okay?" 

Frank was unwilling to relent, and only gave in when Gerard started to walk himself. A couple more yards and Frank was tugging at Gerard's hand again.

"Gee, look a liquor store. Wanna get something? We'll feel better." 

This coaxed a smile from Gerard at last, who still hadn't bothered to inform Frank that alcohol had absolutely no effect on him whatsoever. Instead he just cocked his head like he was thinking _really_ hard and said "Fine." 

Frank grinned up at him and that was prize enough. He was about to cross the street to the blinking light above the store when Gerard stopped him. 

"What?" 

“You don’t have these.” Gerard pointed to his teeth and then to their surroundings. "Probably not great for a human to show up demanding hard liquor around here right now." He illustrated his point with a sharp bite at the air. Frank snorted then begrudgingly agreed.

“And you look twelve.” added Gerard, darting inside before he could feel the force of Frank’s tiny wrath.

***

“So.” Gerard said, glass of something pale and sour clutched to his chest. “Claudia.” 

There were tins of empty blood strewn over the counter in the other room; because impending doom of his race or not, Gerard got fucking hungry a fucking lot nowadays. He’d shot Frank a long sideways glance as he sank his teeth into the film over the can and promptly closed his lips over the gap when red spurted through the puncture marks. Frank held his gaze for a second too long before continuing his tirade about the government. The guy was a vegetarian. This shit was weird.

Later, as they sprawled over the couch, feet lazily tangled together. Gerard enjoyed the buzz settled from feeling almost-full. He didn’t know if he could ever be 100% satisfied. But this was good enough, and it was sure as hell better than the aching all the time. There were two empty bottles of wine o the floor, plus the shit Gee grabbed from the liquor store, and whatever was in Frank’s hand. The apartment smelled of smoke, booze and iron. Frank was well on his way to trashed and past caring. Gerard kind of liked it. The scent of Frank was hitting him every few minutes and it was keeping the warmth circulating in his core.

“Yeah.” Frank said softly. Gerard waited. He took another messy swig of the shit in his bottle and then laughed bitterly. “I don’t know, man.”

“You don’t have to-“

“Mmno. It’s cool.” Frank said, bottle on his chest tipping precariously. He looked somewhere between wistful and apologetic. “I didn’t realise all this shit on my own.” he mumbled. And- yeah, that made no sense, but he said it so fucking earnestly Gerard was about willing to nominate him for a Nobel peace prize.

“What?” Gerard said. Frank’s eyes were wide and honest and soulful. Again.

“Yesterday, Gee. You said I just ‘got it’. All this vampire shit.” he said. Gerard narrowed his eyes and then nodded hesitantly. Frank shook his head.

“Nah.” he said. “That girl taught me everything I know.”

Oh. Gerard tried not to show on his face how hard that hit. 

“So you and her are…”

“No!” Frank shouted. Gerard giggled in spite of himself, making a shushing gesture, finger to his lips. Frank’s eyes widened adorably and he shifted again, repeating, quietly, ‘No’.

“I mean, we were.” he added. “But…” he shook his head again, more definitely this time, then blinked like maybe that made him a little dizzy. “She’s a pain.” he said with finality. “And she used to steal my eyeliner all the fucking time.”

Gerard watched Frank crash back down onto the couch, drink sloshing onto his shirt as he closed his eyes.

“Plus, she wasn’t cool like you, man.” Frank mumbled. Gerard felt a tingle in his gut as he smiled at his crossed legs. Frank was shifting around again. “Never met anyone like you.” 

Gerard felt his body sending second-hand blood to his cheeks and the lukewarm fuzz wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Frank’s breathing was a little heavy like maybe he’ll sleep soon. Gerard was cool with that. Today had been a shitshow.

“Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself.” he said, making to get up and clear up a little, but before he could even really react, the couch cushion next to him was dipping and Frank’s hands were on him.

“Frank?” he said intelligently, letting his shoulders fall back onto the couch cushions. Without any permission at all Gerard’s hands were on Frank’s waist as he climbed into his lap, and his breathing was pitching like crazy because apparently this was fucking happening. His stomach felt like it was filled with lead balls; the throb in his veins was suddenly back despite the eighty cans of blood he just inhaled, and it felt like maybe it would be unbearable if the smell of Frank wasn’t clouding every one of his senses with this weird longing bliss.

"Oops" Frank said, smile flickering over his face as he angled his hips a little. 

Oops was fucking right. Gerard's whole body was rigid.

"Is this... Tell me this is okay?" Frank said, breathing shallowly. Gerard could feel his pulse through every point of contact like a sledgehammer.

"Yeah." he squeaked, then cleared his throat. For fuck's sake. "Yeah." he tried again. "Sure, I don't- yeah it's okay." 

“Dude.” mumbled Frank, pressing his warm fingers everywhere, scrabbling around and making Gerard squirm. Then, “Fucking finally.” he hissed on a long sigh. Gerard’s brain still hadn’t entirely caught up with the situation, so he let Frank struggle clumsily down his torso and began tracing his belt. Gerard dropped his head back as Frank began to fight it open, but he almost gave himself whiplash snapping his neck up at Frank’s intake of breath.

“What, what?” he said breathlessly, because Frank sounded kind of awestruck and, as far as Gee was aware, nothing had happened yet.

“Your dick.”

“Uh, yeah. What?” said Gerard, pulling back a little. Because that can’t be good. “What’s- Frankie,  _what_?”

“It’s fuckin- fucking _white_ man.” breathed Frank, voice on a slur which made it impossibly more attractive. Gerard blinked, because what the _fuck_ , Frank?

“I- No blood.” Gerard reminded him, sinking a fang into his lip and trying not to frown too hard, because now Frank was kneeling over him, his hands stilled on Gerard’s hips, just _looking_.

Gerard squirmed some more.

“But-“ Frank’s hand inched down from his hip until it was resting on the crease of his leg. He was hovering like maybe he might want to move it somewhere a little less safe in the near future. Gerard took a breath and wondered why the fuck they were talking about his dick when there were so many more fun things they could be doing. 

“But-“ Frank tried again, all soft tones and wide eyes. Gerard suppressed a moan deep in his throat when he blinked up at him with huge black pupils blown right out. “You’re hard for me.” and oh. my. God. Gerard slipped a hand around Frank’s neck an pulled him close, running his mouth down his neck, muttering something along the lines of 'well  _yeah._ '

“How?” Frank asked when Gerard ducked to slide his razor-sharp teeth over Frank’s collarbone and he was dizzy with the rush of blood he could feel just under the skin. It was all around him, so thick in his nostrils that he could almost taste it; feel the sour edge of alcohol curled under the sweet smell of Frank that was so familiar to Gerard by now that it was imprinted on the insides of his veins. His brain stalled for a second as he flicked his tongue out over Frank’s bare skin.

“It’s, uh, fluid replaces-“

“Wait, wait, wait,” rushed Frank, breath ghosting over Gerard’s hair. “Never mind, I don’t care- I just want-“ and then, if Frank carried on talking, Gerard couldn’t for the life of him remember what he was saying because his hand was pushing the hem of his boxers finally out of the way and his hand closed around Gerard’s cock. Gee’s head fell back agains the couch and for the first time since he woke up with fangs in his mouth, he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

“Can I kiss you now.” mumbled Frank after a little while, syllables tangling together. It was so quiet Gerard wasn’t sure if he’d heard right, but Frank’s hand was stilling and when Gee dragged his head up and looked into Frank’s eyes he knew. And, yeah, there was that tug in the back of his mind that he’d been trying to ignore, surfacing now more insistent than ever.

“Frankie,” he gritted out, and it was more of an effort than anything he’d ever said in his life, but he had to. “you’re drunk.” he murmured into his hair, eyes closed, cursing the fucking city, and the assholes, and the alcohol and his fucking golden conscience because there was nothing he wanted more than to feel that lip ring against his tongue.

“Yeah.” hummed Frank, all long and drawn out. “But you’re still pretty, and I still want you.”

Gerard’s cock twitched against Frank’s hand, which was now moving torturously slowly. Gee’s stomach tightened. ‘still.’ the word flickered, stamping all over the compartment in his brain marked ‘reasoning’.

“I want you, too.” he breathed, every nerve ending in his body twitching in agreement. “So bad.”

“You’ve got me. I’m- I’m right here.” said Frank, eyebrows knitting in a way which was somehow endearing, even with his dick pressed hard against his skinny jeans. Gerard closed his eyes and suddenly felt unsteady. He leant his full weight back against the couch, and Frank finally released his grip on Gerard’s dick, which was only partly a relief.

He wanted to just shut the fuck up and let this happen, like any other normal person would, but he couldn’t. If this shit was going to go down, he wanted it to be real.

“You’re drunk.” he repeated.

“So are you!” squeaked Frank, cheeks reddening. Gerard watched the sweat in his damp hair, and tried not to breathe in the metallic tinge to the air with all the blood pumping around. So he just shook his head.

“What?” Frank asked, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah you are.” he said, tapping Gee's shoulder, but he didn’t sound so sure.

“I can’t do this, Frankie. Not like this.”

“Oh.” said Frank, his face falling. Gerard’s chest ached like he’d been punched. “I-“ There was a moment of silence where they were just sitting there, Frank’s hand still resting on Gerard’s hip. Then something snapped and Frank took a swift but clumsy step backwards, standing up like a baby deer.

“I should go.” he said, searching the floor for his shirt which disappeared at some point, and swaying as he did so. Gerard went to get up, but the look on Frank’s face stopped him. Instead he pulled up his boxers and jeans and half-heartedly buttoned them.

Frank continued to stumble around in the semi darkness looking for his tee, and Gerard just watched him until he found it, and started to shove it over his head as he blindly headed for the door.

“Frankie, you don’t have to-“

“It’s fine, forget about it.” Frank slurred, stumbling over his shoes then grabbing his jacket from where he dropped it. And with barely more than a muttered goodbye, Frank was out of the door.

Gerard dropped his head into his hands as the door closed. He should probably make sure Frank got home okay. Follow behind him or something, but he couldn’t work up the energy. His eyelids grew heavy all at once; like he’d just run a marathon; like he could sleep then and there. His chest felt tight as he dragged himself up off the floor, so it wasn’t even a surprise when the tears started running down his face.

He cried into his pillow like a fucking eight year old. The weight in his head at least distracting him from the sharp hunger pulsing through him, or the bloom of hurt spreading through him, settling thick in his chest. He covered his mouth with one hand when he snaked the other down into his pants and jacked himself quickly, coming into the mattress in a matter of seconds. And he felt nothing but pathetic as the tears kept swelling in his eyes and dropping onto his pillow. He couldn’t even pull himself up to the bathroom. So it was by some miracle that he passed out on top of the bedclothes a while later, still half clothed and with his sneakers dangling off the end of the mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T e lll me how it's going? ?  
> ***  
> If you're reading this I love you dearly xo


	5. Lights on, Lights off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual drill, if it's a bit shit check back tomorrow i'll fix it xo

“Gee you’re defective, I swear.” muttered Mikey, shrinking under Kristen’s disapproving glare. “It’s true!” he said, peeling an orange carefully.

“Gerard you let him get you off-“

“No, I didn’t!”

“You let him _almost_ get you off, and then you get all 'responsible' when he tries to kiss you? Are you an actual mental patient?”

Gerard sulked on the couch, arms crossed and hoodie over his head, ignoring the buzz of the TV across the room. Kristen took pity on him, prodding Mikey as she passed.

“Gee.” she said, placing herself on the other end of the couch. “It’s not your fault, okay, but can you see how, like… Try and look at this from Frank’s perspective.”

“I didn’t want to take advantage of him.” Gerard cried, tugging his hood further over his face.

“You’re so fucking abnormal.” muttered Mikey, getting up from his spot and disappearing into the bedroom. Kristen glared after him.

"What your brother _means_ to say.” she said loudly. “Is that it doesn't look so much like you’re into him for _him_ when you let him… you know… but then don’t let him kiss you.”

“It’s like prostitutes." yelled Mikey from the other room. "Kissing is intimate.” Gerard groaned. Kristen gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his arm.

“If i’d kissed him I wouldn’t have been able to stop, and that’s not fair on him when he might not have known what he was doing.” Gerard snapped, burying his face in his hands. He was not about to cry over this with Mikey’s smug fucking ass in the next room. Kristen sighed and nodded, getting up of the couch.

“I know.” she sighed. “I think maybe it would be worth talking to him. Explain, you know. Now drink something, you’re pale as fuck.”

“Ugh, I drank yesterday.”

“Hey, you two, shut up a second.” Mikey said from the doorway, glass hanging from his limp hand. Kristen turned, ready to scold him, but faltered when she saw his expression. Gerard craned around and opened his mouth, but Mikey was already shushing him, eyes fixed behind them both.

“Turn that up.” he said, gesturing with his empty glass. Kristen bit her lip when she followed his gaze to the TV; stony faced reporter speaking fast into the camera. Gerard reached for the remote silently, uneasy sense of deja vu nudging at his mind.

_in light of these recent events the council have made the decision to enforce a temporary curfew of 11pm for all daytime citizens in the interest of safety. We would like to remind everyone to remain aware and keep together-_

No one said a word for a long while after the news channel had blinked onto a wildlife segment. The whole apartment felt tight, like the air was squeezing itself out through gaps in the windows. After what might well have been an age, Gerard’s eyes found his brother’s.

“Now they’ve done it.” Mikey breathed, breaking his statue-like pose and slumping against the fridge.

“That’s fucking horrific.” Kristen burst, voice slicing through the quiet. Gerard closed his eyes and pressed his knuckles into his sockets. “Mikey.” she said, pointing at the screen. “Mikes they can’t do that, right? This is- it’s a step away from, like, fucking segregation, Mikey.” she said, inflection tilting. For once, Mikey didn’t have an answer ready. He just shrugged, glass clattering onto the table where dropped it, and wordlessly walked from the room.

***

The phone rang when they were in the car, driving back to Gerard’s in the same silence which fell after Kristen finally killed the TV.

Mikey let it ring for a few seconds, then took a glance at the display, eyes fixing on the road again instantly as he pointedly threw the thing into the back seat.

Gee looked at him sideways.

“That was Mom-“

“Fuck her.” Mikey spat.

“Mikes, come on. You don’t mean-“

“Fuck her, fuck Dad. I mean it.” He pushed his glasses up his nose with vigour, slamming his hand back on the steering wheel with a sniff.

Gerard shifted in his seat, watching the lights blink out of apartment windows as they pulled away from Mikey’s street, and set to work on interpreting the slithering feeling sneaking into his abdomen.

They’d driven through two Vampire blocks when they noticed the first of the police cars. On passing the first two or three, Mikey’s lips simply tightened and Gerard sank further into his hoodie. On the fourth Mikey’s glasses had a telltale mist to them. By the time they were on Gee’s block, Mikey was as white as a sheet, knuckles pale against the steering wheel as they rolled up next to the apartment building.

Gerard gave him a long look before peering out of the window.

“Okay.” he said, useless lungs heavy in his chest. “Okay Mikes, I’ll see you- uh-“

“Soon.” Mikey said firmly. Gerard met his eyes for a last time and nodded.

“Yeah okay. Call me when you’re home.” and he was about to go for the handle, ready to step into the cool night air, but suddenly he found himself wrapped in the bony confines of Mikey’s arms.

“We’ll figure something out.” his brother mumbled into his shoulder.

Gee nodded and took a deep breath. Then he was outside, and Mikey was pulling away, and he just stood watching the tail lights disappear around the corner.

***

Two weeks later, Gerard had digressed to his original state; holed up in his apartment in a sweater he’d been wearing for just over half that time. Mikey wouldn’t allow him to risk a visit, and Frank hadn’t picked up a single one of his calls; nor the mopey voicemail he’d left at midday last week. He shuddered just thinking about it.

So now, he sat around the house painting morbid-looking jellyfish made from black rags; a burning ember in the centre of each. He couldn’t get the glow right, though, so he eventually gave that up too.

He couldn’t watch the news, he was scared of what he’d see. He couldn’t call his brother, because he and Kristen were at lunch with darling mother, so he sprawled on the couch, sifting through the random thoughts in his brain. After a nice few minutes of neutral images flashing behind his eyes, they started piecing themselves together in the shape of a particular set of hazel eyes, black hair swept over them in strands. He groaned and threw an arm over his face, because that wasn’t helping at _all._

He was alone, he was bored and he suddenly he was… hungry.

Weirdly enough, he hadn’t felt like eating once since he’d set foot in the apartment that night a couple of weeks ago. He hadn’t been that long without feeding in months at least, but now that familiar ache was spreading from his chest, snaking down his limbs and settling like a blanket. A fucking inconvenient blanket, because he had precisely no fucking food in the house.

Gerard pulled himself to his feet and scowled to himself, wandering over to the window. His block was empty, just like it had been every other night since the council decided to go all neo-nazi on the general population. He didn’t see a single vampire on the streets until well after human curfew. Curfew. The word was still alien to him.

He pulled in a shuddering breath and considered the pain throbbing through him against the risk of leaving his gloomy but predictable apartment.

Another hour or so gave him his answer when his vision started bleeding black at the edges and he catapulted himself into the hallway before he could give himself another choice.

10:31, his phone flashed at him.

“In and out.” he muttered. “Nice and quick.”

A good plan, in theory, except he failed to anticipate the utter shutdown of anything within a mile of his building. Turns out it wasn’t just regular citizens who were opting to stay home, it was store managers, waiters, everyone. He blinked around at the dark street, curl of fear flickering in his stomach. Maybe he should have checked the news before he came out in case something had happened. He shook himself. Mikey would have told him.

He was fifteen seconds away from turning right around again regardless, but the sharp thud in his stomach knocked him into moving forwards.

“Oh, fuck.” he mumbled. Then a thought struck him as he leant against a shopfront. Just a few blocks away there was a 24 hour store… It was right on the boundary between the vampire and human blocks, and it was one of the last ones for miles catering to both. Gerard had no idea if it was still open under the circumstances, but it was run by this little old man who bought all the stuff in from local sources and always had something nice to say, but he was also head to toe covered in tattoos and would probably beat the shit out of anyone who crossed him. Gerard figured if there was any place in this fucking city still open to him, that would be the place. Either way, it was his only chance.

He was fifteen minutes from his apartment now anyway and the dizziness was coming on fast. Fucking temperamental appetite, Gee thought, pushing himself off the wall and hurrying past a parked police car and down the street.

When he (miraculousy) reached the edge of the vampire block, he just stood for a moment and stared. The panic washed over him in one, two, three waves, because where there’d usually be a small blue street-sign indicating the start of a human block, there was a row of metal barriers. A small hinged gate opened over each sidewalk for pedestrians to pass, but cars were blocked off completely.

He felt like he’d been plunged in ice. Was this happening all over the city? It took another intense bout of dizziness before he forced himself to take a step forwards, eyes darting all over, scanning for people. There were one or two in a restaurant across the street, and a few further down, peering into a bookshop, carrying shopping bags, all seeming as if they were making their way home. None of them seemed concerned with what Gee was doing, so he swallowed and forced his legs to do their job, carrying him into the orange light of the 24-hour-store which, by some stroke of luck, was open after all. Not for long though, a scrawled sign on the door read _closing 11pm for curfew_.

Gerard was thoroughly preoccupied as he stumbled through the little aisles and loaded his arms with cool metal cans. He barely managed a smile at the owner as he rang his stuff up and handed him a sturdy bag in which to carry his stuff. Gee mumbled out a thanks and almost ran back out into the street.

As soon as his feet hit the sidewalk he tore open the tab of a can and punctured the plastic film with his teeth, lungs filling with useless air as the sharp metallic taste bloomed over his tongue and flowed into his stomach. He basked in the momentary warmth and felt his mind sharpening, the dizzy feeling ebbing away until he could see straight again.

Once he’d drained the can, he came to his senses, blinking around and taking in the stretch of ugly metal in front of him, splitting the road in two.

“This place is fucking doomed.” he murmured, running a black sleeve over his mouth as he prepared to make the trip home as fast as he could. He needed to get home. With a final glance over his shoulder he was about ready to go, but then a black smudge in his peripheral caught his eye and he froze, turning slowly to confirm what he thought he saw.

A figure was emerging from the bookshop behind him, head ducked over something in his hand, hair falling over his face. Even at a glance, and even at a distance, Gerard would recognise the tilt of that head, the careful curve of his spine when he was focussed over something.

Gee bit his lip and wavered next to the barrier. With a muttered curse he pushed himself forwards, heading towards the bookstore at an impressive pace. He could feel the new blood circulating and it was waking him up. He remembered why most normal vampires had regular fucking meals. The bag of cans rattled accusingly at him as he hurried further into the danger zone.

“Frankie?” he called when he came within distance, forgetting for a moment that- hey- not talking to each other because Gerard was an ass. The figure stopped, then turned around, and Gerard remembered the not-talking thing pretty fucking quickly when Frank’s surprised face morphed instantaneously into a tight-set jaw and hard eyes. “What are you doing here?” Gee finished sheepishly, eyes darting down to Frank’s hand as he slipped a small book into his pocket.

“I- Uh- Okay….” Gerard said when Frank’s mouth stayed firmly closed. “Since you’re here, anyway, I wanted to talk to you about… I’m sorry about what happened and I wanted to- uhm- explain.” Gee said, sounding way more pathetic than he’d hoped, but hey, he hadn’t fainted or something equally stupid, so…

Frank shifted on his feet, lips bunching up to the side. Gee could almost see the conflict in his eyes as he narrowed them at the half-empty stores along the street. Eventually he closed his eyes and swore under his breath.

“We can’t do this here.” he said, then turned on his heel and began to walk away without checking to see if Gerard was following. He could probably hear the clattering of his bag anyway. Way to draw attention to yourself, Gee. He pulled his collar up and glued his gaze to the sidewalk, keeping Frank’s heels just in view.

Gerard tried not to pay attention to the way the few strangers on the street not only dropped their heads, but openly skirted around Gee when they spotted his long black coat. Once again, no one was aggressive yet, but there was always time, Gee thought darkly. He sank his teeth hard into his lower lip and focussed on keeping up with Frank.

“What are you looking at?” Frank growled. Gerard’s eyes snapped up from the street. When he realised Frank wasn’t talking to him, Gerard thought his stomach might actually fall out of his ass.

“Frank, be careful.” he hissed as the victim of Frank’s outburst sidestepped them, whites of his eyes flashing as he virtually fled down the street. Gerard watched him go and turned a raised eyebrow on the scowl Frank was shooting forwards.

“He was looking at you.” he muttered, then fell back to stony silence. Gerard made sure he maintained a meter-stick distance between them as they drew closer to Frank’s apartment, crossing his fingers behind his back that that was their ‘one incident’.

“You’re so fucking stupid for coming out here.” Frank said after a while, throwing the words over his shoulder. The bite was bleeding from his voice at last. Gerard sighed and took a hurried step to fall in line with Frank.

“You weren’t answering the phone.” he replied, squeaking a little. He studied Frank’s face a subtly as he could, and almost brained himself on the sidewalk when he tripped on an uneven slab of concrete. Frank’s expression remained carefully neutral throughout this little escapade.

“You didn’t wanna kiss me.” he said softly with a shrug, like maybe it wasn’t even a big deal. Maybe it didn’t mean anything to him anyway. Gerard was nearly sprawling headlong again he pulled to a stop so fast. Frank paused when he realised Gerard was trying to, like, gather his bearings or whatever. He looked over his shoulder and sighed, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. 

“Not here.” he said quietly, beckoning with his whole arm. Gee snapped into action before his feet could catch up with him and he found himself, for the third time in thirty seconds, almost biting concrete.

He had to commend Frank on his businesslike expression, because aside from the odd glance up and down the street, he was resisting from laughing his ass off. This shit must be serious, Gerard thought glumly as he trailed a step or two behind Frank, back to his apartment.

They can’t have been a hundred yards from the building’s entrance when Gerard opened his mouth, but a loud snigger from their far left cut him off. Gerard almost dropped his bag of food, but didn’t have any time to do anything more productive when a voice followed the snigger. It was pitchy and gravelly at the same time, like a patchy drainpipe.

“Hey kid, you okay?”, it said, followed by a thick pair of boots and ugly brown coat stepping out from the maintenance alley by Frank’s building. Frank stepped fractionally to the side so his shoulder was just overlapping Gerard’s.

Gerard, reminding himself that now was _not the time_ turned his gaze on the man, standing there in front of the black shadow of the alley. His face was gaunt and he was so slight it looked like the wind could whisk him away. Gerard didn’t take this for granted though. The dude’s eyes were blown right out, and had a tinge of crazy to them which would no doubt make up for lack of physical strength if worst came to worst.

God, Gerard hoped worst didn’t come to worst.

They were so close. He thought distantly of the warm lobby of Frank’s apartment block. A thirty second sprint away at the most…

“What?” Frank said, voice pure steel. Gerard wanted to grab him. Tell him it wasn’t worth it. Do _something_ which wouldn’t render him a useless pile of garbage in this impending disaster. But he just stood there, peering out from behind Frank like some bizarre bird.

“I was just checking, you know? Just looking out for a fella, you know. ” the guy said, smile playing on his pale lips. They were thin. Almost blending into his pallid face. he sneered, pointing a knobbly thumb towards Gerard, who shrank back like the terrifying beast he was. Frank, however, drew himself up a final inch and a half which, yeah still didn’t give him much, but Gerard had seen Frank mad. Judging by the clench of his fists and the slight tilt of his head, Gee could tell from the back that he was mad, and it was a sight to behold. The guy had the decency to look a touch unnerved.

“What did you just say?” Frank said calmly. Way too fucking calmly. Gerard inched forwards.

“Just try’na help.” the guy said, shaking his uneasiness in favour of a maliciously curled lip and raised hands. Gee could feel Frank bristle like a porcupine. “I mean, you got this freak here following you and I wouldn't wanna see you on the news all chewed up like the other five-“

And for a shaky moment, Gerard thought he must be dreaming, because Frank fucking decked him.

The next moments were a blur. The guy reeled and Frank was cradling his hand and there was blood spattered of the sidewalk and the bag of cans was on the floor and Gerard’s eyes were like saucers. Before a single coherent thought crossed his mind, the guy was leering forward, snarl building on his lip as he shakily raised a fist, slinging it behind him like it could do some damage if he aimed right. Frank squared up like the stubborn fucker he was, and there Gerard stood, doing sweet fuck all, about to watch the prettiest face he’d ever seen get smashed in and-

“Hey motherfucker.” came a voice, which Gerard realised a couple of seconds too late was his own. Before his brain had been notified at all, his legs were moving forwards and he was all up in this guys face. His teeth flashed white as they unsheathed of their own accord and he hissed- like really hissed from the back of his throat like a cat- at this guy’s face.

They were locked there for a moment. Gee way too close, and this fucker’s fist wobbling by his shoulder. There was a dizzy moment- like a coin spinning on its edge- where Gerard thought that his fist would still fly; knock him clean out and then he’d go for Frank too. Useless, Gerard. Fucking useless. But then, of course, Frank piped up, bloody fist still cradled to his chest.

“Lay a finger on him and I _promise_ that you’ll be the one found chewed up in a park.” 

Maybe Frank looked tougher with blood smeared down his face, and maybe that paired with Gee's outright weird behaviour was just creepy enough to deter this guy. Or maybe whatever drugs were in his system were making him hallucinate Gee with four heads and Frank with a sharp red tail. It didn't matter, all Gee knew was that _something_ had the desired effect because the guy was narrowing his eyes and spinning himself in the other direction. 

Before he stumbled off into the road, he managed to spit at Gerard’s feet. Gerard watched the dark crevice between blocks where the guy disappeared, listening to Frank’s heavy breathing behind him.

“I can’t believe-“ Gerard murmured, turning around slowly. “That you just threatened to murder a homeless guy.” smile spreading across his face which he excused to himself as nervous laughter. “For me.”

Frank flipped him off and cradled his hand.

“Yeah, says you Captain Needle Teeth.” he muttered, eyeing Gerard and hiding the smile in his eyes admirably. Gerard, on the other hand, couldn’t stop grinning, because apparently random violent episodes from strangers brought that out in him.

“Let’s get inside, freak. This's been enough of a fuck up.” Frank sighed, bending to help Gerard with his scattered cans of blood. He finally threw Gee the ghost of a smile as he thrust the bag into his arms. They stood up together, then Frank nodded towards the light bleeding from the Lobby over the sidewalk. Frank, once again taking the lead, let Gerard trail behind him like a puppy.

They were silent in the lobby, and silent in the elevator, and all the way along Frank’s hallway. Gerard even kept quiet while Frank struggled with his sticky lock, and then they were in the kitchen and Frank burst out laughing. He held his hand close to his chest and just laughed while Gerard stared on in alarm. Frank laughed because he was a psychopath and Gerard absolutely shouldn’t be so invested in the laugh of a psychopath.

“Shit man.” Frank wheezed, leaning over, hands on his knees to catch his breath. Apparently Gerard was a little unscrewed too, because he was laughing, too. Stomach tight with it and his eyes were watering. Once they’d both calmed down they stood opposite each other, smiles fading to the slightest upturned corner of the mouth as their breathing evened out.

“Crazy fucker.” Frank said softly.

“Hey.” Gerard said, feigning indigence badly, because he kind of just sounded pleased. “I'm not the one pissing myself over a near death experience.” 

Frank snorted and then doubled over again. Gerard was bemused but relieved. Aside from almost getting beat up, this was better than silence by a long shot.

"Shut up, shut up." wheezed Frank, giggles trailing off at last as he leant against the countertop. "It's like- fucking adrenaline, man. Makes you weird."

"Makes  _you_ weird." Gerard watched Frank take a breath and calm the fuck down. "Hey." he said again, taking a hesitant step towards Frank, who raised an eyebrow. Amusement glowed in his eyes. They were like honey in the cheap kitchen lighting.

“Frankie, can I ask you something?”

Frank nodded slowly, wiping his eyes with his shirt.

“Have you, by any chance been drinking today?” he said a little shakily, because now he’d caught up, he realised where he wanted to take this, and there was no way he was smooth enough to pull off the delivery. Frank was looking at him, shaking hair from his eyes.

“No, weirdly enough.”

“Uh- Well- then I was wondering if it would be cool if, uhm-“ he took another shuffle step forwards and now Frank’s eyebrow was raised because Gerard was acting like a total freak. They’d just engaged in physical combat outside the apartment and now Gerard was being weird and he wanted to disappear because _why_ did he do this now? This timing was weird as fuck and Frank was probably still mad on top of everything else. He should quit while he’s ahead.

But he didn’t.

“If I just-“ he trailed off and reached a hand up to the side of Frank’s face. His fingertips brushed into his hair and it was so soft Gerard wanted more of that right fucking now.

The laughter had fallen right out of Frank’s eyes and now they were wide and somehow darker and his lips were parting like he was about to speak but Gerard shook the urge to find out what he was going to say in favour of pressing his mouth to Frank’s.

He froze for a moment, eyes closed as he felt Frank relax, and then move under him. Move closer, and Gerard’s heart would have broken its ribcage if it could move at all. Instead it felt kind of like it was writhing a little. Like it was made of a thousand tiny snakes. Weird.

The warm of Frank's lip-ring burnt against Gee’s cool skin and Frank’s lips were soft and kind of sweet when he began to kiss back. Gerard melted immediately when Frank’s tongue slipped over his lips once, then again and Gerard opened his mouth willingly, sinking into Frank like he’d wanted to the moment he laid eyes on him across that empty parking lot. He almost whined when Frank pulled back a little, but he was sated when his teeth sank lightly into Gee’s lower lip, tugging just hard enough to yank at Gerard’s insides. He gasped into the kiss and felt Frank smiling against him and finally pull away for real.

“I’m still mad at you, asswipe.” Frank said, and Gerard nodded happily, eyes fixed on the glisten to Frank’s lips.

“Fair enough.”

“And you almost just got me killed turning up like that.”

“Frankie, I didn’t mean to- I was just getting-“

“ And I really hope this-" Frank motioned between the two of them "-has nothing to do with that fucked up shit that happened outside…” Frank interrupted, turning around, business like, striding to the door and pulling the deadbolt with a clatter. “Because I don’t know how much more kinky shit i’ll be able to handle on top of those teeth of yours.”

Gerard watched him, lips parted, brain revving an backfiring over and over as the words sloshed around his head. The wicked smile on Frank’s face when he turned around started a fire somewhere in his cold chest.

“Gee.” Frank started again, arranging his expression. “I think it’s kinda dangerous for you to go out again.”

“I- Uh- yeah?” croaked Gerard. He resisted a face-palm, because for fuck’s sake, Gerard. He wouldn’t know allure if it bit him on the fucking neck. As if to prove it he coughed like a moron and Frank grinned, wolflike. Gerard's stomach dropped.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” he replied carefully, coming back into the kitchen kinda torturously slowly. “It’s probably best if you stay here tonight.” Frank said, cocking his head. “I don’t want you getting- uh- hurt.” 

“I- Frankie we don’t have to like, do anything right now, cause everything’s a little fucked up and I-” Frank had that smirk on again though. The one that killed all three of Gerard’s working braincells.

“I think it’d be best,” he said, and without a word, he was walking through the kitchen, across the living room, and into his bedroom, leaving all the lights off in his wake. “If you shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life.” he said, disappearing into the dark. “And I think you should know,” came his voice, still clear and low from the other room. “The couch is out of bounds… So you can sleep on the floor if you want, or you can get the fuck in here before I lock the door.” Gerard moved so fast he almost ran right into Frank in the darkened doorway, shirt glowing eerily white from the floor a few feet away in a beam of lamplight from the window. Gerard blinked at the shirt, and then at the expanse of skin in front of him.

“So?” Frank said. Gerard started.

“Huh?” he said sheepishly. Frank beamed.

“Floor or…”

“Here.” Gerard burst, way too fucking quickly. It made Frank grin wider though, so what was the downside, really? “Here’s good.” he said, softer. Then Frank’s hand was warm through the front of his shirt, finally pulling him over the threshold, into the dark room behind them.


	6. InBetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short it really can only be classified as half a chapter I'm sorry...

“Gee.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re breathing.”

“Sorry…?”

“No I just mean, “ Frank squirmed around, upsetting everything on the duvet and propped himself up on an elbow. Gerard rolled over to squint at him through the dark.

He'd woken hours ago to the ripping of duct tape, and Frank on his tiptoes sealing off the windows with black towels before the sun peaked over the horizon. By the time Frank turned around again, Gerard shut his eyes, feigning sleep. He waited for dip in the bed next to him and the rustling of sheets, only letting a smile creep over his face as Frank’s hand hesitantly slid over his waist.

They woke up again later, properly this time, and watched The Devils Rejects on Frank’s laptop with their legs tangled together and the thump of Frank's heart speeding up whenever their arms brushed.

It was nearer afternoon than morning now, and neither of them had suggested moving, so they hadn’t. The laptop was playing some weird music Frank had found and Gerard felt _warm_.

“You’re dead.” Frank said.

“Medically speaking.”

“But you’re breathing.”

“Oh.” Gerard ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, well, I used to think it was just habit, but apparently it flushes the lungs out and whatever. Zombies don’t breathe so they rot. Vampires do. We’re superior.” said Gee, corner of his mouth turning up slightly. Frank clutched a hand to his heart and fell back against the pillow, sucking air through his teeth.

“Never thought I’d fall for a bigot.” he said with an exaggerated grimace.

“Zombies aren’t real,” Gerard replied matter of factly, stomping on the stir Frank’s words had caused deep in his stomach. “mere human.” he added. Frank swatted at him and Gerard squealed, setting Frank off into peals of laughter. Gee listened to the beat of his heart ramping up and then steadying as he flopped down onto the pillows.

They were quiet for a while and Gee considered the way he could feel Frank next to him like he hadn’t noticed before. After a moment of Frank’s pulse washing over him like some weird sixth sense, he figured it must be new. Either that, or it was replacing the desperate hunger he used to feel whenever they came within three feet of each other, because that was definitely better. It wasn’t gone as such, just better. Comfy.

He turned and watched Frank’s eyelashes flutter against his cheeks when he yawned.

“Frankie.” he said. Frank turned and blinked at him, expression totally open and it hit like a punch in the stomach. “How are we going to do this?” he said softly. He looked right into Frank’s eyes and suddenly the sound of his heartbeat melted away, alongside everything else. Gerard wondered for a brief moment if he was having a stroke- recalling something he read about tunnel vision- but the thought passed when Frank reached a hand out to find Gerard’s.

“Do… what like us? I mean, me and you? Is that what you mean or did I-”

“Frankie.” Gerard said again, grinning like an idiot because seeing Frankie flustered was almost better than his bedroom eyes. Most of the time, it was cool that Frank was sure of himself where Gerard wasn’t, but it was kind of a relief seeing him a little fucked up over something.

“Yeah, I mean us.” he said, watching Frank’s expression, which remained sort of crumpled. “If that’s what you want?”

“Of course I do, fucker. I just… yeah. I don’t know how we’re gonna do it either. How are we gonna pull this off, Gee?” Gerard pushed himself forwards before he could second guess it and pressed a kiss to the side of Frank’s mouth. His canines pressed into Frank’s lower lip, clicking against his piercing. Gerard felt a shiver run through Frank under his hands and that was kinda fucking awesome.

“I wanted to kiss you.” Gerard breathed in place of an answer to his question. “That night.” he said when Frank raised an eyebrow. “So bad. I wanted to kiss you so bad, Frankie. I just wanted to be safe and stuff because I think I really like you and I just wanted-“ Gerard was cut off abruptly when Frank sat up and rolled over so he was pressing up along Gee’s side, hand resting on his chest.

“I know, motherfucker.” he murmured. “Teeth away, Vampire boy.” Gerard chose to ignore the blatant smirk in his voice. Instead, he did as he was told, then let Frank push him down onto his back. He moved his fingertips to Frank’s collarbone, resting them in the dipped skin and feeling the blood rush, sparking in his nerve endings when their lips met. Frank tasted like smoke and something sweet and the smell of iron was thick in Gee’s nostrils and he tried his best to breathe normally because the combination was way too good. Frank’s mouth was so warm it was suffocating. Whenever Gee flicked his tongue he could feel the goosebumps bursting over Frank’s uncovered skin.

After minutes, or maybe hours, of lazy making out, Frank rolled onto his back.

“Well,” he said, staring at the ceiling as he reached around for his Marlboros. “If I knew fucking you in the ass would make you want to kiss me I might have tried that a while ago.” Gerard squeaked at a bat-like pitch as Frank dissolved into smoky laughter.

“I wanted to kiss you before you- before we- fuck off, asshole.” he trailed as Frank giggled around his cigarette.

“We got some pretty shitty timing though, don’t we?” he said once he’d sobered. His gaze dropping to a magazine on the bed where he stubbed his cigarette and tossed it all to the floor. Gerard was too caught up on Frank’s face to remind him that scattering burning hot ash over his apartment floor might not be the best idea.

“Yeah.” Gerard murmured. Because, yeah. They did. “I don't want to drag you into shit, Frankie.”

“Hey,” Frank said, touching his fingers under Gerard’s chin. “I can handle shit.” he said with a smile, pressing forwards and dropping his voice. “And I swear, Gee, I wouldn’t change this for anything.”

“Yeah?” Gee whispered as Frank slipped his hand into the hair at the nape of Gee’s neck, pulling him closer and kissing him slowly. Frank shifted again until he was half on top of Gerard, circling his hips like the situation could escalate if they let it.

Frank ran his fingers over Gee’s shoulder and down his side, leaving a trail of heat Gerard swore could blister.

“Yeah, you’re like, you’re like my fucking best friend man.” he panted, straddling Gerard properly and running his tongue along Gee’s jaw, pulling back with a messy kiss. “You’re fucking weird and awesome and I totally- totally don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t met you.” he said, shamelessly rutting against Gerard’s leg while Gee’s head dropped back and he buried his fingers in Frank’s hair. Frank shifted and Gerard’s mouth dropped open, feeling Frank’s hard cock against his own. His back arched a little and he pulled their mouths together again. There was maybe a little more teeth than Gee anticipated, but Frank didn’t make any noises of complaint.

“Gee, can I?” Frank asked softly as he pulled back and shuffled down a little, fingering the waistband of his boxers. Gerard could barely gather the awareness to nod, but he managed it. Frank smirked and settled himself between Gee’s legs.

Gerard pulled a pillow behind his head and looked down at Frank, hair damp with sweat and sticking up from their whole day in bed. Their eyes met as Frank lowered himself, and for a moment he could feel them on the edge of laughter because he was pretty sure they’d both just remembered Frank’s comment last night likening Gee’s dick to a popsicle… but all traces of laughter were erased from Gerard’s mind as warm heat enveloped the tip of his cock and Frank sank down without much further ado. His tongue swirled on the upstroke and his cheeks hollowed as he dropped down again, further. If Gerard could melt, he would have done so then. He was gone already and barely aware of the breathy noises he was making, but Frank was. Amusement glittered in his eyes when he flicked them upwards a final time before closing them gently, eyelashes dark on his cheeks. Gerard wished he could just watch. Watch his pale skin slick and shining against Frank’s stretched lips. But he just couldn’t keep his eyes open with the electric warmth surging through his nerve endings. Frank’s tongue felt like a live wire.

Without the ability to visualise, Gee found Frank’s words swishing brokenly through his mind and that alone was more than enough. He couldn’t stop the shove of his hips whenever Frank swirled his tongue, and sucked Gee right into the back of his throat.

Gee could honestly say that it had never been like this; like it was with Frank. It wasn’t that he was vastly experienced or anything, far from it, but even in the most serious relationship of his life, he’d never had it like this. Since being bitten matters had gone from mediocre to bad. It didn’t matter what he did, what he thought about while his was spread out on his bed, hand on his dick. The curl in his stomach never seemed to wind as tightly, or snap with such intensity. But Frank…

Images of Frank above him last night, mouth shining with spit and sweat and his eyes squeezed closed when he came deep inside Gerard. The sound of his gravelly voice swearing on a crescendo when he watched Gee unravel beneath him…

“Frankie.” Gee breathed now, voice embarrassingly weak. “Frankie, I can’t- baby, please-“ he keened, hand finding it’s way into Frank’s hair as he came hard down his throat. Frank’s eyes opened as he bobbed once, twice, three times, mouth still warm and tight around Gerard until he was finished.

He pulled off with a wet noise and scrambled up onto his knees, watching Gerard’s chest rise and fall as he came down. When Gee cracked an eye, Frank had ditched his own boxers and his hand was on his dick, bringing himself off with quick strokes.

Gerard’s eyes widened and he reached out a hand before he could stop himself, because he hadn’t seen this yet. He’d seen Frank’s mouth around his cock las night, he’d seen his O-face, watched how much fucking hotter he could get as he fell apart, but this… he wanted to see this.

“Come here.” rasped Gerard, watching Frank’s eyes as he nodded fast, hair falling over his damp forehead. Frank shuffled forwards gracelessly, dropping his weight down onto one hand, right over Gerard. He rested his head on Gee’s shoulder so they could both see; both watch as his hand moved faster, twisting on the upstroke and moaning against Gerard’s skin whenever he did.

“Oh god, Frankie, look at you.” Gerard murmured as Frank’s teeth dug bluntly into his collarbone, jacking himself right over Gerard’s stomach. Gerard’s hand slipped down Frank’s back and over his ass. “Come on, babe.” Gerard whispered, turning his head so his lips were pressed into Frank’s hair. “I want to see it, Frankie. Wanna see you come all over me, shit-“ he said as Frank made a strangled noise, his muscles pulled taut under Gerard’s hand. “Fuck.”

He moaned Gerard’s name as warm wetness spurted over his stomach, chest, and some on his fucking neck, holy shit.

“Baby.” Gerard said, because there wasn’t too much else going on in his head. “Woah.”

Frank restrained from collapsing into the mess on Gee’s chest and flopped to the side.

“That was pretty intense.” Frank panted, one hand resting on his chest and the other curling up against Gee’s neck.

“Fuck yeah.” Gerard replied. “I could get used to that.” Frank giggled.

“Is that all I am to you, Gee?” 

“Oh, totally.” Gerard said, smiling and pressing a gentle kiss to Frank’s neck, leaving the faintest impression of his sharp teeth behind when he drew back. “Can I use your shower?” He wrinkling his nose down at his torso. Frank just giggled in his spaced out way and told Gee he could if he promised to come back, and Gerard smiled, and he promised. He was pretty sure the shower being situated in _Russia_ wouldn’t stop him finding a way back to Frank’s bed right now. He was glowing all over, and the warmth of Frank’s fingertips pressed into his hipbones was still buzzing on his skin like static. He could feel the touch everywhere.

“You know how that shit works, beautiful.” Frank drawled, lazily pulling a sheet over him and nestling into a pillow. “Though… I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t.” he added. Gerard flipped him off, then hovered to watch Frank’s eyes droop and his breathing begin to even out. Then he padded to the bathroom with a loose calm in his gut and a small smile glued to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is all okay for you so far idk?  
> ***  
> Hope you're all doing okay. If you're not, I hope you feel better.  
> ***  
> Listen to Heartbreak in Stereo right now, i'm obsessed. PS Don't Write, 19 and Florida Plates in particular <3  
> xo


	7. I'll Feel This Later

Gee was still feeling pretty fuzzy as his wet hair cooled to his skin temperature. He shook it out, spattering the mirror with droplets. He bit his lip and gave the empty glass a sideways glance as he pulled a towel off the rail and wrapped it around his waist. The metal of the handle was warm with condensation when he went for the door, letting cool air rush over him from the bedroom as the steam leaked out and dissipated in wisps.

Through the steam Gerard saw Frank’s hunched shoulders on the other side of the bed, his hand pressed to the side of his face. It took a moment, and the sound of his voice scratching through the quiet room for Gerard to realise that he was on the phone.

“I- Shit, fucking fuck.” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. Gee paused in the doorway, letting the last heat from the bathroom fade from his back.

“I _am_ sympathetic for fuck’s sake. I’m _disgusted_ , okay? I just don’t have any space here, I’m kind of… I kind of have my own stuff going on at the moment-“

A frown found it’s way onto Gerard’s face as he began to cross the floor. His feet were silent, leaving damp patches in their wake. Frank was shaking his head slowly when Gee lowered himself onto the bed and crawled over to lay a hand on his shoulder. Frank started and turned around, then flashed a distracted smile his way before and turning back to the wall.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said a moment later. Gerard moved to slide back off the bed, sensing that this maybe wasn’t a conversation he needed to overhear. Frank’s hand shot out, though, catching Gee’s bare arm and throwing him a glance to confirm that it was alright; he could stay.

Gerard didn’t hesitate to shuffle up against his back, snaking a hand around his waist and leaning there, leaching the warmth from his body. Frank slid a hand over Gerard’s so they were both resting over Frank’s navel, right above the line of stark black hair Gee knew was there.

“Claudia, don’t even fucking _think_ about calling me selfish- I-“ Frank let out a harsh breath on a hiss. Gerard tightened his grip around Frank and rested his head between his shoulder-blades, listening to the blood thrum through him above the tinny sound of the voice down the phone.

“God, that’s so unfair.” Frank said slowly when there was a pause. “I don’t know what you expect me to do? Do you not get that this bullshit sucks, but it doesn’t revolve around you?” he spat. Gerard closed his eyes and bit down on his lip to stop from doing something inappropriate like cutting in where he wasn’t welcome.

“For fuck’s sake, I’m sick about the whole thing, of fucking course I am, but you just gotta understand I can’t drop everything for you… even… I mean, can’t you crash with some friends or something?” Frank pulled his hand from Gerard’s and squeezed between his eyes. The high pitched noises from the other end of the phone screeched to a crescendo and Frank pulled his cell a few inches from his ear.

“That’s really not any of your business.” he said primly once the squeaking stopped. It was a tone so unfamiliar in Frank’s voice that Gerard almost had to double check that it really was him talking. “Well it’s not like you’d ever let me have a _conversation_ with you about it anyway- Don’t you dare deny it, we could have-“

There was a pause and Gee felt Frank’s muscles pull tight as he stared at his cell, displaying his home screen.

“Or just hang up.” he muttered.

After another second or two in silence he put the phone on his nightstand and let out a long breath.

“I’m an asshole.” he said, dropping his full weight against Gee, who began to run his fingers through the short hair at the base of Frank’s neck.

“What happened?” he asked softly, pressing a kiss to the bare skin under Frank’s hairline before pulling back. He finally looked like the meagre amount of sleep they’d had was catching up with him.

“You remember Claudia?” he said through tight lips. “It’s her apartment block. Some assholes torched it.”

Gerard’s mouth dropped open and his hand flew to cover it. Frank raised an eyebrow.

“Down to the fucking ground. Fire department didn’t show up until it was ashes, spread right up the street. Fucking insane.” he mumbled.

"Vampire block?"

Frank nodded sharply.

“And what? She needed a place to stay?”

Frank nodded again, back burning against Gerard’s cold chest as he stared at a spot on the wall.

“I feel like shit.” he mumbled.

“Don’t. If you don’t have room, then you-“

“I do.” Frank interrupted, hands making little gestures before dropping back into his lap. “You know I fucking do. If I was being halfway decent I could make it work, you know? It’s more… It’s like I don’t have room in my _head_. That makes no sense…” Frank laughed bitterly. “Shit.”

Gerard pressed his forehead into Frank’s back.

“I think I get it.” Gerard’s breath left a trail of goosebumps over Frank’s skin as he disentangled himself and shuffled backwards on the bed. Frank looked over his shoulder at the sudden absence and shifted to join him.

“I would help if I felt like it would do any good.” he reasoned. Gerard got the feeling it was more for Frank's sake than his own, so he just gave a small smile and pulled the guy down next to him.

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” he murmured anyway. “I know you would.”

“And then there’s _you_ and I want to be here in case you need any-“

“Frankie.” Gerard said, cutting him off before the end of that sentence caused Gee to have a blood-less aneurysm. Instead he reached over to press his fingers against Frank’s cheek until their eyes met. “I know you’d do whatever you could, alright?” he said, raising an eyebrow and smiling minutely. Frank’s mouth scrunched to the side a little and his eyes glittered even in the dim light and he was looking at Gerard with that fucking _trust_ on his face and Gerard was in love.

Simple as that.

He was in fucking love with a living human with pretty lips and piercings and a sharp tongue and the best taste in music of anyone he’d ever met and every time he went home from now on neither of them could be sure when they were going to see each other again.

He was in love with a boy he couldn’t hold hands with outside their apartments, couldn’t take out to dinner, couldn’t even go for a walk with if the sun was shining.

And it didn’t hurt yet, but it would. When he was lying in his bed tomorrow without Frank beside him and with the cold hanging in his apartment like a cloud, rolling off his own skin like an open freezer. Then he’d feel it. Feel Frank missing like he felt it the past two weeks when they weren’t talking, except now it would be worse. 

“Thanks, Gee.” Frank’s soft voice floated through his thoughts, and it was only then that Gerard realised he’d been biting the side of his tongue so hard he’d pierced the skin.

Yeah, he was going to feel this later.

Frank turned to face him and brought their lips together slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. As if they could just wake up together again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.

“This is so fucking typical.” Gerard breathed as Frank ran his hands down Gee’s sides and nipped at his collarbones.

“Hmm?”

“As soon as I find something that makes me happy, something has to get in the way and fuck it up, and-“ Gerard gasped as Frank’s warm tongue darted between his teeth and he licked a line from Gerard’s shoulder to his neck. “I- uh- I shouldn’t even complain because people are fucking- fucking dying and apartments are getting burnt down over this Frankie but all I can think about is- all I want is you.” he said, and Frank froze.

In the whole five seconds before he moved again, Gerard managed to work himself into fourteen different panics, every one of which shrivelled into oblivion when Frank shuffled up to face level and stared into Gerard’s eyes.

“How bad?” he said simply after a minute, and Gee had to suppress a moan in the back of his throat. "How bad do you want me, Gee?"

“So bad.”

Frank hummed and moved his leg, full weight pressing down until Gee could feel everywhere buzzing. Frank’s heartbeat slammed in his chest, bouncing through every one of Gerard's veins so he could almost trick himself that it was his own heart trying to break from its ribcage…

“You’re on my train list, Frankie.” He blurted, then scrunched his eyes up. Frank let out a surprised laugh at his dismayed expression and Gerard covered his face because he was such a fucking _freak_ , he wouldn’t be surprised if Frank broke this shit off before it even started.

“Forget it.” he mumbled from behind his hands. Frank laughed again, straddling his hips and sitting up for leverage. His hands scrabbled across Gerard’s.

“Come on.” Frank said. “Dude. Gee, I’m not laughing at you, sweetheart. Tell me what a train list is?”

“No, you totally are laughing at me!” Gee whined, petulantly hiding behind his hands, but Frank was totally paying him a ton of attention and he was loving every second of it.

”No, no, baby, I wasn’t.” he giggled then paused. Gerard could just imagine him biting at his lip ring to keep quiet like he did whenever they argued about something on TV, or when Frank used to let Gee choose what take out they were getting even though he couldn't really taste the food.

“Okay, I _am_ ," Frank conceded after a little silence. "but only because of your stupid cute face. Come on, babe. What’s a train list?” Laughter still danced in his voice as he tugged Gerard’s wrists away. Gee let him, scowling determinedly when he met Frank’s eyes, but the bastard just giggled again and Gerard melted clean into the bedclothes.

“It’s fucking stupid, I don’t know why I said that out loud.” Gerard replied.

“Tell me.” Frank said, blinking down at him. Frank’s contagious smile was shining full beam at him, his thighs burnt hot around Gerard’s hips, and like fuck he could deny him anything he wanted.

“It’s- Uh- Like, you know the underground. The vampire subway?” he began, sounding resigned, preempting more laughter from the beautiful boy sitting on top of him. For now, the asshole just nodded.

“Like… it’s too dangerous to go on alone, right? So a while ago I was just wondering who I would take with me, like, if I had to go down there… Not that you wouldn’t have a choice, obviously, it was more of a Desert Island deal I guess; hypothetical, you know?” he rambled, ignoring the amusement in Frank’s eyes. Gee dropped his gaze, so he missed the flash of something else flickering there.

“But anyway I guess I just realised there weren’t that many people who would, like, go with me, aside from my brother and this kid I knew in highschool… and then I met you and-” Gerard was cut off as Frank swooped down on him, crashing their lips together and burying both hands into Gee’s matted hair. He was still trying to mumble around Frank’s tongue for a second or two, but Frank pressed his body down and a moment later his shoulders relaxed. He let his fingers slide up Frank’s thighs, over his hips, around his back; just feeling him move.

Frank’s breath fluttered warm against Gerard’s cheek when he pulled back. Gee took a moment to admire the dark stain of charcoal under his eyes and the black of his pupils before he spread a hand over Frank’s back, drawing a sharp noise when he bit down ever so gently just under his jaw. It was something Gee recently learned was pretty effective when it came to knocking that famous smirk off Frank's face.

Ha. Thought Gerard. Who’s laughing now motherfucker.

He was about to say as much, but Frank’s nose was brushing up against his, forehead pressed to his cheekbone and time felt like it was stretching as they hovered there- barely a breath of space between them, just enough to anticipate what was coming next- and Gerard felt dizzy with it as Frank’s tongue finally parted his lips and just like that they were in motion again.

And the motion didn’t stop until his towel was long discarded and Frank’s boxers were in a sticky ball at the foot of the bed; after Frank had fucked him hard up against the headboard with their hands linked together, braced against the wall, and his teeth digging into the flesh of Gee's upper back. 

It only ground back down to a slow lull when they were collapsed on the bed side by side, breathing heavily in the dark. Weird how for Gerard, time didn’t really exist, but he could still feel it bending whenever Frank sucked the air right from his dead lungs.

Right now, though, Gerard wasn’t thinking about that. He was was busy contemplating how intimate it felt to simply hold Frank’s hand like this, all things considered. It shouldn’t feel like some kind of secret, but it did. Their fingers intertwined as they caught their breath and drifted out of that hazy place where it seemed like a long ass journey to form a sentence.

Frank was maybe a little ahead of Gerard on that count, because his face was turned, and it took Gee a second or two to register the words washing over him.

“Hmm?” he forced himself to shift his body, even though it crushed his arm at a weird angle. There was no fucking way he was letting go of Frank though, so he was willing to deal with it.

“I said I’d take any train for you any fucking day, bitch.”

“Charming.” slurred Gerard, eyes drifting closed for a moment. Then he scowled and they flew open again. “But it wasn’t so much about taking the _train_ , Frankie. Like, the train’s unimportant I was just using-“

“Hey asshole,” Frank interupted. “Shut the fuck up.” Gerard only pretended to look offended for a second this time, because most of his brainpower was taken up by the spikes of _happy, happy, happy_ on his skin.

“I wish we were somewhere else.” he whispered later, when Frank looked like he might have fallen asleep. Gerard knew he wasn’t, his heartbeat was still pumping away like a rabbit on speed, but Gee was giving him the option to pretend, if he wanted.

He didn't. His eyes fluttered open and he turned them on Gerard with a rare serene look on his face.

“Nah, we’re good right here.” he said. Gerard raised an eyebrow at him.

"Here. The place we almost get stabbed for trying to walk home together? We're fine here?"

“Yeah. It’s... tragically romantic.” Frank explained with a wave of his hand, like that was the most obvious thing in the world. “Isn't that kinda exciting?”

“Exciting?” Gerard repeated flatly.

“Yeah, sure, think about it.” Frank said, running his hand up Gerard’s arm and over his shoulder. Gerard’s eyes flickered over the ink; the _art_ there, and held back a sigh. What had he got himself into?

"We’re like Doomed and shit… It’s like…” Frank had his adorable thinking face on, which was always dangerous, but Gerard was content to watch him worry his lips between his teeth, showing off the line of his neck as he did so.

"Like motherfucking Romeo and Juliet. Except you don't like heights, and I'm pretty sure Juliet never snacked on dudes' blood.” he finished with a snap of his fingers.

“I bet she did.” Gerard said after he'd mulled this over, pressing up against Frank’s side like his life depended on it; like the thrum of Frank’s heartbeat in his head was addictive. Maybe it was. Maybe that was why he’d been here all along. Why Frank had been branded on his mind since the moment their fingers brushed in that old carpark behind a factory.

“You think so?”

“Mm, yeah. I aways thought there was something off about the ending. I think there’s a lost sequel out there full of undead madness.” he said, reaching to play with Frank’s hair because it was hard not to with it right by his face like that.

“Is that so?”

Gerard hummed. “The government are hiding it.” he said. “They don’t want us to know that Shakespeare was a total badass.”

“Hey,” Frank pushed at Gerard’s chest. “Shakespeare kind of _was_ a badass. Way ahead of his time, dude.”

“Fucking nerd.” Gerard laughed, nudging Frank’s arm with his nose and drawing back to watch the laugh lines deepen on his face as he flashed another blinding smile. When he leant over to kiss the side of Gerard’s mouth, then his jaw, then his neck, a low noise escaped Gee’s lips and right then he was pretty sure that he was addicted to a little more than just a heartbeat.

“I should go.” he whispered as Frank edged closer.

“Yeah.” Frank said, running a hand down Gerard’s pale chest. His tattoos stood out even in the semi-darkness, slicing lines along his arms and Gerard just wanted to _lick_ them. “I can take you?”

Gerard heaved a long sigh and finally sat up, sending Frank into a little heap on the bed since he refused to shift. Gee smiled down at him sadly.

“I should get to Mikey’s, it’s not far.”

Frank nodded in agreement.

“Shit’s getting a little crazy, I guess.”

“I should see him in case…” Gerard trailed off. That thought was kind of redundant anyway. They both knew what he meant. Frank didn’t mention it. Maybe he could sense how Gerard was just trying to psych himself up; how much he would love one more walk with Frank before they were plunged back to reality. “And it’s dangerous.” he reminded them both, echoing the stern voice in his head.

The next second, Frank’s arms were around him and they were kneeling up in this weird hug, both of their knees wobbling a little on the squidgy mattress.

“We can do this, motherfucker.” Frank squeaked into Gerard’s neck and Gerard just squeezed him twice as hard and nodded, breathing in Frank’s hair and their sweat and that ever-present curl of metal which was just one more thing he was going to miss in his musty apartment.

“One day we can be, you know.” Frank said a little later, as they arrived, clothed on Gerard’s part, by the door. For once, he looked sheepish, eyes glued on the tatty rug which had ‘Fuck Off’ sewn along the top. He stood there with his hands resting by his hips like he wanted to put them in some non-existent pockets, and without even trying, he was beautiful.

“Can be what?” Gerard asked, draft seeping in from the open door behind him.

“Somewhere else… if you wanted?” Frank mumbled, looking up at Gerard from under his eyelashes and his shoulders were hunched together like he was cold even though Gee leaving had probably just raised the temperature in his apartment by about 80%.

“I hope so, Frankie.” he replied, earnestly. Because he did hope so, and it felt like there was a knife twisting in his gut because he didn’t know how or when or if at all, but he wanted it. With a final smile and mumbled goodbye from them both, he turned to go. On his way out of the door he spun around and planted a chaste kiss on Frank’s mouth, gripping his shoulder for a moment and revelling in the shock of heat bursting through him at the contact. Next minute, before Frank could react, or maybe drag him back inside again, Gerard was gone.

Halfway to the elevator, “Be safe, asshole.” drifted down the hallway and despite the settling ache in his chest (and other places), he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry kind of short and I don't know if this was kind of boring? Like it was fun to write but sorry if it's a little uninteresting to read I know not much happens.  
> ***  
> Love u with all my heart  
> xo


	8. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NOT checked this for mistakes/repetition yet plz 4give or come back tomorrow i'll have sorted it xo  
> ***  
> Sorry for the wait, too!

Three newspapers hit the table one after the other. Kristen closed her eyes at the noise. Mikey leant back against the counter and pointed to the papers. Gee blinked at him, and then blinked at the articles circled in black.

“What’s this?” he asked, hands clasped together in his hoodie pocket.

“It’s a fucking death sentence.” Gerard looked up at him again. Mikey was avoiding his gaze.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Gee, we think it would be worth considering- ” Kristen began, she fell silent as Mikey held up a hand.

“Read them.”

“I don't get why you can't just-“ Gerard petered out when his gaze skittered over the first headline. His stomach dropped and he stepped forwards, picking the papers up one by one.

“The state just banned blood clotting agent ‘without prescription’.” Mikey echoed the words jumping off the page in Gerard’s hands.

“They can't. No blood clotters means…”

“No food.” Mikey finished. His usual monotone had flattened to a grim mumble. “Plus doctors getting paid under the table, unapproved bullshit getting sold when people get desperate. People could end up in jail for trying to _eat_. This is the last fucking straw, Gee.”

“Import of silver’s increased by like thirty percent.” Kristen added in a small voice, ignoring the look Mikey shot her. “My uncle’s on the council.”

Gee shook his head and made a couple of failed attempts to translate the cold shock in his stomach into words.

“That doesn’t make sense.” he tried eventually, dropping the papers back onto the table with a dull flop. “On what grounds has the state put a ban on our fucking-“

“Don’t you get it?” Mikey snapped. “They don’t _need_ grounds. All they need is a pile of money in a governor’s pocket and enough fear mongering bullshit to plaster on TV that the public don’t question them until it’s too late.”

“That’s so… This isn’t a… a fucking YA novel.” Gerard replied with a forced laugh.

“You’ve got a half inch of fang either side of your mouth and you’ve been medically dead for nearly a year.” Mikey said stonily. “Look around, Gerard. Grow up.”

The words stung a little, but Mikey was right. Kristen sighed and the sound was distant in Gerard’s ears.

“So… no food.”

“No food.”

“I mean, the alternative is-“

“Too dangerous.” Kristen said. “Feeding off humans is too dangerous. Don’t even think about it.”

“Who exactly did you have in mind anyway?” Mikey sneered before Gerard could open his mouth with a retort. The accusation lacing his voice hinted at more than just a sarcastic comment. 

A flash of hazel eyes and ink-ridden skin flashed hot behind Gee’s eyelids. He hung his head.

“No one.”

Mikey let out a breath and nodded. Gerard’s was too busy tracing patterns on the floor with his eyes to notice his brother exchange a glance with Kristen.

“Gee,”

He looked up.

“Before you got here we were talking and we thought- We just think it might be worth-“ Mikey faltered and Kristen stood from the table to stand behind him, hand resting on her boyfriend’s arm as they both looked at Gerard with those pitying eyes that he couldn’t stand.

“We thought it might be worth looking at some options away from here.” she finished for him. 

“You mean _move_? Like, out of the city?”

Gerard’s expression must have reflected some of the horror he was feeling, because Kristen stepped forwards, transferring her calming hand to Gee’s arm instead. It didn’t help.

“Think about it." Mikey said from behind her. "I want you to be happy, Gee. You can’t be safe or fucking happy when the fucking council are…” he shoved his glasses up his face and shook his hair out a little, like it could refresh his train of thought. “Look, we can come see you. Maybe we can even look at places too, when we can scrape the money together.”

“And you think _i’ve_ just got that kind of money lying around?” Gerard squealed. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the cartoon shit isn’t exactly raking in the fucking cash. All my main clients pulled out months ago. The network pay fucking pennies. Mikey, you know this…”

“Don’t freak out.” Kristen said. “You don’t have to make a decision right now we just-”

“I don’t know why you’re making a big deal anyway.” said Mikey with a sigh. His shoulders were hunched almost to his ears, arms crossed over his chest. Even his hoodie looked more uptight than usual. “You’ve been bitching about getting out of here for ever. Now you've got a reason.”

“Yeah maybe but my life’s here. Everyone’s here.”

“Who, Gee?” Mikey said, and Gerard wanted to take a step back, because he’d never seen Mikey like this. His jaw was tight and hands clenched and Gerard’s usually mild brother looked like he was wound tight enough to burst. “Seriously.” he pressed. “Tell me? Mom and Dad might as well live in Australia, don’t fucking deny it. You don’t have any highschool friends. Me and Kristen would catch a plane any time we could if you moved away and you know that. Who’s left, Gerard?”

Kristen was biting her lip, wide eyes pinging between the brothers. Gerard’s mouth was open as his thoughts raced. There was a long moment as he stared into his brother’s eyes behind their misty glasses and he knew this was his chance to tell them where he’d been going every weekend. Who he’d been ditching their family breakfasts for, and whose calls were so urgent he would abruptly leave the dinner table whenever his phone rang. No exceptions.

The silence between them was thick and expectant and Gerard took a breath. Maybe it was time. Maybe this whole drama was worse than the reaction he’d been fearing anyway…

“There’s no one else, Mikey.”

His voice was small and full of uncertainty and he could feel the air rush from his brother’s lungs as he realised that this wasn’t getting anywhere. Gerard silently apologised.

A sliver of metal on red lips and shock of black hair flickered at the back his mind and he shook himself.

“Who’s to say it’s any different elsewhere anyway?” he asked meekly once the silence had stretched far enough.

“Apparently it’s not great on this side of the country.” Mikey admitted after a deep breath. He spoke slowly, accepting the change of topic word by word. “But the west coast is meant to be totally progressive. Seriously, like better than here ever could be.”

“I don’t know, Mikes that’s a long way- We’re not even sure-“

“Will you just look into it for me?” Mikey said. The tension was leaking from his shoulders as he rubbed his fingers under his glasses. “It’s the least you could do.” he added, and the words were full of weight Gerard wished he could ignore. Instead he just nodded.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll look... Just... You didn’t talk to Mom or Dad about any of this…?”

“Like they’ve ever cared what was best for you.” said Mikey. His face softened when he saw Gerard recoil. “I just meant… No. I haven’t spoken to them. We, uh, had a falling out.” he said, lips quirking.

Kristen sniggered and began to clear glasses from the table. Mikey's shoulders slumped. For now, the tension was broken.

 “Most uncomfortable meal of my life" Kristen muttered to the dishwasher.

***

The phone rang early the next morning. First the house phone, which Gerard ignored, then his mobile, which he almost did... but then the caller ID flashed up and he didn't have the heart.

“Gerard, the news-“ Frank's voice tumbled from the speaker before Gerard had time to open his mouth. 

“I know.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You need anything?”

A thousand thoughts buzzed through Gerard’s mind before he sighed and mumbled “No, Frankie. Thanks though.”

“You’re home, right?”

“Yeah. I guess I should sleep I mean, sun’s up in an hour but-“

“Good, I’m outside.” Interrupted Frank. Gerard was still for a second while his brain ticked over, then he cursed and hopped off the couch to the window, where, lo and behold, a short, Frank-shaped figure was hurrying along the sidewalk.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” Gerard breathed, leaning his head agains the glass. Another few yards and the figure waved. Gerard could almost make out the cocky grin on his face from his top-floor apartment.

“A dedicated idiot.”

“Get the fuck up here.”

***

“Back up.” Frank said, once again sprawled on Gerard’s couch with a bottle of something brown. “You can hear my fucking… emotions?”

“No!” Gerard said. “I just… I don’t know. Recently I can kind of feel it when you’re like… stressed or excited or…” Gerard paused. “It’s your pulse. It speeds up and slows down and whatever. So I hear your _blood_ , not your emotions.” he said, laughing when Frank scrunched his nose.

“Gnarley.”

“Totally.”

“You sure you can’t, like, read my mind?” Frank asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I fucking wish.” Gee snorted. “Nah, It’s like… you know if you focus- or if it’s quiet- you can feel your heart beat.” Frank nodded. “It’s like that. I always know when you’re close to me. It’s weird. I’ve never been able to feel anyone else’s like that.” he said, gnawing on his thumbnail. “Not even Mikey.”

Frank watched him watch a pigeon flutter from the window and fall into the sky.

“I’ve got kind of used to your weird ass, you know?” Frank said softly, reaching a hand up and bringing Gee’s gaze back to where he was lying.

“Then you’ll get used to my weird ass being gone.” Gee said after a breath. Frank’s smooth expression caved.

“Don’t fucking say that, man.”

Gerard shrugged. Pinpricks of something bitter were blooming over his chest; spreading and settling like smoke.

“It’s best this way, I guess.” he muttered. Frank shifted properly this time. Taking a disproportionate amount of time and movement to manoeuvre himself into a sitting position.

“Best what way?” Gerard finally turned his head and met Frank’s slightly unfocussed eyes. He wasn't out of it yet, but Gee could feel the pace of his heart pitching and a sour edge creeping into the metallic air. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with it before he sighed and leant over to press a lopsided kiss to Frank’s lips. Frank didn’t pull back, but it didn’t wipe the frown off his face.

“Can we not do this now?” Gerard asked. Frank was silent for a long moment. A crease was fixed between his eyebrows as he lowered his bottle onto the floor.

“Why not?”

Gerard bit his lip and the words strained in his throat, catching somewhere before they reached his tongue, so he replaced them for easier ones.

“Because I’d rather kiss you now, if that’s okay.”

He spoke quietly, and he hoped Frank was somehow reading the look in his eyes; understanding that this wasn’t a brush off, even though it kind of was.

He let his eyes drop to the glint of Frank’s lip ring and before a reply could leave those lips Gerard was pressing them against his own. His hand buried itself in Frank’s hair and he ignored the tightness wrapping around his lungs as he shuffled closer. He moved at Frank's slow pace even though the build in his gut was begging for so much more.

“Please.” he whispered when he pulled back and saw the question rising in Frank’s eyes. He brought his hand down and fisted it in the front of Frank’s tee. “Later.”

Frank's lips were in a confused little line and his heart was hammering right under Gerard’s hand, but, at last, he nodded. Gerard spared him half a smile before crashing their mouths together again. Frank barely had time to settle into the rhythm of it this time before Gerard was moving again, and the lost look on his face as Gee shuffled out of his reach was almost enough to make him feel bad.

Evidently, though, not quite enough.

He pecked soft kisses all over Frank’s bewildered face before sliding downwards. His muscles felt so tight as he slithered onto the floor between Frank's legs. It felt as thought they might snap his bones clean in half. He moved fast, nudging Frank's knees apart as he fit himself between them. One foot knocked over the bottle of JD and Gerard lazily pushed it across the carpet, ignoring the mess seeping a trail in its wake.

Gerard snaked an arm around Frank and pressed his hand flat against his lower back, pulling him to the edge of the couch. He threw a dark glance up from under his hair, and Frank’s open mouth and small nod told him what he needed to know. He made quick work of Frank’s pants, pulling them out from under his hips, over his knees and to his ankles where he left them. He didn’t hesitate to graze his teeth along Frank’s inner thigh, not sheathing them or covering them with his lips like he usually would. Frank shivered; hot under his mouth.

Gee didn’t quite press hard enough to draw blood, but Frank’s breathing was ragged, and when Gee nipped the soft skin at the join of his leg he moaned. Gerard repeated the action, bringing slender fingers to wrap around Frank’s hardening cock.

“Gee are you sure you’re okay to-“ Frank broke off with a gasp which rattled Gerard’s ribcage as he pressed his lips to the tip of Frank’s dick, canines clicking back into his jaw with a faint gristly crack. Not the most attractive sound, but Frank went limp underneath him so he was cool to go with it. He went down slowly, letting his tongue move; taste the sweat and warmth and _life_ that he wanted so badly. Gerard pulled off quickly, spit stringing from his lips as he flicked his gaze to meet Frank’s, who looked like his brain was just catching up.

“Are you okay?” Frank breathed, hand hovering over Gee’s jaw. Gerard cocked his head and wiped his sleeve across his mouth because he didn’t want to think about the answer to that question. He smiled crookedly and ducked back down. Frank’s hand flew to tangle in his hair, and it was probably an attempt to stop him, to talk, but the attempt died in a keening noise and fingers tightening against his skull and right now Gerard didn't need to talk. He needed  _this._

“I’m gonna need you to fuck my face, Frankie.” he said when he next sat back, trying to control his heaving chest. He dug his fingertips into Frank’s hipbones, watching the skin erupt into tiny bumps under him, and this time there weren’t any questions.

His lips quirked up as Frank’s head dropped against the couch cushions and he sank back down again. Gerard was quick to lose himself in the drag on his tight lips and the tugs at his hair in time with Frank’s messy thrusts. Everything from Frank’s perfect needy noises to the ache building in Gerard’s jaw was jolting through him like a drum beat. He let the blood rushing everywhere under him roar in his ears - keenly aware of the millimetre of space between his sheathed teeth and Frank’s skin.

His spit was cool, dripping from his chin and warming wherever it made contact with live flesh. Angling forwards, he relaxed his throat until his nose was brushing the dark hair at the base of Frank's cock. Gerard worked his tongue up along the underside and he sucked his cheeks in sharply around the head. Frank was leaking right over his tongue and he could taste it like he couldn’t usually taste anything and he felt his dick pulse in his jeans. He didn’t move against the couch though, just closed his eyes and kept his focus where he needed it; on Frank’s fingers slipping along his cheek, feeling himself moving in and out of Gerard’s mouth. The shake of his thighs; almost resting over Gerard’s shoulders as his muscles tensed, forcing himself as far as he could go.

One more glance upwards and Gerard hummed low in his throat. Frank’s head was thrown back, one arm thrown along the back of the couch, steadying himself as he pushed his hips up off the cushions. The other arm dark with art, reaching towards Gerard’s face where his fingers were slick with Gerard’s spit and his pre-cum and even from this angle Gerard could see the O of his mouth. Forming the ghosts of words before falling slack, again and again. 

He pressed his tongue flat against the shaft once more, swirling as he reached the tip and Frank’s panting collapsed into a cascade of breathy noises as he bucked his hips erratically into the back of Gerard's throat.

“Gee-“ Frank gasped, breath ragged and fucking amazing as he pulled at Gerard’s hair. Gerard sucked Frank down once more before pulling almost all the way off and resting his hands on Frank’s hips as his whole body contracted and he shot into Gerard’s mouth. He only opened his eyes as he swallowed once, twice, three times and sat back onto his legs, bathing in Frank’s gaze as he came back down. Something like disbelief was shining in his eyes.

Gerard didn’t give him a chance to vocalise; sliding up into his lap and pressing a dirty kiss to his half-open mouth.

He pushed his hand hard up under Frank’s shirt as he broke away with a wet noise and held it in the centre of his chest- the thump of his heartbeat vibrated through him as he let Frank tug at his belt. When he'd managed to prize it open and nudge his underwear down enough, Gerard batted his hand away.

“Just watch me.”

He clawed his hand on Frank’s chest hard enough to leave little crescents as he began to pump himself. Frank’s lips were wet and shimmering as his eyes flicked between Gerard’s face and his hand moving fast between them. After a few moments of the noise of slick skin and heavy breathing, Frank’s hand hovered in the air and tentatively settled at Gerard’s hip, demanding nothing, just holding him there. Gerard's skin fizzed and something inside him felt like a tub of pop rocks might have exploded. Three strokes later he was groaning Frank’s name too loudly and striping Frank’s tee with white.

They stayed quiet as Gerard tipped himself forwards into Frank’s arms, ignoring the mess between them and kissing him deeply. Minutes passed and the kisses softened. Frank’s lip ring was warm against his tongue and he wanted to feel this for infinity: Frank’s arms gentle but secure around him and a hot aching burn slicing the cold skin of his cheeks as they made out.

Gerard nipped at Frank’s bottom lip a final time before resting their foreheads together and just breathing.

“Can we talk now?” Frank mumbled after what might have been an age. Gerard rolled off him and flopped into the couch cushions. He kicked his jeans onto the ground and tugged his boxers back up.

“Tomorrow.” he croaked, grinning when Frank’s eyes widened at the sound of his voice. Frank just scowled and ran a knuckle over Gerard’s throat.

“What are you doing?” he asked quietly, pupils blown with the booze and the orgasm and probably mainly the darkness.

“I don’t know.” Gee replied and reached for Frank’s hand, because he really didn’t. He didn’t want to _have to_ know.

Frank watched him for a long few seconds, then sighed and leant forwards, nuzzling his nose against Gerard’s neck before pressing a gentle kiss there and pulling back again. Next he stepped out of his jeans and shakily got to his feet. Once he seemed sure he was upright he held out his hand and gave a nod towards the bedroom when Gee tilted his head.

“Just tell me when you do, yeah?”

Gerard smiled up at him and gave a small nod as he let himself be tugged off the couch and across the living room.

“Yeah. Thanks Frankie.” he whispered as they made it into the pitch bedroom and crawled onto the bed, barely separating for long enough to climb under the duvet. His voice was so horse he didn’t know if Frank had even heard him. Gerard felt his warmth press up against his back, pulling him close, and he wasn’t awake long enough to repeat himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM NOT A GOOD SMUT WRITER THIS IS A HOBBY LEAVE ME ALONE  
> ***  
> Al so not much is happening I am sorry ?? ?


	9. I Mean This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS USUAL if it's really shit just stop reading and come back tomorrow when i've sorted repetition and all that fun stuff.  
> ***  
> I have no idea what this chapter even is. Honestly. No clue. And it's too long. Sorry...

“I’m sorry, kid.” the shopkeeper said again. “Last of it went this morning.” Gerard blinked at him from the end of the aisle where he stood in front of an empty set of shelves.

“And… what, there’s no more coming?” he said after a moment to process. The guy behind the counter pressed a thumb to his fang and gave a sigh.

“Suppliers have pulled out. There’s no more coming. You can try down the street but I think everyone’s in the same-“

“I’ve tried down the street.” snapped Gerard, playing with his hoodie sleeves anxiously. “I’ve tried everywhere, man. What am I meant to eat?”

The guy shrugged. “Same as the rest of us. Whatever you can find.”

And that’s why Gerard ended up back home on his bed with his laptop shining too bright in his eyes, scanning articles and researching ticket prices and generally soaking in misery.

At last there was a bleep on his screen and a congratulatory message displaying ‘PURCHASE MADE!”. He refreshed the page, as if this time it might show something different, that the booking was cancelled, that his card was declined. Something. But all it did was flash the same loud writing across the screen. His inbox chimed, probably with a receipt.

Finally Gerard broke away, squeezing his eyes shut.

It had been two weeks since Mikey had asked him to do this. Two weeks since he’d fled Frank’s apartment late in the evening, refusing to face the conversation he knew they had to have sooner or later.

As usual, he chose later.

Frank had called, and Gerard picked up, for the most part, but he always made an excuse before they’d really got anywhere. He ignored the sting of hurt in Frank’s tone whenever they said goodbye. Then he’d push his mind into comfortable blankness as he jacked himself off in the shower- the echo of Frank’s voice fading under the pattering water.

Now, though, his phone was silent on the other side of the room, and countless tabs strung along his desktop, including the aggressively cheerful page in front of him, and this time there was no going back.

“Fuck.” he whispered. His stomach gave a twang as he shoved the laptop across the bed and got to his feet. He could feel the stress knotting in his shoulders.

He wandered around the apartment a couple of times, tried to draw, tried to paint, but ended up back in his room, staring at his phone from across the bed.

“Fuck.” he muttered again. “Fucking fuck.” He reached for the cell and flipped it open, dialling a number he knew off by heart.

***

Frank’s apartment was, as ever, a sauna. Gerard dumped his coat over the back of the couch and then flopped down himself. Frank padded over from the window and settled himself against Gerard’s side.

“So you’re really going?” Frank said in a small voice. Gerard tightened the arm he’d draped over Frank’s shoulder and nodded.

“Tuesday.”

“Fuck.” Frank said, rolling his head back into Gerard’s neck. Gee looked down at him. His eyes were closed. His hair was all fucked up since Gerard had kinda been a dick and woken him up- but neither of them cared. Frank’s sweats hung low in his hips as he stretched his legs along the couch and pressed his nose against Gerard’s skin. He was warm and sleep-dazed and Gerard’s stomach dropped as the reality of leaving slapped him in the face.

“I don’t wanna go, Frankie.” he muttered into his hair. Frank twisted around and pushed a finger to the sensitive skin under Gerard’s hipbone.

“You’ve got to.” he said firmly. It was true, but it sure as fuck wasn’t what Gee had been wanting to hear. “And, Gee, I’ve, uh, been wanting to talk to you about what we’re-“

A sharp ringing from Gerard’s pocket cut him off. Frank raised an eyebrow at Gerard’s apologetic look.

“One moment, baby. It’s Mikey.” he said, scrambling off the couch, already bringing his cell to his face.

“Yeah, sure, take the bedroom.” Frank muttered resignedly from behind him. Gerard was already halfway there, and he chose to ignore Frank’s sarcasm as he closed the door behind him.

Gerard was still flicking nervous glances at the closed bedroom door fifteen minutes later. They’d been going around in circles since Mikey announced “So, the wedding on Saturday…” in lieu of a greeting.

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea.” Mikey said mildly. The same as he’d been saying since he put the idea to Gerard.

“Good thing it’s not your choice, then. If i’m invited, I’m going.” Gerard replied, replicating his brother’s calm tone. “My flights are booked for next week, by the way.”

Gee wasn’t sure whether he was trying to change the subject, or manipulate his brother into relenting.

“Shit! Fuck, Gee, good job, dude. Where did you decide on in the end?” Mikey said, Gee could hear his smile over the phone.

“Don’t sound too disappointed.” he grunted. Mikey ignored him. “Uh, Florida.”

“Florida?”

“Yeah.”

“Florida’s not on the West Coast.” Mikey said slowly, like he was addressing a five year old. Gerard sighed.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been looking into it and apparently they’re just as… liberal down there. No clotting bans or sliver fences or that shit and… I’d rather be closer to home anyway.”

Another pause and Gerard felt the irritation fizzing inside him. “I mean, I could move to fucking Russia if it would make you more comfortable but-“

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Mikey said blandly. “No, it’s good! That’s great that you’ve found somewhere. Besides, it’s only gonna be for a little while, right? Just until shit up here blows over.”

Gerard nodded glumly before realising that Mikey couldn’t see him.

“Yeah.” he said. “So, anyway, my point is, I want to see everyone before I go, and they’ll all be at the wedding.”

“Gee they’re all fucking awful. Is it worth risking your _life_ to see them. I mean, you’ll be back in a few months anyway. ” That was dramatic and they both knew it, but Gerard couldn’t be bothered to get into a fight over this.

Mikey had been pushing this ‘temporary vacation’ kind of idea on Gerard ever since he’d brought up leaving. At this point, Gee wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to actually believe it or not. Mikey wasn’t stupid. He had to know that this shit in the city wasn’t just going to “blow over” in a week or so. He rubbed at his eye and yawned.

“It’s a private party, Mikey. On _private_ property. How dangerous can Cousin Anne’s wedding _possibly_ be?”

There was the tell-tale rattle of a world weary sigh down the phone line and Gerard pursed his lips in preparation.

“I think you’d be better off staying home, but it’s up to you.”

“Then i’ll see you there.”

Another pause.

“You do know it’s me and Kristen’s anniversary that day?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Are you seriously trying not to let me go.”

“Gee, it’s not a case of me _letting_ you do anything. I’m telling you my opinion, and my opinion is that it’s an entirely fucking dumb idea to put yourself out there when you’re so close to getting the hell out of here and-.”

Gerard hung up on him.

“Hey.” Frank said from the doorway, breaking Gerard from his long stint of staring a hole into the carpet. He looked up and was met with a fond gaze.

“Hey.”

“Family event?”

“I figured I’d go…” Gee said with a nod. “Last chance and all that.”

“Right.” Frank nodded, warm eyes painting lines all over Gerard’s face as he stepped into the room. “Last chance in a little while, maybe.” he corrected. Gerard closed his eyes. Sure. Just for a little while.

Frank let out a long whistle. “You ever been to Florida?”

“No, but uh- it’s meant to be better, it’s meant to be-“

“Sunny.” Frank finished, that same kind glow in his eyes. Gerard smiled at his knees and nodded. “Anyway… I’m glad you’ll be kind of close.”

Wind whistled through the windowpane and Gee was sure he could feel the temperature in the room drop a degree or so.

“There are police at the barriers.” Frank said eventually when Gerard didn’t reply. The heat died in his eyes as he spoke. His lips gave a little twist like they did when he was admitting something embarrassing or asking for help with the microwave he could never fucking work. Gerard’s brain did a 360 from thoughts of painting palm trees to send to Frank and screeched to a halt.

“Police?”

“Armed.” Frank confirmed with a sad nod. He crossed the rest of the distance to the bed and sat next to Gerard, who went back to staring at the floor. There were a few inches of safe space between them. They felt empty. “You chose a good time to get out. Good thing Florida hotels have cheap rates.” Frank said. The false brightness in his voice never reached his eyes, which remained uncharacteristically dull. Gerard nodded and the first drops of rain began to beat at the window.

“Good thing I never needed my college fund.” Gee amended. Frank took a deep breath and Gerard briefly wondered what was going on under that dark hair. He turned at last and caught Frank watching him. He offered a sideways smile.

“Whatever.” Gerard said, lifting a hand to brush along Frank’s cheekbone. He leant into it slightly, eyes fixed on Gerard’s.

“You still don’t wanna talk about this do you?” he said once Gee’s hand dropped back into his lap. Gerard winced and then shot Frank a sheepish look, who just sighed and closed his eyes.

“Just…Be careful, okay?”

“I don’t think Florida’s going to be particularly-“

“No. At the wedding.” Frank said. “I’ve heard stuff about your family that I’m not to happy with.”

Gee nodded. It was true. They could be kinda shitty.

“Well…”

Gerard knew there was going to be no non-corny way of doing this, so he figured he might as well go for it.

“maybe you wouldn’t have to worry so much if you could… uh- come keep an eye on me.” he said, mouth quirking. Frank cocked his head like a puppy and Gerard full on grinned. “Wanna come with me, asshole?” he said. Frank’s eyes widened comically and then he was smiling too.

“Like a date, huh?” he said. Gerard honked out a laugh and hit Frank lightly on the chest.

“No, fucker, I thought we could just go as friends.”

Frank frowned for a second before Gerard laughed again and then caved. “Yes, Jesus Christ, Frankie, be my date, please.” he sang in a mock-highschool-prom kinda way.

“Asshole.”

“God fucking damnit who the hell gets sucked off by a guy one day and the next he wonders whether his wedding invitation is a date?”

Frank swatted at him and Gerard dodged and another few swipes found them both tangled up on the bed breathing over each other’s faces. The click of Gerard’s teeth retracting brought a sly smile to Frank’s face and he leant down a little further.

When Frank kissed him, his movements stayed soft where he might usually have been speeding things along. This time he explored Gee’s mouth, holding him down with a knee between the legs and both arms over his collarbones. They stayed like that- caught in a soft, warm loop, until Frank sighed against Gerard’s cheek.

With a final peck he rolled over and lay next to him on the bed. Gerard turned to watch his chest rise and fall, hearing the soft whoosh over the pounding rain outside.

“Thank you.” Gerard found himself saying. Frank turned and frowned at him. “Just… thank you, Frankie.”

***

They rang for a cab late on Saturday night; where they each had to flash their ID for the first time that evening. The cab driver pulled out a little machine and scanned over both their drivers’ licences. Frank was quick to ask what he was doing.

“My job.” the driver replied, not glancing up as the machine beeped and flashed a green light.

Gerard rested a hand on Frank’s shoulder- sensing the warning signs of Very Angry Frank early on. The driver just flicked his eyes over both of them and grunted as he handed back their cards.

“Relax.” Gerard murmured to Frank’s tense back as they climbed into the back of the cab.

“What the fuck is this? ‘My job’, for fuck’s sake. We’re not fucking criminals.” Frank replied, not bothering to keep his voice down. Gerard nudged him and they began to pull away from the apartment.

“Yeah, well, don’t give them a reason to make you one.” he muttered to the window.

The second time they had to flash their wallets was at the makeshift barrier between the nearest human block. It did nothing for Frank’s attitude as the taser-handgun clad policeman stepped up to the car and asked for identification in a bored voice. Frank bristled as the man pulled out a clunkier looking version of the driver’s machine and slipped their licences inside. This one took a little longer to blink green but, thankfully, it did. Gerard didn’t know what the hell he had to worry about. He didn’t even know what they were scanning for- though he could guess. Policemen, he decided, just made him nervous.

And, evidently, made Frank mad as hell.

He fumed for the rest of the ride about rights and privacy and freedom of assembly (not that it seemed to be particularly relevant). Gerard listened though, slipping his hand along Frank’s thigh when he seemed more worked up than usual. By the time they pulled up on the outskirts of the city he had almost calmed down.

Needless to say, a tip for the driver was, in Frank’s opinion, out of the question. Gerard slipped him three bucks anyway because there was obviously some twisted bylaw at work here and it really was just the guy’s job. Most cab companies had stopped service in Vampire blocks altogether, so their driver couldn’t be the worst around.

He convinced himself to stop thinking about it as they crossed the street and were faced with a reasonably sized, one storey building in the centre of an oasis of grass. Gerard stopped on the sidewalk under an arch of wrought iron and ivy.

“Woah.” he whispered, because the place was kind of beautiful. City buildings sprung up on either side, dwarfing the venue and it’s garden. Orange light spilt from the windows, illuminating bushes and trees which Gerard could only imagine looked more beautiful in daylight. A path led from the sidewalk, through the gate, to the doorway. A black canopy framed the entrance, moth nets twisted down like curtains, parted just enough for more golden light to escape the building and run lines up the path, melting into the darkness just before Gerard’s feet.

“Well.” Frank said, holding out his arm. “Ready for this?”

Gerard took a deep breath, drawing his shoulders back.

“Not really.”

Frank laughed quietly.

“Neither am I, let’s do it.”

Frank held the moth net aside with a semi-bow as Gerard walked through. Gerard just rolled his eyes and reached out for Frank’s hand. Together, they stepped through the entryway into a buzzing space.

The venue wasn’t huge, but suited to the number of guests. There were round tables set on the far side of the room which was lined by floor-to-ceiling windows. Another black canopy was strung over the patio outside, lit by fairy lights. There was a dance floor of sorts in front of them, lined by a bar flanked with huge speakers. A dingy looking disco ball hung from the ceiling. Aside from the crumbling wallpaper and slightly smudged windowpanes, the hall was inviting enough.

Gerard endured the first flood of greetings, muttering occasional apologies to Frank, who waved him off.

Gerard ignored the pointed glances towards his mouth, and the hurried way everyone seemed to disappear straight after they’d said hello. There were one or two exceptions. An aunt-who’s-technically-not-an-aunt called Bettie beamed at Gerard and gushed over Frank and congratulated the two of them repeatedly on being ‘such handsome young men’. If Gerard didn’t know any better he might have thought Frank was blushing. Gee had always liked Aunt Bettie.

“Brace yourself.” Gerard muttered out of the side of his mouth as his eyes slipped behind Bettie and found a blonde head of gelled hair slicing through the crowd.

Luckily, it was at that moment that Bettie spotted either her husband or a tray of drinks and excused herself, pulling Gerard into a tight hug and patting Frank’s cheek as she went. Gerard breathed a sigh of relief.

“Frankie.” he muttered, linking an arm through Frank’s. “You ready to meet my brother?”

Frank didn't have time to reply, because Mikey had broken through the last rank of tipsy relations and was closing the final few feet to meet them.

“Hey Gee. Glad you got here okay.” he said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in an awkward side-hug before stepping back and fixed them both with a calculated gaze.

“I didn’t know you were bringing someone?” Mikey said, eyes trained on Frank, who shifted a little.

“Yeah, Mikes, this is Frankie- uh- Frank. He’s- he’s-“

“A friend.” finished Frank, smiling brightly and holding out a hand for Mikey to shake. Mikey did, but a once-over of his expression told Gerard that he wasn’t buying it.

“Nice to meet you, Frank.” Mikey said, sticking his hand back in his pocket and flicking Gerard a glance. Gerard bit his tongue and prayed that that was the end of it.

“Sucks that you couldn’t make the service, man.” Mikey continued easily. Gerard breathed a sigh and slid his hand down to hold Frank’s. Fucking ‘friend’, he thought. Great.

“Yeah well, holy ground… blessed soil, all that sh- jazz.” Gerard replied, eyes darting to one of his aunts standing less than three feet away. Frank squeezed his hand and quickly managed to engage Mikey in a conversation about guitars to which Gerard couldn’t even pretend to join in.

A few aunts and uncles were hovering near by, interrupting from time to time, and their conversational style leant towards interrogation. After a while Mikey headed back into the crowd with a grimace and a small wave. Gerard was planning on finding a corner of the room in which to hide until dinner, he reached for Frank’s hand and made to pull him towards the bar, but was stopped by a stumpy figure before he could so much as turn around.

“Michelle.” he said as brightly as he could. “How are you?”

Frank was surprisingly popular amongst the guests they encountered on their way. Despite his piercings and jet black hair, he fully engaged himself with whoever so much as looked his way, and even managed to dissolve a few of Gerard’s most solemn relatives into giggles. Gerard suspected that this might have had more to do with the way Frank looked in a suit than his razor-sharp wit, but he kept that to himself. To his relief, no one picked up on their linked hands, or if they did they refrained from making any mortifying comments. By the time dinner was being brought out from the kitchen, Gerard had almost relaxed.

“Is this so bad?” muttered Frank right into his ear as they sat at one of the central tables. Gerard peered around for Mikey and Kristen’s name-tags on his table. The waiters, teenage children of family friends, weaved around the hall distributing plates of something Gerard wouldn’t be able to eat. He glared at Frank and slapped his leg lightly under the table.

“Yes.” he muttered. He was still pretending to be angry because Frank hadn’t let him bring a hip flask.

Some time before dessert Gerard managed to sneak Frank out onto the patio and press him against a semi-hidden wall to invade his mouth with his tongue. Frank didn’t protest and even let him share a cigarette afterwards. God, Gerard was going to miss him.

When they stumbled back inside together, a few of Gerard’s more distant family members had departed, and the remaining few were drunkenly bobbing about on the dance floor. Mikey spotted them and dragged the pair of them over to find Kristen. She was swaying happily next to the bar and squealed when she caught sight of Mikey approaching. Another pang shot through Gerard’s chest, thinking about the plane ride he’d be taking in just a couple of days. Alone. He clung to Frank’s hand and dragged him onto the dance floor. Frank blinked in alarm when Gerard pulled them to a stop.

“Do I look like a fucking ballerina to you?” Frank said softly as Gerard grinned at him.

“I don’t know… you’re wearing some very pretty makeup.” Gee said, brushing a finger under Frank’s smudgey eyeliner. He caught him as Frank was about to huff and storm out.

“It’s not ballet, Frankie. Dance with me, come on.” he said, lacing his arms around Frank’s neck, letting his dead arteries pick up the beat of Frank’s blood pumping under his collar. He took a step closer, leaving a few centimetres between their noses, and he saw Frank crack long before he opened his mouth. His shoulders slumped and his arms were already ghosting Gee’s waist when he mumbled a grumpy “Fine.”

“But only because i’m going to miss the fuck out of you, fucker.” he added, voice drowned by the shitty slow music and Gerard’s grandma’s laughter and his suit as Frank buried his face against Gee’s neck and leant there, swaying slightly.

“I’m scared.” he whispered, disturbing lose strands of Frank’s black hair. He lifted his head, still shuffling around in a slow circle. For a moment it looked as if he might have something reassuring to say, but he just leant up for a chaste, (very family-friendly), kiss.

“I know, baby.” he said, fitting his head back into the crook of Gerard’s neck, hands sliding around to hold him tighter. Gerard followed suit, swallowing the lead ball in his throat and forcing himself to be content to just feel Frank against him for now, because, really, he didn’t have any other choice.

Well, he didn’t until Frank pulled back and had that look in his eye which always meant trouble. Before Gerard even had a chance to shoot him a suspicious look, Frank was dragging him by the tie, then his hand, to the far corner of the room.

“Frankie, where are we-“ Frank shot a grin over his shoulder and pushed through a door next to a potted plant which turned out to be a bathroom. Oh, thought Gerard. _oh_.

Frank’s smile didn’t falter as he pushed Gerard into a cubicle and promptly crowded him against the door. His tongue was warm and soft at his neck, and then his lips. Gerard’s hands found Frank’s waist as they made out sloppily, then Frank pulled back with a wet noise and dropped to his knees. Gerard’s brain almost shorted out at the sight of him.

“Do you know how fucking good you look in that tie?” Frank asked, already a little breathless. Gerard just dropped his head back against the door with a bang and petted at the side of Frank’s face.

“Fucking… look in a mirror, Frankie, _fuck_.” Gerard breathed. Frank’s hands were warm through his pants, heel of his palm pressed against his dick which was already flush against his zipper.

Frank hummed and pulled Gee’s pants down slowly, leaning forwards until his warm breath was ghosting over the thin layer of cotton over Gerard’s cock. A short shiver ran up his spine and he whined in the back of his throat. The thought that anyone could walk in and would _definitely_ figure out what was going on crossed Gee’s mind. Weirdly, he didn’t even see it as much of a drawback.

“Please, Frankie.” he heard himself saying as Frank ran his tongue over the taut material of Gerard’s boxers.

With another few seconds and a low laugh, Frank conceded.

“Only ‘cause you asked so nicely.” he murmured, and finally, the boxers were around Gerard’s knees and Frank’s warm mouth was licking a stripe right on the underside of Gerard’s dick. He didn’t stop there either. Gerard’s hand flew to the wall to his right as Frank’s mouth sank to his balls, lips moving way too slowly and it was perfect.

Gerard was actually kind of glad when he stopped because he could feel a curl in his stomach which he knew all too well.

Maybe Frank could read his mind, because the next second his warm lips were sliding back up to Gerard’s tip, his hand moving on the base to meet his mouth as he sank down torturously slowly.

His eyes flickered open once or twice, and even with his mouth thoroughly occupied, Gee could see the grin sparkling there.

“You’re so fucking good at that.” Gerard gritted out as Frank’s tongue swirled again and he sank down further, hand still meeting his lips as he bobbed. Gerard felt like he was in a cloud. The twinges from his dick were magnified everywhere, shaking his thighs and tightening his stomach until he was tangling a hand in Frank’s hair and mumbling something which was probably nonsense but hopefully conveyed the message. As ever, Frank didn’t draw back. He just snapped his eyes open for a final time and dropped both his hands behind his back as Gerard groaned his name and came hard into his mouth.

“Frankie I want you to- You’re still, Can you, please just-“

he shook his head like that could shake some kind of sense into him, then gave up for a moment when he caught sight of Frank’s swollen lips. First Gerard reached for them with two fingers, parting them slightly while Frank let him, gaze steady, but heart pounding hard beneath his shirt.

Gerard kissed him then, running a hand down Frank’s front to palm at his hard cock for a moment before sliding over his ass, then his back, then his jaw. He couldn’t decide.

“What, angel?” Frank said after a while, his voice was so wrecked and Gerard was going out of his mind. He was a little twitchy under Gerard’s hands, probably trying not to just hump his leg and be done with it. There was no way Gee was going to allow that anyway…

“Do you think we could- Could you…”

“Speak up, princess.” Frank whispered, and Gerard was going to fucking pass out.

“Can you fuck me, like, now? Is that- can we do that?” Gerard panted, and he had a couple of other things to say but Frank was drowning them with a hard kiss- full of teeth and attack and Gerard’s knees were melting all over again.

“Your whole family is like, ten yards away.” Frank purred into Gerard’s ear, and if there was any sentence which was not supposed to get Gee going under any circumstances, that would be it. But his brain was full of Frank and it didn’t matter, and he was rolling his hips against him again like he could somehow override biology and get hard again. He cursed his vampire body for being even more fucking slow about that than he was in life.

"Adventurous." Frank said in a low voice, brushing the back of his finger over Gerard's cheek. 

“I guess you just fucking bring that out in me... Look, I don’t care. Please, Frankie. Please, baby, come on.” He begged, (fucking _begged_ what the fuck) and he sounded so fucking stupid, but Frank’s surprised smile was enough to convince him that this didn’t matter either. He put his hand to Frank’s chest and walked him backwards, pausing because he couldn’t keep his lips off Frank’s clammy skin. They stood there with their arms around each other, Gerard kissing the shit out of Frank, his pants still caught halfway down his legs. A surge shot through him at the thought that, if he was anywhere else, with anyone else, he would be mortified. He’d be covering his translucent, flabby skin and hiding his teeth and worrying that his stomach was sticking out, but right now he just felt good. Frank’s hands were wandering over his back and squeezing his neck and it took a moment for the realisation to hit that the first time in maybe ever, Gerard felt _attractive_. Frank was making appreciative little sounds into his mouth and holding them together like he wanted to fucking merge or something and Gerard felt so wanted he was glowing.

“Sit down.” he said breathlessly, clutching Frank’s jacket and pulling at it until Frank shrugged it off, then he pushed him down onto the closed toilet seat, trying to touch everywhere at once.

Jacket still in hand, he had to press their mouths together hastily in order to avoid the torrent of hygiene complaints no doubt building up in Frank’s brain. Once his shoulders had relaxed, Gerard pulled his own jacket off and stepped back to hang them both on the hook on the wall. When he turned back Frank was staring up at him with dark eyes, and he was biting his lip ring into his mouth and Gerard had to kick off his pants altogether to avoid tripping in his rush to climb into Frank’s lap. His knees landed hard on the ledges either side of the toilet as he shuffled forwards until they were chest to chest.

“God, how the fuck do you _look_ like that?” Gee asked, hands already busy with the button of Frank’s pants. Frank fucking giggled and leant back a little. His chest was heaving fast and he was still hard as rock under his own boxers. 

Arranging his knees on the ledges was a challenge, given the small space, and they slipped around more than once in a cascade of giggles and cursing, but eventually Gerard had battled Frank’s underwear onto the floor and was jacking his cock slowly with one hand. He reached up to trace the line of Frank’s throat with the other, his head thrown back against the wall, and Gerard was in heaven.

“C’mere.” he said when he couldn’t resist any longer, lacing his fingers into the hair at the base of Frank’s neck and pulling their mouths together. Frank went gladly, moaning into him, breaking off from time to time when Gerard twisted his hand a certain way.

“Frankie- please- I need you to-“ Gerard was panting right against Frank’s neck when he felt a hand in his hair pulling him up.

“You really wanna do this here?” Frank said slowly, looking into his eyes, his free hand was slipping under the hem of Gerard’s shirt and pressed flat agains the small of his back. Gerard was arching at the touch, so sensitive all over he thought he might explode. He just nodded. Closing his eyes when Frank tugged his hair again until Gee’s neck was completely exposed. Frank took his time worrying the soft skin there between his teeth, licking up to his ear and back again.

“Come on, baby, I want-“

“I know.” Frank said, and if Gerard wasn’t on his way to totally out of it, maybe he would have picked up the laughter in Frank’s voice. “You’re really up for it, huh, babe?” he purred. Gerard didn’t bother to suppress a moan as Frank’s fingers pressed at his bottom lip. He snapped his eyes open and looked into Frank’s as he opened his mouth and let his fingers slip inside. Frank’s breath hitched. His pupils were wide and black and his heart was pumping so fast; so loud. Gee shifted in Frank’s lap, rolling his hips back a little to leave some space.

A few seconds of Frank watching Gerard suck his fingers into his mouth, he pulled them out slowly, replacing them with his tongue as his hand crept down to the curve of Gerard’s ass.

“It’s so hot when you want it like this.” Frank whispered into Gee’s mouth, pressing a finger to the rough skin and letting it rest there while Gerard keened.

“I really, really fucking do.” he said, words broken up by the sharp intake of breath as his muscles strained around Frank’s finger.

“Yeah, apparently.” Frank smirked, like he hadn’t just stuck his finger in Gerard’s ass.

“Shut the fuck- Oh.” Gerard dug little red marks into Frank’s shoulder as a second finger slipped inside him, stretching gently but quickly.

“You good?” Frank panted after a little while, sending zings up Gerard's spine. Gerard could feel Frank's muscles tensed- barely keeping his hips from rolling up alongside his fingers. Gerard wouldn’t have minded, actually, but he couldn’t put it into words.

“Little more.” he replied, fucking himself down onto Frank’s hand, arms looped around Frank’s neck and ignoring his dick altogether. Gerard wasn’t about to fucking complain, but the angle was wrong and his legs were burning already. He could maybe have done with more than this, but Frank’s wondered expression was almost _reverent_ as Gee squirmed around his fingers and this was going to have to do.

“Okay, okay, okay.” he blurted. “You got… I don’t have-“

“Jacket. Wallet.” Frank said, pointing vaguely, as if Gerard hadn’t just hung them up himself. Frank gently pulled his fingers free and Gee hopped up gracelessly to dig around in Frank’s jacket. Emerging victorious, he was already ripping the condom packet while Frank licked a line up his palm and jacked himself slowly, eyes hot on Gerard. He faltered when their eyes met, hands stilling on the wrapper. Frank gave him an upwards nod which would have been kind of douchey in any other scenario, but shot right to Gerard’s soft cock almost painfully.

“You gonna fuck me, Frankie?” he said, and Frank’s eyes closed for a fraction of a second before reaching out a hand.

“Fuck, yeah. C’mere, beautiful.” he said, and his voice was gruff and Gerard thought he was going to _die_ _again._ Christ, if he'd known Frank when he was a teenager he wouldn't have been able to leave his fucking  _room_ he'd be jerking off so much. He was thinking about voicing this thought when Frank raised his perfect eyebrow and Gerard was stumbling forwards. 

“I- yeah.” he said intelligently, lowering himself onto the ledges again. He rested on Frank’s lap before he lifted up though, his thighs protesting all this weird exercise. Frank watched him, hands warm on Gerard’s hips while he spat into his palm and slipped the condom down him.

“You alright?” Frank said softly, lifting Gerard’s chin with two fingers and smiling at his wide eyes. Gerard found himself smiling back before nodding. “You’re so fucking pretty.” Frank whispered before reaching between them. Gerard shifted himself so he was kneeling up and rested his forehead against Frank’s. “Look so good like this. Wish we were home so I could spread you out; take this shirt off.”

Gerard’s breath quickened as Frank pressed up against his hole and paused.

“What the fuck are you waiting for.” Gee said and it was with Frank’s laughter in his ears that the burn rushed through him, radiating in his lower body and snaring his nerve endings.

"So impatient." he murmured, then bit down hard on his lip, eyes scrunching as Gerard shifted and began to sit right down, and Gerard was fucked if that face wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever seen... A face he was making because of  _Gerard._ Cool. 

Frank’s hand slid around Gee's back as he slid down the rest of the way, breathing heavily by the time he dropped completely into his lap. Frank made a strangled noise then pressed soft kisses to Gerard’s cheeks as he adjusted.

“You feel fucking perfect.” he whispered, reaching to nip at Gerard’s ear, and that was it, Gerard’s hands fastened on the wall behind Frank’s head and he was moving. His hips circled over and over again, and he was revelling in the sounds Frank was making; the way his hands slid over his ass, pulling him deeper with every thrust. He ground down faster, mouth dropping open as the slap of their skin echoed around the fucking  _bathroom of his cousin's wedding when did his life turn out like this._

Like this, he could feel everything, and he’d deny it later, but the sounds he was making were sluttier than Frank’s by about a mile, though he'd kill to bottle the high pitched mewls Frank made as Gerard pounded into him. Creepy, but true. 

“I’m not- ah- gonna last long like this baby just- You- oh- Look so good on top of me- ah-“ Frank said after maybe a few minutes, maybe a year.

Gerard leant forwards to shut him up because just his voice was making him want to come, but his dick still wasn’t cooperating. Frank was sweating so much everything was slick and hot and Gerard just wanted to feel this right up until it was over.

“Do it then.” he breathed.

Gerard knew Frank was close long before he started making high pitched noises and tossing his head back. He could feel the pull of his muscles and feel the rush of his blood. It was dizzying, and really, really awesome.

“Come on Frankie, I feel so full- You’re so good, come for me…”

Frank left one hand on Gerard’s ass, keeping them close, and brought the other up to cup the back of his head, pulling them together until he was biting lazily at Gerard’s bottom lip. Frank’s mouth dropped open against Gerard’s and his body stiffened, hips still moving as Gerard felt him come apart.

“That’s it, babe.” Gerard breathed, pulling tight for Frank until he was spent, panting against Gee’s cold skin.

Gerard allowed himself another few seconds warm in Frank’s arms before he winced and pulled himself off. Frank pouted when he stumbled to his feet.

“Oh, _now_ you don’t wanna go back.” Gee said with a half smile. Frank gave him a look and exhaled through his mouth.

“I never _wanted_ to go back, I was just… public bathroom.” he said, wrinkling his nose as Gerard pulled up his pants, kicking Frank’s towards him as he did.

"Clean freak." 

"Exhibitionist." Frank retorted, sticking his tongue out. Gerard snorted. 

“I mean it, you know.” Frank said softly once they were both dressed and reasonably cleaned up. Gerard shifted in his pants, deciding whether or not the ache under his coccyx was going to be unbearable by the end of the night.

“Hmm?” Gerard went for the door and Frank rested a hand on his arm.

“The shit I say when we fuck.” he said, eyes dropping to the floor. Gerard gawped for a moment. Bashful Frank was kind of rare, and very, very cute. Not to mention what bashful Frank just _fucking said_. “You know…” he said, because apparently he wasn’t done tearing Gerard’s heart to pieces. “Cause some people just spew bullshit and I wanted you to know that’s not me… It’s not bullshit.”

“Thank you.” Gerard said softly, leaning in and pressing his lips to Frank’s. They stayed there for a moment, like maybe things could get intense again, but Gerard figured that they should probably get back out there. They were lucky enough (or unlucky, maybe, according to Gerard’s weird brain) that no one walked in on them. They should quit while they were ahead.

“And, for the record,” Gee said, finally dragging a ruffled Frank out of the stall and to the door. “With you, me neither.”

A couple of hours later found them crowded around the bar with Mikey and Kristen and two bottles of someone else’s champagne and with Frank’s arm on his waist Gerard was finding it easier to forget the knot of sadness turning away in his stomach. They spent a significant amount of time mocking the ‘wedding playlist’ blaring from the speakers and Frank, as it turned out, had an incredible knack for making Kristen laugh, which gained Mikey’s silent approval. While he was preoccupied with the barman, she muttered “Good choice.” into Gerard’s ear.

Gerard was just reaching the conclusion that tonight was an overall success. Sure his family had avoided him, and he had to pretend not to notice them dragging their children away whenever he came within four feet, but Frank was pressed up against him and Mikey and Kristen were smiling and, as evenings went, this one wasn’t the worst he’d had. If he ignored the bittersweet longing he was feeling all over, Gerard could almost say that he was enjoying himself…

“It’s the teeth that unnerve me.”

The music from the bar was loud, but so was the nasal voice emanating from the woman behind them. Ever since she had stumbled over she had been making slurred demands of the bartender, but as she turned to her friends, Gerard could hear what she was saying more clearly. He stiffened and tried his hardest to tune into whatever dreadful song was playing in an attempt to block out the conversation worming its way into his left ear. Perhaps the woman was subconsciously edging closer, because her voice was still cutting easily through the music.

“No, no! Of course I don’t have a problem with them, they can’t help the way they are, but it’s like I was saying to Barbara the other day: couldn’t they just make a bit of an effort to hide them in public? The teeth I mean. Not to be rude or anything, mind, I’m just thinking it might frighten the children, you know. Kids don’t understand, they might ask questions and that would just be- You know. I mean, there’s all this PC-gone-wild stuff; people protesting the law at the moment and, well, I don't think well regulated barriers are such a bad thing. You never know when one of them could be a danger and it’s better safe than sorry-”

Maybe Frank had felt him tensing up, or maybe he’d also been listening to the woman’s stream of inane bullshit, either way, he slipped his other arm around Gerard’s waist and held him there from behind. It was too late though, Gerard was shrugging him off, and before he could stop himself he’d turned around. What he planned to do once he was facing her, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that every shred of frustration was returning to him in a tidal wave and now it was getting past the point of suppression. He spun around and immediately recognised the lady’s flat-iron blonde hair. Memories of sitting at the golf club with his parents after church floated over him, forced to sit next to his mother’s friends and listen to them passively insult each other and openly insult everyone else.

“Margaret, is it?” he said, stepping forward, momentarily proud that his voice wasn’t shaking. The woman turned from the three or four men huddled around her.

“Yes?” she said, squinting at him. The glass in her hand shook worryingly. Before he could continue, Frank had appeared at his side. Gerard ignored him.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt,” he said, only pausing to smile deliberately at her. If she noticed his very visible canines she didn’t show it. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation just now and I was just wondering what it was you were saying exactly?” he said. Frank put a hand on the small of his back. The men standing around her fell silent. Margaret, seemingly unaware of the sarcasm lacing his words, was just about ready to relay her view-point on the subject when Gerard continued.

“I mean, how could I fail to be interested? _I_ wouldn’t want to be scaring anyone, would I? I could be- I don’t know- a criminal. I mean, with teeth like this, who knows what I could do, right?” his tone was steel. Frank was now actively tugging on his arm and Kristen was looking over at them quizzically. At this point Margaret seemed to sense that he was not, in fact, displaying a friendly interest. She faltered and squinted harder at him. Her mouth opened but, once again, Gerard beat her to it. Unfortunately the song was coming to an end, thus there was very little to obscure Gerard’s rising voice.

“You know what, they should nip it in the bud and lock up all the Vamps right? ‘Better safe than sorry’, I guess.”

The final notes of the song faded out, replaced only by the hum of conversation. The “wedding playlist” had chosen the only possible inconvenient time to end and Margret was looking around shiftily. The men, and a couple of nosy women, behind her looked positively scandalised. To top it all her husband was on his way through the crowd. When he arrived, Margaret’s husband began to yell. Despite Frank’s tightening grip on his arm, Gerard yelled back. Kristen appeared between them, but Mikey was nowhere to be seen.

Gerard didn’t remember how long the argument went on for, but he remembered how it ended. He remembered seeing a fist lift up in front of him, and he even remembered preparing himself for the blow. Luckily enough his mother had made it over by that time and the fist never made impact. Though, as she hauled him out of the hall, he wondered if a punch would have perhaps been the lesser of two evils.

There was the usual drill about disappointment, and Gerard was halfway to tuning her out when he realised that this was the first time his mother had directly addressed him in months, and it was to call him an “utter disgrace”.

Frank sat outside with him while he cried, though there was still no sign of Mikey. The night air wasn’t cold but Frank’s arm has slipped over his shoulders when he started shivering. They sat on the steps of the hall until Gerard had calmed down. Frank kissed him when they stood up and Gerard began to look tearful again. He kissed him hard, and it was so familiar by now that Gerard’s heart felt like it was breaking. Frank knew where to put his hands on Gerard’s neck, knew how he liked his hair pulled at the back, knew how he needed it softer; how he needed reassurance. When they broke apart Gerard cried again anyway, soaking the shoulder of Frank’s jacket as he stroked up and down his back whispering “It’s alright, beautiful. You’re alright.”

Eventually, Gerard let Frank convince him that it was time to leave. He wanted to go in and say goodbye, to Kristen and his brother if no one else, but Frank suggested that it might be best they get going. When Gerard tried to sit down on the grass in the yard Frank laced their fingers together and gently pulled him off down the street. Gerard had started to cry again and the last thing he remembered before waking up back in his own bed was throwing up bile in a street he didn’t recognise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel very free to tell me how this is going I literally don't even know...?   
> ***  
> Hope ur all doing just fine xo


	10. Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it's been too long I've been b u s y xo

“Mikey.”

“Gerard, I really wanna get out of here, they’re closing the place up.”

“Mikey, please.” Gerard forced the calm into his voice, because he knew if he lost it now, he’d be a mess of hysteria and Mikey would be driving them out of there faster than a bullet train.

So Gee bit hard on his lip, concentrating on the lick of pain across his skin and the tap, tap, tap of his brother’s fingers on the steering wheel.

“Gerard, don’t look at me like i’m an asshole.” Mikey said, offering a pleading look from behind his glasses. “I just think it’s better to get out of town tonight. We can get the hotel room right by the airport and then you’re just… Ready to go, you know?” he said. Gerard closed his eyes and looked out of the window. Even the engine sounded impatient, humming away all around them.

“Mikes,” Gerard said steadily. This was his final try. “If this was Kristen you’d-“

“Fucking fine!” Mikey hissed, unlocking the doors with a click and grabbing Gee by the shoulder. “I am picking you up two hours before sunrise. Be here.” His face was a mess of sharp lines, shadows cast from the sparse street lighting painted his features in dark strokes. Gerard looked into the dark wells of Mikey’s eyes behind his glasses.

“Thank you.” he said, and with a squeeze of his brother’s arm, he was out of the door, staring up at the familiar brickwork. He tried not to feel too stupid when the sight set a hitch in his breath.

***

On the sixth floor, Frank opened the door and stepped aside without a word, just a soft smile.

“You walk here?” he asked as Gerard dumped his bags down in the tiny hallway and shook his head.

“Couldn’t get a cab. Mikey dropped me.”

Frank’s lips tightened but he stayed quiet, taking Gee’s hand and leading him into the kitchen where he poured himself a drink. He knew Gerard wouldn’t want one.

“So.” he said after a long pause. “Florida.”

“Florida.”

“Tomorrow.”

Gerard grimaced.

“Hey,” Frank said, swigging his beer. “It’s like we said, nice and cheap down there.” Gerard snorted.

“Cheap and dangerous.” he muttered and Frank bumped their shoulders together, leaning against the countertop.

“Hey, you're a terrifying creature of the night, remember? What have you got to be afraid of?” Gerard laughed despite himself and shook his head. 

“Yeah… and what are _you_ going to do, oh tiny one, when this terrifying beast isn’t here to catch your spiders anymore.”

Frank grimaced and wrinkled his nose. Gerard laughed at him and leant over to kiss the scrunched look off his face.

“Call me if you see one and I’ll talk you though it.” he offered.

“So generous.” Frank said glumly, tugging at his hoodie. Gerard narrowed his eyes.

“Is this mine?” he asked, tugging at the sleeve. Frank looked sheepish for a split second before a smirk slipped onto his face.

“What are you gonna do about it?” he said. Gerard didn’t have the energy to humour him, even though that raised eyebrow was a signal he recognised.

“Nothing. Looks better on you.”

After a few minutes Frank downed his drink and left the glass in the sink, pulling Gerard’s hand until he followed him into his bedroom. They watched smudgey clouds moving against the black sky as Frank dropped his weight against Gerard’s shoulder.

“I wish I could come with you.” he sighed. Gerard’s stomach tightened and he fought a minuscule mental battle before his mouth got ahead of him.

“You can.” he said in a small voice. “If you want.” Frank turned to him, already shaking his head and Gerard’s heart dropped. Frank saw his expression and knelt up, hands grasping at Gerard’s hoodie.

“Gee, Gee, Gerard-“

“Forget it, I understand.”

“No, Gee, look at me.”

Gerard did. “I fucking would, okay? In a heartbeat. I want to, but I can’t. Not right now at least. My parents are here and… they’ve been helping me with rent, man. I gotta get a real job here. Tattoos here and there won’t cut it anymore. I would. I really would, it’s just… timing.” he finished weakly. Gerard tilted his head and laughed again, because he thought he might cry if he didn’t.

“Yeah. Timing.”

“Gee, please look at me.” Frank said, scrambling around on the bed, grasping at the shoulder of Gee’s hoodie. “I promise it's timing, nothing but, okay.” he said, and Gerard shrugged. “I- Can we have this conversation now without you freaking out?” Frank said, dropping onto his heels and staring at the side of Gerard’s face with that earnest expression which could melt steel with it’s warmth.

“I don’t freak out, I just don’t think there’s anything to say.” Gerard said, clasping his hands together in his lap and watching smatterings of stars appear through gaps in the clouds. Frank’s gaze didn’t let up.

“This doesn’t have to be a big deal, Frankie.” Gerard sighed. “You’re going to be good here, or wherever you end up. You’re going to meet some person and have like eight kids and one day, when all this shit’s died down you’re gonna let me come see them.” Gerard said.

“Don’t be a prick.” Frank said, kneeling up in bed and pulling the torn up hoodie around him. His eyes were laser-focussed on Gerard and his hair was messed up and Gerard’s heart was hurting all over. Everything was hurting.

“Don’t do this, Frankie.”

“No, shut the fuck up.” Frank said vehemently, kneeling closer, back curving with his gaze trained on Gerard, propped underneath him by pillows that smelt of him and Frank and smoke and sweat and home and Gerard had a lump in his throat which he desperately tried to swallow. “Shut the fuck up, don’t pull this ‘forget about me’ martyr _bull_ shit.”

“Frank.” Gerard said horsely, because he _did_ want all those things for Frank. He wanted to see him happy and have a family and _love_ and flash that pretty smile everywhere he went. As the thoughts flittered around the image of that smile in his head, the realisation shattered over him, in it’s technicolour glory, that he might never even see it. Coming back to the city might not be an option. Staying in the country may not be a fucking option. Shit might not get better this time. He might never see his boyfriend, or his brother, or Ray, or his asshole parents ever again, what the _fuck_.

And then Frank’s arms were around him and he was sobbing like a kid and clutching onto the back of his own hoodie which was swamping Frank’s small frame.

Some time passed and Frank had manoeuvred them into the middle of the bed, wrapping his limbs all around Gerard until his heat felt like a blanket. Fuck, better than a blanket. What was he going to do without this?

Gerard’s face was a mess, he knew it. Purple tinges on his nose and around his eyes, the ugly green tint to his cheeks, but once he’d calmed down it didn’t stop Frank pressing their lips together firmly. His heels pressed the small of Gerard’s back and he shuffled forwards so they were chest to chest. His arms were heavy around Gerard’s neck, one hand rubbing circles in his hair and the other holding him tight.

Gerard didn’t give himself time to breathe, just felt the warmth and let it control him so he didn’t have to think anymore.

“Fuck me, beautiful.” Frank whispered after a while, nudging his head under Gee’s jaw and licking a hot line to his ear. Gerard bit his lip and just sighed.

“Please, baby. I want to feel it. I need you.” Frank said, words as hot as his tongue and Gerard was nodding despite his face and everything going on in his head, because he needed this too.

They fucked slowly, Frank kneeling over Gerard’s thighs. His back against Gerard’s chest, and Gerar/ back agains the headboard. His head lolled against the wall as he held Frank, hands brushing over his chest and holding his hips while he moved. His tattoos were burnt on the backs of Gee’s eyelids when he came. The air was thick in the room and and Gerard could feel every molecule on his skin.

It was faster in the shower, more urgent. Frank rested his head on his forearms while Gerard slammed into him, crying his name and bathing in the sound echoing around them, masked only by the falling of water on their backs before it rushed down the drain.

“I love how I can taste you.” Gee panted later when they were damp but warm and wrapped up in each other, making out on top of the bedclothes like teenagers with nothing better to do.

“Mmph?” Frank bit hard on Gerard’s bottom lip and then peered at him.

“I can’t taste anything except… except food- my food- blood. he said, leaning back in and continuing with his eyes closed, palm pressed up against Frank's pulse, fingers in his hair.

“And it’s so good to be able to taste you. So good. I love it so much. Gonna miss it so much.” He breathed between kisses. Frank didn’t reply, just made a deep noise and rolled them over and licked into his mouth with as little finesse as possible, just how Gerard wanted it.

The third time felt like it might have gone on for hours, and it was so good for so long that Gerard wasn’t sure if he’d maybe fallen asleep after all. He was pretty sure they started out on the bed, but he was one hundred percent certain about where they finished; right in the window looking over four streets in every direction.

Gerard panted into Frank's hair and against his back and muttered words he didn’t care to remember while Frank dropped his head against the glass with a thud, making beautiful noises with every thrust of Gerard's hips. When he opened his eyes to see the steam creeping up the window pane Gerard held back a laugh at the likelihood of it all. Fucking the most attractive guy in the country in full view of anyone who happened to glance out of their window early on a Tuesday morning. Gerard pressed an open mouthed kiss to Frank's back. The edge of a sheathed canine scraped the skin as he moved and Frank practically whimpered. Gerard paused for a second, letting his sex-slow brain mull it over before he clicked his teeth to their full size, and grazed the tips over Frank’s shoulder to his neck, breathing a stream of cool air over the thin black hair there.

Frank came seconds later all over the glass with his mouth open and eyes closed and Gerard’s hand over his on the window pane.

Another multi-purpose clean up later, Gerard was nestled under the black linen duvet with Frank hot and kind of sweaty and totally perfect sprawled over him. It wasn’t long before he found himself drifting off to sleep with thoughts of buying an electric blanket for his hotel room fluttering through his mind.

***

“You will fucking call me, motherfucker.” Frank said, a mere few hours later as they stood in his hallway once more. His eyes were sparkling in the hallway light and Gerard smiled at him as he held out his arms. He held on like he didn’t have to let go, but his phone was starting to buzz in his pocket.

“I will.” he replied into Frank’s hair. His eyes slipped closed as the scent of cigarettes and detergent and shampoo flushed over him and, like always, the sting of iron chasing it up. “If you promise to pick up, you lazy piece of shit.”

“Day or night.” Frank replied uncharacteristically quietly. He pulled back and pressed a close-mouthed kiss to Gerard’s lips, once, then twice. He didn’t let go of his hoodie though, as he stood, looking up through his eyelashes, and for a dizzy couple of seconds Gerard wondered if the sob he’d been choking back would burst out, but it didn’t. He just dropped his bag and looped his arms around Frank’s neck for a final time, one hand creeping up to grasp at the soft strands of his hair as he kissed him more deeply, and then they had to stop, because his phone was vibrating non-stop and his heart was aching.

“Frank, I love you.” he said quietly, hands on Frank’s waist under the hoodie, and when he looked up his heart sank. Frank stood and stared and said nothing, and said nothing, and kept saying nothing until Gerard had all but shrivelled into a ball of misery. He let his hands fall to his sides, then shoved them into his pockets to resist nervous fidgeting. After a final second wishing the ground would swallow him, he dropped his gaze from Frank’s wide eyes and slightly open mouth and mumbled “Right.”

“Gerard-“ Frank said, hand twitching at his side and every syllable of the name sounding like it was dragged out of him. Gee cut him off, picking the last of his bags up in a hurry.

“I gotta go, Mikey’ll be- Gotta plane so… I- No.” he said when he saw Frank shrugging his hoodie off. “No, keep it. Throw it out, whatever.” he added under his breath.

He kept his eyes glued to the ground as he tripped over the rug on his way to the door. He was aware of Frank’s blood hurtling faster and faster under his skin. He didn’t need to look up to know there’d be a red flush spreading over his face alongside probable mortification.

“So, yeah, text me I guess.” Gerard said, fumbling with the door handle and refusing to look up into a face he’d trusted so completely right up until he just embarrassed himself past redemption. How could he have misread the situation that badly? His stomach flipped as he stepped over the threshold for the last time in god-knows how long, because he couldn’t have just fucking kept quiet for five more minutes, could he? They could have left this on good terms and would have been able to painlessly drift apart, forget about each other and get on with their lives. Now the last day would always be tarnished with Gerard acting like a keen fucking _freak_ and Frank would always remember him as a clingy asshole.

“Or don’t.” he said, turning and forcing his gaze up Frank’s body to meet his eyes, because something in him needed to.

“I’m gonna go.” Gerard said, pausing for another few seconds in case Frank said something, anything at all. Told him not to, told him he felt the same…

But the seconds stretched and his blood kept rushing like a waterfall in Gerard’s ears and he knew a lost cause when he saw one.

“It’s been cool, Frankie… I- uh- I’ll see you, I guess.”

“Gee, I didn’t-“ Frank took a step forwards and then faltered, biting that fucking ring into his mouth and Gerard couldn’t take any more of this.

“It’s okay. Really, Frankie, it’s cool. Thank you for everything.” he said, voice faint in the long corridor. Frank’s expression was unreadable. His lips were parted again, there was a crease behind his eyebrows, but Gerard was done waiting to see if that was leading anyway.

“Bye, I guess.” he said, and with that he began to lug his bags off towards the elevator, maybe limping a little slower than necessary, waiting to hear his name… or at least the door closing so he would know for sure.

When he heard neither, he turned as the elevator worked it’s way up the floor and caught Frank raising a hand in a wave.

“I’ll miss you.” he called. They were a good distance away, but Gerard was pretty sure he saw the slump in his shoulders replacing the tension there as he left. Relief? He bit his bottom lip into his mouth and waved back. Maybe this was for the best after all.

“You too.” he said, bargaining with himself that he wouldn’t let the emotion get to him until he was safely behind those steel doors. “Take care, Frank.”

And with a ding, the doors slid open, Gerard hauled his stuff inside, and before he knew it, Frank was gone and he was sinking through the floors to the lobby alone. This time, he almost smashed the blank mirror staring back at him as the bell rang cheerfully for each floor they passed. He settled for spitting on the floor and hurrying from the lobby before he did something stupid like sit in the elevator until it reached Frank’s floor of its own accord.

No time for that. His phone vibrated angrily in his pocket. Mikey was waiting.

***

The radio faded to static as the city melted away into suburb into rolling fields as they made the trip to the airport. Gerard pretended not to notice Mikey’s regular glances his way, and in return Mikey didn’t ask any questions when the tears started rolling down his cheeks again. The only time he moved was when they reached the final turnpike; the one which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere and marked the end of the county. Gerard swivelled in his seat to watch the distant twinkling lights fade into the starry skyline and he took a deep breath. Then he turned back around in his seat and went back to watching the lines of the empty road shooting by underneath them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY short again and maybe a bit shit, it's late...  
> ***  
> Like I always say when this shit happens, I figure if it's been a while and I've only got a little done, best post a little than wait another a g e to post a lot  
> IDk  
> ***  
> I hope you are doing A-Okay xox


	11. Violent Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so uh I haven't read this back yet :/ Come Back Tomorrow if it's unbearable :) xo

The back compartment of the plane was crowded. Guys in long black coats and girls with spiky hair all sat in relative silence. The odd family were chatting, some kids running up and down the aisles before being gathered into seats by their parents, but overall the overhanging mood was clear. There seemed to be a mutual understanding between every Vampire on the plane, something like sympathy passing over their faces if their eyes met, wondering what the others were leaving behind.

It wasn’t until he stepped through baggage claim at South Lakeland Airport that he realised how lost he was. Saying goodbye to Mikey at the airport had been something, and settling down into his seat on the plane with headphones firmly in place had been another, but stepping outside in another state altogether with three bags and a hotel booking was something he hadn't prepared for. He thought he’d felt alone before with no friends in apartment block in a new part of town, but that wasn’t alone. This was a-fucking-lone.

After much awkward wandering around he was pointed in the direction of the subway. The entrance opened up right in the middle of Arrivals. Stairs led into a well lit walkway which disappeared on a downwards slope.

Gerard hesitated on the way in, fists tightening around his bags as he remembered hearing the ambulances in the street back home, watching two Vampires wheeled out on stretchers from his top floor apartment. The lack of news coverage about it in the following weeks. The sense of uneasiness which had never really left him back in the city.

He was snapped out of it as a group of kids, nineteen or twenty maybe, brushed past him, talking and laughing and descending the stairs without a moment’s thought. Gerard raised his eyebrows, took a deep breath and followed them, because at this point, what did he even have to lose?

The subway ride was completely uneventful. Aside from having to ask a stranger for directions, and being taught the Subway Map by another kind passer by, he arrived at the Mulberry stop without further incident. When he struggled out of the doors with his stuff he was too busy to really take in his surroundings, but once he’d straightened up he stopped in his tracks. The station was nothing like any subway he’d ever seen. Trams were pulling up and taking off down several tunnels opposite him. The ceiling was cavernous, lights swinging down from metal wires and a mural covering the entire left side. A few aggravated sighs from rushing passengers eventually coaxed him out of his daze and he headed to the platform by the second tunnel as instructed by the Vampire he’d stopped on the way over.

On the tram it was just like the subway. Humans and Vampires sat side by side, none bothering to sheathe their teeth, none hiding sideways looks at one another. They were just reading newspapers or talking on the phone and it was all Gerard could do not to stare in amazement.

His tram made numerous stops, and he was the only one to climb off at the Best Western on East Canal Street. The whole experience was over before he knew it, and he hadn’t even been above ground yet but his head was buzzing as he pushed through some double doors at the top of a winding set of stairs. He panted and leant agains the wall for a moment, clutching his suitcase and hoping no one could see him. If he could break a sweat he would be so drenched right now.

The receptionist didn’t spare him a second glance when he checked in which, paradoxically, made him act more like a jittery freak than he might have done otherwise.

“Thank you.” he muttered, avoiding eye contact as he took the room key and scuttled off in the direction of his room. His order had been ‘Vampire Safe’. He hadn’t known what that meant, but as he followed the grotty carpet around a few corners, he figured it just meant out of the sun. A thick black awning hung over the balcony and there were handles scattered around which looked as if they could lift it back when it got dark outside. The doors, which Gerard expected opened out onto the street or a courtyard behind that awning, had a small fang symbol printed under the peephole and, for once, it felt weirdly inclusive.

The rest of the day went quickly. Gerard spent it unpacking, wandering around the enclosed section of the hotel and wondering whether he should bite the bullet and get some sleep. He couldn’t though. He knew that before even lying down. Closing his eyes for more than thirty seconds brought on a flurry of Frank-shaped thoughts and he so wasn’t ready for that it was unbelievable. For that very reason he switched his phone off and left it in the bathroom while he rearranged the clothes in a huge dusty wardrobe for the fourth time.

Eventually he turned to drawing, and some time later was surprised by a rhythmic clicking noise. It was almost like a grandfather clock preparing to mark the hour. Fairly low, but audible and very persistent. A few seconds of nervous searching melted any of Gerard’s paranoia and replaced it with that warm feeling he’d been getting in his gut since he took the subway. High up on the wall by the bathroom door was a small timer and flashing light in the shape of a crescent moon. Two small switches were placed right underneath. Gerard gingerly pressed the top switch and the clicking stopped. The light remained on but stopped flashing, so Gerard could see the other half of the timer, which held a similar light. This one, though, was shaped like a sun and it was dark for the time being. An experimental click of the second switch turned the moon light off too. He turned it back on again.

“Dusk alarm.” he read from the little printed letters across the top, and he was smiling all the way over to the curtain where he pulled back the thick curtains to reveal a dark street outside.

“Cool.”

Half an hour of deliberation later, Gerard felt encouraged enough by his Florida experience so far that he tugged on a new pair of jeans, pocketed his room key and headed for the door. Another incentive, he was reminded as a faint throb began to pick up in his wrists, was that he was pretty keen to go find some food somewhere.

His trip back along the balcony proved his theory about the awnings correct. A small woman trailing behind a huge car of towels was slowly winding each black canopy up into a holder, revealing a tacky looking courtyard surrounded by an iron fence, inside of which was a pool. For the first time in his life, Gerard had the strangest urge to go swimming. He pulled a face and carried on towards the lobby.

As he left Reception his stomach flipped with a brief panic that this was somehow a mistake, maybe everything so far was just some big misunderstanding and when he got out onto the streets he’d be greeted with the same dismal sight as the city he’d just come from. Barricades and separation and no food anywhere to be found. Two google searches and a short walk were all he needed to squash these worries as he stepped into a vast supermarket. Off the bat saw that three aisles had little fang markings above them, similar to those in the hotel.

He was so awed that he didn’t even mind that he forgot to return the smile a lady gave him, or that he almost tripped over some guy’s cape in his rush to the fridges marked BLOOD.

After a trip around the supermarket and a good few tins of blood and some bags too, which he’d never even come across before, he checked out. This time remembered to smile at the cashier lady before grabbing his bags and calling for another taxi. He debated dumping his stuff in the hotel and heading out again to look around, but by the time he got back he decided that he’d definitely had enough good luck for one day.

He called Mikey when he got back to his room after shoving everything into the mini-fridge. He told him how cool it was down here, even though “No, Mikey, I haven’t made any friends yet.”. He definitely _didn’t _tell Mikey how long he’d sat staring at his blank phone screen before finally dialling. But, of course, Mikey being Mikey, he was only able to avoid the topic for so long.__

 

“Have you heard from him?”

Gerard sighed- the edge of the bed digging into his back where he was slumped on the floor. Streetlight skipped over his head and cast shadows over the wall opposite.

“No.”

Mikey fucking snorted. Gerard scowled into the empty room.

“What?” he snapped. Mikey just laughed again and Gerard just knew he’d be pushing those smug little glasses up his nose.

“It’s been less than thirty-six hours. You really calling the whole thing off over the L-word? Are we in highschool?” Mikey said.

“Shut the fuck up.” Gee grumbled, he didn’t have time for this shit. “How’s stuff back home anyway?”

“Don’t change the subject.” Mikey said with a snigger in his voice. Gerard clicked his teeth down and then covered them again with a useless roll of his eyes.

“There’s not anything to talk about. We weren’t even- It’s not the end of the world. We wouldn’t have worked out anyway. I’m six fucking states away and I don’t even know what we had going for us to begin with.” Gerard said darkly. Mikey sighed and Gee imagined him summoning his ‘patient face’.

"Gerard Way you should take up acting, you're _so_ fucking dramatic." 

They argued in loo;s for a little while, Gerard eventually crawling his way onto the bed and sprawling there. Mikey was always good in indulging his need to feel sorry for himself. 

“You could have told me about him earlier you know.” Mikey said gently after a small break in their bickering.

“Huh?” Gerard said, muffled by the pillow he’d been nodding off into.

“Your boyfriend-“

“Not my boyfriend-“

“Your _boyfriend_ : Frank.” Mikey repeated firmly. “He seemed cool I would have liked to get to know him.”

“Get to give him the little brother talk, you mean.” Gerard said.

“Well yeah.” Mikey said. Gerard grimaced and ran a hand over his face, wishing he could just squeeze right back through the phone line. “I wouldn’t have been weird about it. You’ve gotta know that?” Mikey sad. For once he sounded tentative and it made Gerard feel like shit.

“I know.” he said.

There was another silence and eventually Mikey broke it.

“I should probably get to bed it’s late.” he said. Gerard nodded and didn’t bother to verbally confirm. “I miss you already, brother.”

“Miss you so much little dude.” Gerard said, dropping his head onto his knees and taking a deep breath. “It’s fucking weird, Mikes. Out here alone.” he said.

“You’ll be back before you know it.” Mikey said, and his no-nonsense tone let Gerard shake his head but hold his tongue. What was arguing going to do? They both knew he wasn’t coming back any time soon.

“Yeah. Get some sleep. I’ma try and stay up so i’m not awake all day.” he said. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Mikey said, and as Gerard was pulling his phone from his face, his brother’s voice squeaked over the line again.

“What?”

“Frank.” Mikey said. “Don’t give up on Frank.”

“I don’t think that’s really up to me-“

“Just don’t be a stubborn asshole, okay. Keep an open mind.” Mikey said, and before Gerard could start a full length report on why that was totally unfair advice, Mikes had hung up the phone.

***

Mulberry was pretty grim, even at night. There wasn’t a lot to do, but there was a strip down the back of the Best Western with diners and cafes and coffee shops, all open 24 hours. The trash over the kerb and tatty storefronts did nothing but make Gerard feel more at home. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the trees and wide streets and the non-existent skyline all around, and his stomach sank at the thought of finding a job, but he figured that shit could be worse.

Over the next week or so Gerard worked out just what time he needed to get to the diner to watch the crossover between Humans making their way home and sleepy vampires making early coffee runs or grabbing pancakes. If he brought his sketchpad it was almost enough of a distraction from the loneliness that crept up on him when he holed himself up in the hotel.

He called Mikey every day, he washed and ate and set the alarm in the room so he wouldn’t kill himself sleeping in every morning.

After a fortnight it was still shocking to him how he was allowed to go wherever he wanted with whomever he wanted. It wasn’t like he exactly had any friends he would take with him here. But the opportunity was there, and that was more than he’d had back home.

He got out a little more, pretending it was out of raw curiosity rather than the need to distract himself from his thoughts. He took the subway to Tampa and even Orlando one weekend and spent the nights walking around, learning how to smile when people made eye contact with him and didn’t hurriedly drop their gaze. It hadn’t been easy, but he’d like to think he was adjusting.

So when the month mark hit and Mikey called to check up on him, Gerard had genuinely meant it when he said he was doing okay. He picked up some shift work in a book shop a few nights a week and it was pretty much perfect for him. The people were friendly but not intrusive and they gave him at least the illusion of company for a few hours.

It wasn’t like he didn’t think about Frank. He wasn’t fucking delusional. He thought about him a lot. He’d see a book and it would remind him of Frank. Or watch a movie they both liked, or sometimes he’d just take a shower and there’d be flashes of fingers that weren’t his own pressing into his hips under the warm water.

And he really would have to be delusional to think that his heart wasn’t a little splintered, but for some twisted reason it was almost nice to feel something as innocent as heartbreak. It was like Kristen told him, he was gonna move on from this, he had to give it time, and time was one of the only things of which he had plenty. 

Long story short he'd been a little miserable but kind of at peace with it.

Until Thursday.

After Mikey called and made sure Gerard wasn’t about to run into oncoming traffic or anything, he’d passed over to Kristen and they'd eventually gone to bed, leaving Gee to it.

He’d had plans that night. He was gonna go to the supermarket and maybe draw in the park and there was a nice girl at the diner he’d been wanting to make friends with for like three days now so maybe he’d sit one seat closer to her or something tonight if he was feeling adventurous.

So he was about to get dressed, humming something under his breath as he rifled through the mess in his T-shirt drawer, and the next thing he knew he was crumpled on the floor crying his eyes out.

A red T-shirt was balled in his hand. A red T-shirt with fading black sharpie over the front and holes along the hems and the whispers of a scent Gerard recognised better than he knew his own name.

He didn't even know he’d brought it. As the receptionist and the nice cleaning staff were probably aware, Gerard had been recycling about a quarter of his limited wardrobe since he arrived. He hadn’t even noticed it when he unpacked, but now Gerard was soaking it through with tears as he pressed it to his face and tried to breathe.

After what felt like an eternity the flow stemmed and he leant back, gazing down at the soft fabric in his hands. Frank’s scratchy handwriting was just visible through the scrunch of Gerard’s fists and suddenly he felt everything. It was like he’d been muted for the past month and suddenly there it was: maximum strength pain throbbing in his chest and behind his eyes.

“Fuck.” he muttered, swiping his sleeve under his nose and dropping his head back, red shirt still clutched close.

“Fuck it, Frankie.” he whispered, and it wasn’t until he woke up with a crick in his neck and the Sunshine alarm pinging at him that he knew he’d fallen asleep that way, head dropped back against the bed and Frank’s shirt gripped in his hands like a security blanket.

He moped for close to three days, refusing to eat when an ache began to build, refusing housekeeping when they knocked and refusing to answer Mikey’s no doubt worried phone calls. He’d actually barely got out of bed at all until he was startled by a new sound one evening. The ringing pierced through his veil of sleep and left him groggily scrolling through the alarms he recognised in his head before matching none of them to this noise. Eventually he came to a little and realised that it was the hotel phone. He blinked at it sadly for a few seconds before deciding that it might be important.

He groaned as he dropped his arm onto the nightstand and picked it up.

“‘Lo’.” he mumbled.

“Hi, Gerard.” came Polly’s gentle voice from the other end of the line. Polly was the manager’s daughter and also the most frequent receptionist and, through their single-sentence interactions, Gerard had grown fond of her.

“Hi, Polly, I- Uh- is everything okay?” he said warily, finally sitting up and rubbing his eyes with a splayed hand.

“Everything’s just fine, I’m just calling to let you know that a package arrived for you the other day and- um, you haven’t been down so I thought you’d like to know.” she said in her Receptionist voice which always managed to sound a little conspiratorial; like she was giving you just some special attention under her professionalism. Gerard ran his tongue over a fang until it stung and then nodded.

“Okay, that’s- yeah, okay I’ll come pick it up, thank you.” he said and he could feel her smile through the phone as she hung up.

***

“Hi Polly.” he said sheepishly. He knew he looked like a trash can, but he was too curious and disorientated to shower or really change. In all honestly, this probably wasn’t the worst Polly had seen of him, either.

“Hey, here’s your parcel. Doesn’t have a return address.” Polly said with a shrug as she handed it over the counter. Gerard didn’t even look at it as he broke out one of his practiced smiles and took it from her.

“Thanks for holding it.” he said. “I was just- I didn’t- Uh- See you later.”

She nodded at him somewhat sympathetically, and waved her fingers as he headed back towards his room. She probably thought he was a fucking drug addict. Living in a hotel room indefinitely, wearing like three of the same tee shirts and girls’ pants, and painting his nails with sharpie in the lobby didn’t exactly spell out model citizen. He frowned. Whatever.

Gerard didn’t actually glance down properly at the little package until he was halfway to his room. Just outside, he turned it over absently in his hands and had to look twice before it hit him. He froze in the middle of the balcony staring down at his name and the hotel’s address, marked out in familiar, scratchy handwriting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't ask me about this I don't even fucking know  
> ***  
> xo


	12. Can't Think Of A Time When I Needed This More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay  
> 1\. Sorry it's been a million years since an update (I think? Maybe not idk time's weird this time of year. Feels like it anyway.)  
> 2\. Sorry this is short, but I just feel like the next half I'm working on doesn't fit.. but I'll try and get it up here a load sooner than the last one  
> 3\. LISTEN to the song while u read if you haven't already. You'll know when you get to it  
> ***  
> Happy New Year my babies xo

Gerard walked back into his room in a trance, knuckles paler than usual around the package. He dropped it onto his bed and stared at it for another few seconds before lurching around and dropping to his knees by the fridge. He pulled out a plastic bag of blood, unsheathing his fangs and piercing the plastic in a swift movement. The thing was limp and empty in his hands within seconds. Something like warmth filled him as he was sated, ache fading from his neck and wrists. He was slow again as he wiped his mouth and stood up, the plastic floating, forgotten, to the floor.

He blinked at the package and ran a hand through his greasy hair. His phone was lying on the other side of the bed.

“Frank. Don’t give up on Frank.” echoed through his head and he shook it, like that would do anything useful.

His hand was unsteady as he plopped onto the bed and picked up the little rectangle, pausing for another while before scolding himself and getting the fuck on with it already.

It took another little while before he opened it. He made himself feel better about being such a coward by getting up, finally taking that shower, rearranging his wardrobe (determinedly avoiding the red shirt) and even changing into flannel pyjamas because he’d already resigned himself to another day holed up in his room.

Eventually, he ended up on the floor again, back to the bed and staring down at the brown package. It took three deep breaths and a sharp bite into his lower lip until he did it; slid his finger under the seal and tore away the paper packaging. His heart was making little skippy motions in his chest as he pulled out something nestled in bubble wrap.

A voice distinctly like Mikey’s floated through his head, berating him on his theatrics…

_Just fucking open it, moron._

He sighed and in one quick motion he unfolded the bubble wrap and let a plastic square tumble out of his grip onto the floor. When he picked it up he recognised a CD case immediately. He took a moment to mourn the shelf of music he had to leave behind in the city, but quickly shook it as he frowned down at the blank white of the CD.

He flipped it over and blinked as he took in the photo covering the front. Water sprung to his eyes at once and he didn’t even have time to scold himself over it because there, under the plastic casing, was a glossy photo of himself. A photo Frank must have taken- Gerard recognised the navy of his sheets immediately; the stripy pillowcase half balled in his hand. The pearly white of his fangs just visible, denting his bottom lip as he slept. The flash cast the already dark room into a mess of pitch shadows and grainy shapes and brought Gerard’s ghostly skin into bright relief.

Maybe it was the sharp pang of homesickness- the sting of how much he missed those warm nights curled up in a room that smelt so strongly of Frank that it consumed him- which made the photo seem so beautiful. Even Gerard, who had never let a picture of himself hit the light of day, found himself staring down at the bright lines of his jaw and the black of his eyelashes on pale cheeks and he could see the beauty. Not in himself maybe, but in the photo, in the art. In what Frank saw through that lense.

He let out another long, watery sigh and sniffed as he tore his eyes away from the photo long enough to open the case. He almost missed the flutter of white escape as he wiped his eyes, but he caught it as it landed by his shoe.

He was about to discard it, but his eyes snagged on a black squiggle along the top of the jagged paper. He squinted at it, and once he saw what it said, it was a lost cause stopping the tears from pooling, then dripping down his face.

_Forgive an asshole who fell so hard for you he forgot how to speak the only time it really counted Fxo_

Once he’d pulled himself together, he began to search semi-frantically for his laptop. Paper crumpled in his hand and silver disc in the other.

It took way too fucking long to fire the ancient thing up and even longer for the disc drive to cooperate with him. At last, the media player flashed to life and a play button appeared across the screen. Gerard scanned his eyes over the scratchy black sentence on the paper, and the CD cover and the image was blurring in front of him by the time he clicked play.

 _ **Florida Plates**_ was scrolling along the top bar of the player, and a closer look saw the same two words printed in sharpie along the spine of the CD- all in capitals like maybe Frank was actually trying to present it a little neatly. Gerard almost laughed, but the sound died on his lips as the hum of a bass guitar drifted up from his shitty speakers.

The sound was tinny, and even turned up to full volume Gerard knew he was missing the top and bottom of the music, but he could hear. And what he could hear was breaking his fucking heart.

Frank had played him stuff he’d written before. Really cool stuff. Sometimes angry or personal stuff and it was all amazing. Gerard was probably his biggest (if not his only) fan, but he had never heard anything that punched him in the stomach like this.

The music kept playing and Gerard couldn’t stop crying and when the final guitar rang out he played it again, and then again with Frank’s shirt tucked in his lap, the material curled in his fingers.

It was almost a trial to pull himself away from the laptop, but his fingers were itching by the fifth or six time he sat and listened to the words- to Frank’s voice.

Considering the amount of times he’d slammed the ‘replay’ button, it probably shouldn’t have been a huge shock to the system when Frank’s voice crackled through the phone after the second ring.

Gerard clutched his cell to his face, focussing on breathing for a moment as Frank repeated his name a couple of times.

“Yeah, hi.” he said when Frank began to sound more confused than nervous.

“Hi.” Frank repeated, back to nervous again like a flipswitch. Gerard wanted to be angry for some reason. He wanted to release the butterflies in his lungs some way other than crying some more. Frank had left him hanging for a month.

A month.

A month without a word. No text, call, no ‘hope you got there safe’. Nothing but a hole in the bottom of Gerard’s stomach whenever a thought even vaguely Frank-shaped crossed his mind.

 _Are we in highschool?_ that Mikey-like voice said. Gerard scowled to himself and closed his eyes.

“So I got something in the mail today.” he said in a measured voice. He could hear Frank shuffling around on the other end. Gerard imagined the twitchy way he would fidget on the couch when he had too much energy. Or how he had that _thing_ about rearranging the duvet every twenty seconds when he was reading in bed.

“Oh?” Frank said, and Gerard almost sniggered at the forced conversational tone Frank was aiming for.

“Yeah.” he said, feeling a little stronger. “Yeah I did.”

“Uh- what did you-uh- what did you think?” Frank asked quietly, and Gerard, despite himself, was smiling, even though fresh tears were threatening to spill down his face.

“Yeah, you know, it’s whatever I guess-“ he said, and then burst into laughter.

A couple of indignant moments of silence later and Frank was laughing too.

“Asshole.” he said.

“I loved it.” Gerard replied.

“Really?”

“So much. I just listened to it about fifty times.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m serious.” Gerard let the smile fade off his face as they fell silent again, but this time comfortably so. “I miss you.” he said after a while- and it was at about the same time Frank mumbled “I’m sorry.”

They didn’t laugh this time.

“It’s okay.” Gerard said.

“It’s not. I fucked you over and-“

“It’s okay.” Gerard said again, more firmly. He could hear Frank breathing down the phone. Light and quick, like when he was figuring out how to pay a bill or fix the TV.

“It’s not okay.” he replied softly. “And I- uhm- I know the note doesn’t make up for it, I wanted to write other stuff but I couldn’t. I’m sorry, Gee, I’m fucking chickenshit and I shouldn’t have made you wait like that it was pathetic and I-“

“Hey.” Gerard said, loud enough that Frank tailed off. Gee imagined him biting on his thumbnail. “Can we talk about this later?” he said, way more softly.

“Later?“

“Yeah. I missed you.” He said again, and he hoped he was conveying everything he fucking meant by that because for once in his life he couldn’t piece together all the words he needed to express what he was feeling.

Frank let out a long breath and then a kind of shaky laugh.

“I missed you too. Miss you right now. I’m so sorry, Gerard, I always fuck everything up and you deserve-”

“Shh.” Gerard cut him off again. “It doesn’t matter. I loved the song, okay. I-“ he took a deep breath and jumped over the pit that appeared right in his gut because this was the only way he would know for sure that they could move forwards, even though he was pretty sure all he needed to know was said in the five minutes and twenty one seconds on that CD.

“I love you, Frankie. Haven’t stopped for a fucking second.” he said and then bit down hard on his lip in the .7 seconds of silence before the phone line piped up again.

 

“I’m so in love with you, Gerard.” came the soft reply. “And don’t fucking tell me not to apologise. I love you. I fucking do and I’m sorry I left you hanging. I love you so much.” he said in a rush, words tailing off in a kind of hyper laugh that Gerard gauged as half relief and half freak-out.

“Baby.” Gerard said, smile thick in his voice. “Florida’s nice this time of year…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK tell me what u think if u want?  
> ***  
> All the best for 2016 I wish you a safe and happy night & year.  
> Chin up  
> Mxo


	13. Phone Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h e y if it's boring/repetitive- usual drill- try after tomorrow i'll try and fix it up   
> xo

The first phone call of Gerard’s day, at least, started off well. 

“Morning, Frankie.” he mumbled into the plastic pressed against his cheek. He was already hard, laying on his stomach shifting his hips lazily against his mattress. 

“Morning, baby.” came a strained reply. There was a pause and then a low moan, almost like a growl. The noise wasn’t muffled at all down the phone line. Or maybe Frank was making sure Gerard heard it. Probably the latter. 

Gee smiled against his pillow and the cellphone dug into his ear but he didn’t care because he was reaching his hand down, squashed between the bed and his cool body and snaking into his flannel pants. 

“I- uh- I’m getting some deja vu here.” Gerard murmured, hissing as he fisted his hand and let his hips take control. Frank’s breathy giggle down the phone was enough to finish whatever Gerard’s hand hadn’t already done. He was achingly hard and thrusting shamelessly against the hotel bedding. His sheets, tangled somewhere around his ankles, long since discarded during the night. Apparently being undead did nothing for Gerard’s desire to be unrestricted while he slept. Frank used to joke that he’d be useless at sleeping in a coffin. If Gerard was in a good mood he wouldn’t give him silent treatment over it. 

“Fuck,” Frank moaned, and the noise sent a hot shiver down Gerard’s body. He tightened his fist and angled his hips down a little more until the friction was almost too much. He sucked in a lungful of air and his eyes snapped shut with the shudder that worked through him and it was so good. Frank wasn’t finished, though. 

“Waited till I knew you’d be up again. Been- ah- been running hot all day, beautiful. Thinking about you-” Frank said, and Gerard wished he was there. He wanted to see the hot spit on his lips and feel it with his tongue and he wanted that mouth not his own _hand_ on his dick… he wanted everything he couldn’t have. Not here, alone in his hotel room at dusk, but it was all he had. So he groaned again because it was all he could manage. Frank must have taken that as encouragement because words were still oozing from the phone and worming into Gerard’s head and his eyes rolled back for a split second with the heat of it.

“I waited.” Frank said in a low voice, and Gerard snapped out of his mini-daze long enough to force out “What?”. 

“Waited since we last spoke. Didn’t- oh, fuck, baby- Didn’t touch myself once since I heard your voice. Since we- ah” Gerard could hear Frank getting closer. No amount of miles between them or shitty signal could mask the little breaks in his voice. Gerard was crazy about those noises, they pressed on his back like a weight and his hips were moving automatically now. Needing the feeling- the tightness of his fingers not bringing him anywhere near as Frank’s voice was. 

Gerard’s brain darted all over the place, settling on the memory of Frank’s hips, the way his fingers sank into the skin there. Then his tongue, how it felt burning along Gerard’s cold neck. The silver of his lip ring in a dark room as his back arched. The shine to his hot, soft skin when he was sitting in Gerard’s lap, riding him. 

“Not… You didn’t?” Gerard said feebly. He didn’t have the presence of mind to conjure up anything even vaguely more suitable than that, and Frank’s quick breaths didn’t falter in his ear. 

“Not once, Gee. Wanted to so bad. Couldn’t stop thinking about you, it’s been so long. Been so hard all day for you- shit- oh, fuck- I miss you. I miss your _mouth_.” Frank moaned and Gerard thought later that maybe he said some other stuff too, but it all got lost in the mess of desperate noises spilling out alongside them, and finally, Gerard’s name. Long and drawn out and dirty in a way Gee never, ever thought his own name could ever sound until he met Frank. 

Gerard’s dick pulsed in his hand and he shifted down, speeding up the push of his hips into the mattress for a final time and enjoying how the warmth of the friction was barely enough to feel, but it was there. 

“Fuck me, Frankie. Wish I could have seen that. You sound so good- so fucking-“ the phone slipped from his purpling cheek as his mouth dropped open and he was coming hard into his hand. His stomach and thighs tensed almost painfully and his whole body curled like he’d been punched as it throbbed through him again and again for what might have been a year. 

“Woah.” he whispered once he finally rolled onto his back and melted into his other pillow. The sheets at his feet had disappeared at some stage and he wiggled his toes contentedly. 

“Yeah.” Frank agreed, sounding spent but totally pleased. “It’s so good with you. Like… by myself but with you. So much better, I can’t-“

“Yeah.” Gerard said. Because yeah. “I wish you were coming down.” he said after a gentle silence. He could hear rustling and a sigh and then silence and then-

“Me too. More than you fucking know. Employment sucks.” he said bitterly. In that voice like he was maybe about to start a rant that would somehow refer to the government. Gerard found himself smiling. 

“You’re a big boy now.” He giggled, then grimaced as his hands moved in the sticky mess in his pants, now shucked a little way down his thighs where they remained. 

Frank snorted and they were quiet again for a while. 

“Mikey said it’s getting worse.” Gerard said after a while, barely allowing the words to be audible, but by the stiff silence, he knew Frank had heard him. 

“People are leaving.” Frank admitted after a while. “I don’t know how much Mikey told you, but it’s not just Vamps anymore. Everyone wants out. There was another fire in the next V-block over. It’s not just here either. Connecticut, New York, Phily. I don’t fucking know what to do-” Frank was picking up speed withe every word and Gerard wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him. 

“There’s a protest next week.” Frank said when he’d worked himself through a circle or two of flustered sentences. Gerard swore that his cold, dead heart shrivelled right in his chest. The breeze through the hotel room was suddenly too cold, freezing the icy sweat on Gee’s bare chest. 

“Frank you’re not… Baby you’re not thinking of going.” 

Silence. 

“Frank, Mikey told me there was a fucking bomb scare downtown last week if you are actually considering going to a-“ 

“How can you ask me not to?” Frank replied in a low voice. Gerard sat up and reached around for his sheet on the floor, tugging it up over his legs. 

“Is that even a question? We couldn’t go out on the street together on a regular day, Frank. How do you think that fucking place is going to hold up under protest. There’ll be a riot and you know it. You think I’m just gonna let you- just gonna watch you get caught up in a riot? And for what!?” Gerard exclaimed, he knew it was no use getting worked up. He ran a hand through his bed-hair and closed his eyes to just breathe. 

“I wouldn't be able to stand it if something happened to you while I’m down here in fuck-knows where, Frankie. It would be such a waste if you got hurt for something that’s not even your cause-” 

“Not my cause.” Frank finally piped up, and his voice was molten. Gerard scrunched his eyes up and ran a hand over his face. 

“Baby, that’s not what I meant I just-“ 

“Not my _fucking_ cause.” 

“Frankie, I honestly-“ 

“Well fucking excuse me if being a _human being_ excludes me from having an ounce of morality, but I thought that if my fucking conscience didn't allow me the ability to empathise with Vampires, then at least getting fucked in the ass by one might.” Frank spat, and before Gerard could open his mouth again, the line clicked dead. 

Gerard stared at the wall ahead of him as shock slid down his spine like water. He still clutched his cell to his face as if the dial tone would be magically replaced by something, anything else. Needless to say, it continued to drone in Gerard’s ear until he dropped it to the pillow and buried his face in his hands. 

Three weeks they’d managed. 

Three weeks of these late evening and early morning calls and the odd letter and even flowers that one day after Gerard sent Frank a string of homesick texts one night. 

It was just enough for Gerard to get used to what pining really felt like. Pining for someone he knew he could actually _get his hands on_ if there only wasn’t a plane ride between them. 

And now, three weeks of feeling half giddy, half tearful, and Gerard had gone and fucked it up all over again. 

***

The second phone call didn’t even have the good grace to start off positive. As soon as Mikey picked up, Gerard knew all hopes of consolation were dashed. 

“Mom won’t fucking see sense, Gee. I’ve explained four or five times now and she _insists_ on being even more of a solid plank of _stupid_ than usual.” 

“I’m guessing Kristen’s not home.” Gerard said in a monotone Mikey might have been impressed with had he not been having a minor meltdown. 

“She’s helping _her_ parents pack their stuff, since they’re not _delusional, prejudiced asshats.”_ Mikey said vehemently. Gerard pursed his lips and continued to pace from the tiny bathroom to the curtained window and back again. 

He hadn’t even attempted to sit still since he got off the phone with Frank that evening. Wen pacing didn’t cut it any more, he left. Stormed out of the lobby looking as broody as possible, ignoring one of the fanged receptionists’ bemused gaze and marching straight out into the pouring rain. 

“Fuck.” he muttered, and kicked at the kerb on the way out of the parking lot for good measure. He didn’t actually mind the rain, but it felt like the appropriate thing to do. 

Water sparkled orange and white agains the sidewalk, and as he walked he kept his eyes fixed on the dancing colours thrown from streetlights. They shifted with each step he took, and he was in a trance all the way to the diner, paying no mind at all to his drenched hoodie or the look Susan gave him when he pushed his way through the door looking like a swamp creature. 

“Hi, Susan.” he muttered. 

“Hi, sugar.” she replied, like she always did, and shot him an extra-sympathetic look when she brought him his coffee. She often looked at him like that, but today he felt like maybe the unhappiness was physically radiating from his wet hair- like mist. It was a cool idea, at least, he figured glumly. 

Coffee didn’t calm him down. Seven consecutive cigarettes next to a dumpster didn’t calm him down either. Back in the diner he considered getting pancakes for old times sake, but even Susan’s frequent concerned looks were beginning to itch at his skin. 

Outside he tried Frank’s cell again, for the hundredth time, and received no answer, so he left another grovelly message and hung up. 

Eventually he trudged back to the hotel, smoking some more and thinking of Frank whenever he flicked his lighter or ashed onto the ground. 

So, now, he paced to and fro in a damp hoodie and tried not to pass on any more nervous energy to his brother, who seemed to have enough of his own. 

“Mikey they’re just old.” Gerard said. His fingers itched for another cigarette but he was now down to about two and there was no way he was leaving his room again tonight. 

“Kristen’s parents are old! Her dad’s older than ours! I’m not saying they’re fucking perfect, Gee, they still call Vampires fucking ‘bloodsuckers’ but they at least have the good sense to notice when your city is turing into a police state.” 

Gerard’s heart plummeted. He wished he could pretend Mikey was vastly over exaggerating. He sighed and swallowed his panic resolutely. 

“Maybe. Look, I just don’t think our parents understand the situation. You can’t just ask old people to up and move. They’ve been in the city forever.” 

“Then what exactly do you propose I do? Wait until their building gets torched? Or until one of them tries to get groceries in the middle of a fucking riot? It’s going to be a slaughterhouse down there next week. Every sane and able person is getting the fuck out before they start building walls or-” 

“Frank’s going to the protest.” Gerard burst. Then, “Sorry.” because he really hadn’t meant to bring it up. His parents’ safety was in quesition and all he could think about was his boyfriend. 

His boyfriend who he’d royally pissed off right as they were discussing taking part in potentially very violent activities. 

“Oh, Gee.” Mikey said, aggression seeping out of his voice in an instant. 

“No, sorry I didn’t mean to- I was just-“ 

“It’s okay.” his brother replied. Gee breathed out a long sigh. A bright flash of want darted through him. Want for their old suburban house, their bunkbed, he and his brother curled up on Saturday mornings watching TV on their parents ancient Mac. It must have been a fucking 2016 model or some shit it barely even worked anymore but Mikey and Gerard cherished it with their whole hearts… 

“You’re still coming down, right?” he asked in a last ditch attempt not to fucking break down and cry right there. Mikey gave a mumbled noise of affirmation. 

“We should have fucking come with you in the first place.” he said quietly. Gerard’s eyebrows knitted. “People are _dying_ , Gee. Like honest to god murders down our road, there’s gunfire every other night and I don’t think it’s civilian, you know?” 

“Mikes, I’m sure the police wouldn’t be-“ 

“You see anyone else walking around with AK-47s?” he snapped. Gerard clicked his teeth and shook his head. He knew it was rhetorical. 

“Sorry.” Mikey said quietly. “It must be so much harder for you and I’m-“ 

“Don’t do that.” Gerard said at once. 

“What, I-“ 

“Just don’t say that.” Gerard said, because he’d had enough of making people feel fucking unworthy for one day. 

***

The third phone call happened the next night, and it wasn’t one Gerard ever thought he’d have to make. But here he was, the number programmed in his cell from some evening he barely remembered, and he pressed DIAL and lifted the thing to his face. 

When a confused voice picked up the phone Gerard had to take the millionth deep breath of the night and force some normality into his voice as he replied- 

“Yeah, hey Claudia, sorry to call, but I have a favour to ask you-“ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really unhappy with this chapter like... ? ??   
> Like I said I'll go through to correct when I have some energy   
> ***  
> Back to school tomorrow I don't actually think i am going to be able to handle it :)  
> ***  
> Hope you're all doing great.   
> Everyone go read the fics in my bookmarks i love them.   
> ***   
> xo


	14. Moonlit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL HELLO I have NOT even corrected any of this just finished and posted straight away cause i've been trying to get this done for DAYS so... come back tomorrow if it makes no sense  
> ***  
> sorry for the wait my life is a spectacular shitstorm atm  
> ***  
> If ur reading this i love u  
> xo

The airport was more crowded than when Gerard had arrived. He tapped his heel absently against the linoleum floor and peered at his phone. The time was staring back solemnly at him.

He was cutting it pretty fucking fine, but he promised Mikey he’d be there. More importantly… he may or may not have left out a vital piece of information last week when Mikey began booking rooms and making arrangements to come down.

“Now or never.” Gerard muttered to himself as he glanced down for a final time at his phone and was relieved to find a text from his brother.

_@ baggage_

Predictably, it took Mikey at least 40% longer than necessary to make his way out to arrivals, but he made up for it with a rare grin and open arms as he walked towards his brother. Kristen- carrying most of the bags, Gerard noted- was smiling too as she trailed a little behind, watching the brothers grip each other fiercely.

“No Mom?” Gerard asked quietly into Kristin’s shoulder as he leant down to wrap his arms around her. She shook her head with a grimace as they separated.

“We tried.” she said. Gee nodded.

“I’m sure she’ll see sense soon.” He said, looking between the two of them. “All your stuff’s in storage?”

“Some’s at Mom and Dad’s. They insisted.” Mikey said beginning to follow Gerard in the direction of the tunnel.

He surreptitiously checked his phone and fought the grimace off his face when he faced the others. The sooner he could get them down into the Subway, the better.

They made typical post-journey conversation as he led them through the crowds and down the stairs, and Gerard pointedly didn’t think about how his brother was going to take the news he was about to give him..

“This is incredible!” Kristen said, pausing with both suitcases at the bottom of the staircase and annoying at least four businessmen hurrying down behind her. Gerard gave a distracted smile and tugged at her sleeve until they were all safely off to the side.

He ignored the way Mikey was carefully watching him as he explained the subway route and pointed out the signs in case they needed help.

“Gee.” Mikey said slowly, trailing his brother into silence. Gerard looked at him. Kristen blinked at the both of them like she was finally figuring out something was up. “You’re coming with us, right?” he said, eyeing Gerard’s backpack for the first time. Gee could see the wheels turing behind those rectangular glasses he’d missed so much.

“I’m- uh- there’s been a small change of plan.” he said sheepishly, resisting the urge to check the time again.

“Change of plan?” Kristen echoed, sounding as skeptical as Mikey looked.

“I’m really sorry.” Gerard said. “It was super last minute it’s just- I’m actually- uh-“ he looked up at the rivals boards clashing over the tunnel and bit down on his tongue again to stop himself from just making a break for it.

“Don’t freak out, but I gotta get back to the city.”

There was a movie-moment pause as Mikey and Kristen stared at him, before Mikey nearly knocked a little old lady flying when he shouted-

"What”

***

Needless to say, neither of them had been particularly happy as Gee tried again and again to explain to them just _why_ he thought it was a good idea to head back to the city tonight, of all nights. Tonight when the first protest was scheduled, when there were crash barriers lining every road, when the place would be crawling with police and thugs and god knows what else.

Gerard dropped his head against the seat as the windows in the vampire compartment closed mechanically one by one. He clung his backpack to his chest until a flight attendant asked him to put it below his seat.

“Are you fucking _demented_ ” Mikey had said blandly, as Kristen puffed up a good two inches beside him.

“No.” Gerard said, in his best I-am-a-responsible-adult voice. “I gotta talk to Frankie.”

“Gerard, I don’t know if I’ve ever taught you what these little inventions are for.” Mikey said, waving his cell under Gerard’s nose. The twitch of his mouth was the only indication at how upset he was. Gerard reached forwards and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“I have to do this.” he said, praying that every ounce of his sincerity- or just desperation- was shining through his eyes. It was stupid to even question it. Mikey knew him better than he knew himself… “This is something I have to do.” he finished quietly.

His brother opened his mouth, then closed it, then looked to Kristen and the pause was just enough to tell Gerard that he was considering it. And, right now, that was gonna have to do. With the excuse of missing his flight- which really wasn’t all that much of a lie, he had about ten minutes to get to check in, tops- he captured Mikey in another bear hug, kissed his cheek and yelled goodbye to Kristen as he took off along the next tunnel to Departures.

Before the plane took off an endless stream of texts flooded in.

_Stay off the streets. No exceptions._

_Do u even have anywhere to stay fuckin moron?_

_Do NOT do something stupid if shit doesn’t work out w Frnk._

_CALL US if u need something._

_Stay inside do u fucking read me?_

Gerard ran his tongue under a fang and tapped out a quick reply before the engine began to fire up and he turned the thing off altogether.

_shld be w Frnk if all works out. If not his Ex has a new apartmnt with a couch she said I can stay till I can get a plane outta there. Love u both, I’ll call when i’m down. see u in a couple days._

As the plane took off, Gerard closed his eyes and hummed Frank’s song under his breath to keep his mind off the bottomless list of things that could go wrong when he got off this plane.

***

He was already feeling uneasy as he climbed into the taxi, and the feeling didn’t leave him as buildings began to spring up either side of the highway. Calling Mikey was no help, though he dutifully asked if they got to the hotel okay and pretended that everything was fine. After he hung up he noticed little white flecks of snow rushing past the window.

When they reached the turnpike his skin actually prickled. The streets shooting past were empty, but barriers lined every sidewalk. Blinds in the city were closed, Police cars were dotted around but there wasn’t an officer in sight. It was eerie. Gerard wondered how much worse it could possibly have got in the couple of months since he left.

He didn’t find much of an answer as they pulled up into a familiar street. All he noticed as he stepped out onto the street was the chill in the air. He’d forgotten what it was like to really feel the impact of the cold. Wind whipped between the buildings, blowing his hair back and dusting his face with drizzle. 

He pulled his coat around him and frowned, brushing his wrist with the pads of his fingers. The skin felt almost warm in comparison to the frigid air. 

This road was just as empty as the others, but there were sounds coming from somewhere which Gerard chose to ignore for now.

A streetlight blinked overhead as he ducked under it and into the lobby. Something sent a shudder crawling up his spine as he stepped into the empty space. He gave a nervous side-eye to the desk where an old lady with pink hair usually sat, tapping away at her computer. She wasn’t there tonight.

He pressed on to the elevators. Time seemed to warp as he stood in its confines. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor- refusing to acknowledge the sheet of blank glass on the wall, staring blankly at him like he didn’t exist. 

It didn't even come as much of a surprise when there was no answer from Frank's apartment. Gee rang the house phone just to be sure. As the phone rang, muffled through the door, he turned right around and headed for the fucking elevator and its mirror.

On the way back down he counted the alternative places Frank might be. Places other than on some street being eyed up by a man in uniform gripping a hand gun. 

He let out a long breath through his mouth and ran a hand through his hair. 

Claudia didn’t know where he was, but she let him drop his backpack off there. He did a vague but hopeful walk-by of all the bars Frank liked. Most of them were closed and the others were all but empty. Gerard’s bottom lip was raw from the agitated brush and bite of his fangs. He wasn't used to having them sheathed for this long anymore. His gums were almost aching with it, but he figured that maybe he was imagining that part.

He’d walked all through the empty streets. Looked for bookstores, supermarkets, anything, and by the time he reached Frank’s apartment again he closed his eyes tight because he _knew_ Frank wasn’t going to be in any of those places. He knew where Frank would be.

The walk over to the central blocks in town was longer than he remembered. He kept his hands out of his pockets so he could focus on the cold nipping at his fingers and not on the tornado beginning to swirl through his head.

His pace increased as he passed the council building, and he knew it was coming before he turned the corner because he could hear them. He could see the shifting shadows on the street, but this didn’t stop his whole body seizing when he took that final step and was faced with a wall of bodies ahead of him. Facing away from him- up the street. Police officers, as expected, lined the flanks of protesters; eyed them as they waved their signs and weaved between one another and _shouted_ and Gerard felt sick. He flickered his eyes down to the

Way on the other end of this street was the Mayor’s office. Gerard couldn’t see too well, but he was pretty sure that’s where the crowd was aiming their attentions. He tried to calm the squirming in his gut as he stood there, breathing too hard and scanning the shadowy backs in front of him.

There was no fire, no gunshots, no _riot_. If Frank was here, then he was fine.

As the thought crossed his mind there was an explosive crash from the other end of the street, followed by a lull as the tinkle of glass echoed in Gerard’s ears. His head snapped in the direction of the noise- just like everyone else- and before he knew it police officers were running. Those itchy hands of theirs already pulling firearms from their holsters- lifting them with outstretched arms. Gerard blinked and took a faltering step forwards. Before he could think to do much more, he was almost bowled over by the last few lines of the crowd as they peeled off and tore around the corner from which Gerard had just come.

Dazed, and with fingers of panic beginning to grip at his chest, he stood his ground until the stream of people subsided. His eyes crawled back over the hoards of people. He scanned the scene until he spotted a centre of commotion, now flooded predominantly with the ugly green police uniforms. He stood up on his toes, but all he could see were angry faces and shifting bodies as the police drilled a hole in the crowd.

It wasn’t until the faces all turned, and Gerard spotted hands pointing upwards, that he understood what had happened. He followed the gaze of a girl with sharp fangs and a fierce looking mohawk, only to see the third floor windows of the Environmental Office Centre blown out. Red smoke spilled from the cavities and if Gerard squinted he could just make out pin-like figures waving flares. If he listened he was sure he could pick out their shouts above the roar of the crowd.

Police were looking up too now, and Gerard could hear the wail of a siren- then two- then many more- getting closer and closer. The wall of people in front of him didn’t let up. Two or three at a time fought through and disappeared into the silent streets, but most were staying. Most still waved their signs and shouted and part of Gerard wanted to join them and scream and shout and be enclosed- but the other half was absorbed with Frank. He was here to find Frank.

***

Blurs of scowls and razor teeth flashed past Gerard as he fought through the crowd. Images of a red-lit club flashed through his mind, and he quickly pushed it back into his subconscious.

The crowds only got more violent. There were more sirens- constant now- more screams and shouts and Gerard felt like the shoulders were closing in around him.

It didn’t stop him looking though. By the time he found himself on the other end of the street; spat out by the crowd into an empty alleyway; he couldn’t tell how long had passed. All he knew was that his feet were aching and it was freezing cold and there was no Frankie anywhere to be seen.

He ducked down the alleyway and into an empty road. When he got back onto Claudia’s street he called Frank again from a payphone without any luck. After that he just stared up at her building for a while- ignoring the rising roar still audible from the city centre- and wondered if it was time to pack it in. He couldn’t help the sting of tears in his eyes as he headed for the door. He was frustrated and worried and maybe on the dangerous end of anxious but he didn’t care about the tightness in his chest. He just wanted to know that Frank was okay. He didn’t need to talk to him. Didn’t even need to see him if that was how it had to be, he just needed to know that he was safe somewhere. Anywhere other than on that street where Gerard had seen more than one badly concealed blade and steel toed shoe and even the suspicious silver glint of chains under a Policeman’s uniform.

As he trudged towards the stairwell, the thought of being trapped in Claudia’s apartment made his stomach clench. He paused with his hand on the rusty swing-door and glanced back at the reception which- like Frank’s apartment block- was unmanned.

Despite the throbbing in his feet and the tightness of his back, the thought of staying cooped up and making conversation with Claudia made his skin crawl. He looked up the stairwell one last time before rolling his eyes and spinning back around towards the street.

It was maybe another hour, maybe two or three, before Gerard realised that he was back on a familiar street; facing a familiar set of barriers.

Not the barriers he’d grown accustomed to around here. Innocent plastic traffic barriers and ropes marking off a dirt track with tiny glowing lanterns strung along the bushes. He paused for a moment, calculating the yellowy tint of the skyline and wondering if he really had time before promptly deciding that he didn’t care.

The barrier was a little higher than he remembered, and some of the brambles seemed to have advanced their position just enough to perfectly snag his black jeans, but he didn’t care.

The parking lot was dim, spikes of light from the lanterns snuck over the floor, fading to nothing by the wall of the factory. Gerard looked up at the moon and sighed. He wandered over to the kerb he’d usually be confined to during the day and sat down. He was pretty sure his feet would actually need to be amputated after all this walking, they tingled as he kicked them out in front of him.

He watched the faint shadow cast by the moonlight and remembered something Kristen had once said when he was hiding in her room a few weeks after turning. She was telling him a bunch of stories as the sun set, and when it was finally dark she’d opened the curtains. Gerard saw the full moon and it made him cry. She stood him up and made him stand there; right in the moonbeam and reminded him that it was just reflected sunlight…

“Gerard.”

Gee’s eyes snapped up and his breath tore from his lungs as he clambered to his feet in shock. His eyes scanned the parking lot, wondering if his brain could possibly have deceived him so cruelly, but-

“Gerard, what are you doing here?”

He followed the noise, pulling his coat closer, and when his eyes confirmed what his ears were telling him, a rush of something hot filled his stomach.

“Frankie.” He said. It came out kind of broken, from shouting Frank’s name earlier and probably a little from disuse or just sheer shock, because there, lounging on the thick metal prong of the old forklift, was Frank.

A day kind of like this one, flickered in Gerard’s memory. Except this time instead of sun illuminating the perfect line of Frank’s jaw and curl of his lips, there was only the faint glow from lanterns on the other end of the lot.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Gerard piped up blankly as his brain began to function and he took a couple of steps forward so they could talk comfortably. No less than six steps from the fork lift his body began to feel the pull of Frank’s pulse. Already.

Fuck, he’d forgotten what that felt like.

“All this way just to check up on me.” Frank said, raising an eyebrow. His voice was calm, but Gerard knew that expression. He could almost sense the resolute set of his shoulders from where he stood. He took a breath, he knew it was best just to come out with it before he got roped into another argument.

“I’m sorry, Frankie.” He began, shoving his hands into his pockets. “What I said I- I tried to call, I just didn’t-“

“It’s whatever. You’re here now.” Frank said. His expression was still clear. Gerard’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth.

“This was probably a waste of your time though, dude. I didn’t even go to the march.”

Dude. Right.

“Frank-“ Gerard tried, peering at Frank through the dark. “Why didn't you- You know” he gestured vaguely as his brain caught up with the way Frank wasn’t meeting his eyes. Frank shrugged again but made no reply. He made a little twitchy movement with his fingers, which were resting on his leg a little too casually. Gerard pursed his lips and took a calming breath.

“Look, Frankie, I’m really sorry for what I said, but I got on a plane because I wanted to fix-“

“I used to be one of the kids throwing stones.” Frank cut in, eyes fixed on the cement under his feet.

Gerard stared at him, once again feeling the cold of the night sneaking in under his coat. Frank didn’t look up at him. With a frown, and a glance around, Gerard took another few steps forward. When he reached the forklift he sat down on the ground, right in Frank’s line of sight.

“What?” he said gently. Frank bit down on his lip ring a couple of times and continued to avoid Gerard’s gaze.

“Those kids. You talked about them once. Threw stones at you and your brother in the playground because you were different. And the teenagers out on the street tonight throwing fucking bricks at the vampire kids for standing up for themselves… I used to be that kid. The one throwing the shit at people who didn't deserve it.” he said.

There was a long silence as Gerard swallowed this information. Frank just kept up his staring contest with the ground. 

“You’re not that kid anymore, though.” Gerard said eventually. There was the faintest hint of a question in his tone which tugged Frank’s gaze up from his shoes. He held contact for a long moment, and didn’t waver as he shook his head slowly.

“No.” he said. “I’m not.”

“Then you’re doing all you need to do. You don’t have to get tangled up in this shit to prove that, babe.” Gerard said, shifting forwards until he was level with Frank’s knees. “I know who you are, Frankie. Don’t beat yourself up over what you used to be.” he finished carefully. Frank snorted and stared off into the dark. If the cold was bothering him he didn’t show it. White skin shone through the rips in his jeans and the tear in his jacket and there were goosebumps rising wherever the wind licked the bare patches but Frank just kept staring forwards with his hands in his lap.

“You haven’t fucking changed, I see.” Frank muttered, and Gerard chose not ask just what he meant by that. There was a smirk in Frank’s eye which told him that he probably didn’t need to be too angry anyway.

“I’m sorry that I told you this wasn’t your fight. It's as much yours as it is mine, baby.” Gerard said after a deep breath. Frank didn’t acknowledge him; made no move as Gerard shifted himself onto his knees, shuffling forwards slowly. He was like a statue as Gerard slid a hand onto the bare skin of his knee. “I just meant that I didn’t want you getting hurt if it wasn’t totally-“

“Gerard.” Frank said suddenly. Gee blinked at him, mouth still open, fangs brushing his bottom lip. “Shut the fuck up.” Frank finished as he dropped his gaze onto Gerard’s face, the dullness sharpening fast in his eyes. Gerard cocked his head, trying to figure out if that smirk was still hidden somewhere on Frank’s stern looking features.

He opened his mouth to ask- or maybe to continue- or to start one of his practiced essays on equal-opportunity, but Frank didn’t let him get anywhere near that far. With a blink and a tilt of his head, he slid down from the metal fork and knelt in front of Gerard, and as he closed the remaining space Gerard thought he might have caught just the sliver of a smile on those lips before they touched his own.

***

“I’m sorry I overreacted.” Frank said, as they stopped in the middle of his living room. He stepped up close, breathing warm against Gerard’s shoulder where he rested head. Gerard pulled him up gently and kissed him. Slowly.

“Stubborn ass.” he whispered, then pecked Frank’s cheek. “I’m sorry, too. For everything. For being a drama queen- God I’ve missed you.” He said, scrunching the material over Frank’s hips and pressing his fingers into the skin, enjoying the heat of it, but also the fact that it was _Frank_ , and it was so much better than his scratchy hotel pillow in Florida.

Frank giggled, that sweet laugh Gerard missed like a lost fucking limb, and pulled him closer.

“It’s okay, you know I like you being kind of a queen sometimes.” Gerard threw his head back and laughed.

“You’re such a dick.” he said, pressing his lips to Frank’s neck, right over the black ink of his scorpion. Frank muttered something else above him and Gerard laughed again, right against his neck. His teeth nicked Frank’s skin a little and Gerard heard a sharp intake of air. He drew back but Frank’s face was clear. His lip ring was in his mouth and Gee could see his tongue pushing it around. Frank stared at him as he did, eyes dark.

“I fucking knew you liked that.” Gerard said, grinning when Frank rolled his eyes and pointed towards the bedroom door.

***

“So proud, aren’t you, gorgeous.” Gerard whispered into his hair.

“With- about some things.” Frank said, pawing at Gerard’s jacket until he began to shrug it off.

“And so fucking stubborn.” he replied, sighing happily as Frank’s fingers crawled under his tee and brushed under his waistline, pushing him against the wall by the window.

Frank’s jeans were undone before either of them really knew what was happening and Gerard was scrambling around through the layers of material between him and Frank’s dick.

“Says you. Babe it's not only- ah- it wasn't only that, though.” He breathed and Gerard suppressed a smirk, beginning to move his hand at a pace he knew Frank could take. “I was mad.” Frank continued, sweat already dampening his hair and Gerard’s hand was so slick already he was pretty sure he hadn’t even needed to spit in his palm. “I was so- oh- frustrated. I wanted you back but I couldn’t ask. I wanted to come to you but I had this fucking point to prove to myself- to Claudia- to my fucking parents- Oh, baby, you’re so good at that.” Gerard hid a smile and quickened his strokes just a little, twisting his hand irregularly, how he knew it would pull Frank apart nice and quick, because he couldn’t wait too much longer to see this. Not just hear it over the phone in snatches of crackly breaths, but see it- fucking _feel_ it.

“I can’t believe you just mentioned both your parents and your ex while I have my had on your dick.” he grumbled, burying his face in Frank’s shoulder as he sped up, cold fingers frying at the touch of Frank’s hot, wet skin. It was a struggle to stay conscious with the smell of it- amplified by about a thousand and knocking around his head like a bowling ball. He could feel the kick of Frank’s cock when he kissed his neck and it jarred Gerard’s veins.

“No- yeah- sorry, beautiful. I just, I’m sorry I was- I acted like a kid, you know. I hate that I- fuck- I hate how stubborn I am, being with Clauds never helped that she was like a fucking brick wall and I just- oh” Frank broke himself off, hair splayed over his face as his eyes scrunched shut and Gerard took the opportunity to press a hasty kiss to his wet lips.

“I fucking forgive you, already, can we stop talking about Claudia.” Gerard murmured, as he backed against the wall, Frank followed, dropping his weight against Gerard as his thighs began to shake. Gerard could feel it where he was holding Frank’s lower back, could feel the rush of blood and smell it and taste Frank on his tongue like he hadn’t tasted anything in so long and he was gonna lose it just like this, he was pretty sure.

“Sorry.” Frank panted into Gerard’s mouth, whining a little before diving back in and whispering apologies all over Gerard’s lips until he forgot what they were even for.

He felt the tension building in his muscles before Frank did, he was pretty sure. 

“That’s right, baby, all over my hand, come on.” Gerard muttered as he gave a final twist of his palm and Frank’s mouth was wide open as he came long and hard and so, so hot.

“God, that was so fucking good for a hand job, fuck my life.” Frank muttered, flopping into Gerard’s arm, smearing mess between them because neither of them gave a shit. Gerard breathed in the thick air and made sure Frank was watching when he pulled back and sucked his fingers into his mouth.

“Fuck-“ Frank groaned and proceeded to tackle him onto the bed. “Let me blow you.” he said, barely missing a beat as Gerard smiled up at him. “Come on, babe, there’s nothing else I can do for a little while.

“Any more popsicle jokes and you’re a dead man. I’ll fucking bite you, I swear.” Gerard said, holding his stomach as Frank made an exasperated face and began to fight with Gerard’s belt.

“It was one fucking time and you fucking laughed too.” he muttered, tapping Gerard until he lifted his hips. “And it _is_ kinda like a popsicle if you think about it I mean-”

Gee didn’t let him finish that sentence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL I D k  
> ***  
> I hope you're having an okay day at the very, very least xo


	15. Sunspots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably merge this and the last chapter at some point in the next week so check back later if you wanna read em as a whole

“I really am so sorry.” Frank said. His voice jarred the still air and Gerard scrunched his eyes closed. 

“Don’t.” he said. It was quiet, but Frank shut his mouth, which was good, because it was way too early to start thinking. They’d been in a bubble since Frank first kissed him last night. It was cold when they ran home together, and they clung to each others hands, trying to ignore the roar from the streets around them because it was getting closer and closer and all they needed was to get home together and it would all go away. 

And for a while it did. 

So now as the tug of reality began to bite him, all Gerard wanted to do was sink into the warmth of Frank pressed up behind him and never leave. Frank must have had other ideas though, because he was scrabbling around back there and Gerard groaned loudly. 

“Wriggly motherfucker.” he mumbled into his pillow. Frank continued to squirm until he had somehow manoeuvred Gerard into some semblance of a sitting position and wedged his skinny ass between Gerard’s legs, dropping his head onto Gee’s chest with a sigh. Gerard echoed him and then began absently running his fingers through Frank’s hair. Every nerve melting at the familiarity of the touch. 

“I’m gonna miss having my own personal freezer for summer.” Frank mumbled. Gerard nuzzled the side of his face. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss having a smart ass fucking space heater.” he grumbled, venom long lost in a cloud of sleep. He kept his fingers moving just behind Frank’s ear and kept his eyes closed. “I really am, you know.” he said. Frank didn’t respond for so long that Gerard wondered whether he’d heard him, but a few seconds went by and he swivelled around. 

“Me fucking too, asshole.” were the last words from his lips before they were pressed against Gerard’s. And it wasn’t great; all sideways and strained like this, but it was warm and soft and had _Frank_ written on every move, every quick bite to Gee’s bottom lip. Gerard thought he might drown. 

“You’re mine.” Frank murmured when he pulled back, hand hot against Gee’s chest and heavy like he wasn’t planning on moving it. Gee wished he didn’t have to. 

“I’m not asking you to wait for me or some shit.” Frank continued, twisting properly now, their legs tangled uncomfortably and eyes locked. 

“But I want you to remember that you’re fucking _mine_ , and as soon as I can get out of here and- fuck- i don’t know, get my family out of here we’re gonna be- I want to come down with you.” 

Gerard closed his eyes and nodded. Like he would be able to move on if he tried. Mikey’s reminder that ‘time changes everything’ bounced around the back of his mind, but he squashed it. He moved his arms around Frank’s waist and felt the muscles shift when they pulled closer. ‘This is it’ his brain whispered at him. He ignored that too. 

“Kiss me again.” 

Frank did. Then he sat up and shuffled right up to Gerard’s face. 

“Hey.” Gerard blinked up at him, features blurring a little. “You’re doing so good.” he whispered, closing the final space and pressing a kiss to Gerard’s closed mouth. 

“I just want to-” Gee brought his hand up to the back of Frank’s neck and just held him there; foreheads rested together, breathing slow. “I’ve never met someone like you.” 

“Good.” Frank said, a smile edging his voice, and Gerard couldn’t help but smile back. “You know… you’re not such a conformist yourself.” Now Gerard grinned properly. 

“Is that right?” 

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Frank murmured, curling himself up in Gerard’s lap and resting his hand right over Gerard’s heart. 

***

Frank padded to the door, and Gerard settled in bed with vague thoughts of coffee at the corners of his mind- and a half formed mental note to call Mikey as soon as he got dressed when- 

“Gerard.” Frank’s voice was brittle, and sounded closer than it should if he was in the kitchen. 

“Yeah?” Gerard called back. When there was no reply Gee opened his eyes and sat up properly. “Frank, what’s the matter?” 

“Baby the sky.” came Frank’s voice through the door. “I can’t see the sky.” 

"What?" 

Gerard detached himself from the sheets and edged up to the side of the window. Frank shook his head, staring upwards and wordlessly, he pulled Gerard into the window. He was safe, there was no light at all breaking through the clouds of smoke billowing from left right and centre. Gerard felt for Frank's hand and clutched it as they both stood paralysed in the hall. 

"We gotta go." Frank said. "Airport, right now. You're going home- I mean, uh- back to Florida." Frank ran a hand over his eyes and Gerard realised that Florida _was_ home now. 

"Frankie, what about you?" Gerard's voice was hollow. Frank ignored him, prying his hand free and striding back into the bedroom. He brushed Gerard's shoulder on the way through the door and from there shock morphed into panic, wave after wave. Gerard followed after him and supported himself on the doorframe as Frank started pulling clothes together into a backpack. 

"Frank." he repeated. 

"I've gotta find my family." he refused to meet Gerard's gaze as he kicked his clothes towards him. "Get dressed, I'll get you out of here and then-" 

And then? Gerard's throat tightened and he swallowed everything he wanted to say. There was no point begging or crying or being pathetic. This was real now. More so than ever. Frank was right, he had to just put his clothes on and go. 

Their trip to the turnpike was smoke-choked and rushed. Gerard barely had his sneakers on as they dashed through backstreets. The telltale blue stain of police lights dancing against the walls was the only warning they had to make a sharp turn. Each time they did Frank muttered 

“There’s another way.” 

and they were off again. Gerard had never learnt these streets as well as Frank seemed to in his whole time living here. 

“This isn’t fair.” Gerard called back once. Frank didn’t hear him. Not that it made a difference. 

“What’s at the turnpike anyway?” Gerard panted, pulling to a stop at the corner of a deserted street. The cloud of smoke above them was as thick as ever, and they still had blocks of Vamp town before they reached the parkway. There was a spiky kind of fog filling Gerard’s lungs, and obscuring his view enough that it took a full ten seconds to realise where they were. 

“Mom’s car.” Frank replied breathlessly as it dawned on Gerard with horrible clarity what he was looking at. The broken cinderblocks and trailing charcoal remains of the apartments either side were dusted with a glimmering layer of broken glass. The end of the street was blocked completely and fire was still raging on the top few floors of the left wall. A moment or two of silence and Frank followed Gerard’s gaze down the street. 

“Oh.” 

The scattered remains of the top four floors of Gerard’s building spread out in front of them. A jagged crater replaced the former homes of everyone on floors seven and eight. Appartments either side were obliterated too, but all Gee could see was the patch of smoky sky which once held … everything. 

“Gee, I’m so sorry-“ Gerard held a hand up. He'd paid his last instalment of rent last month. His stuff was due to be trashed anyway since he had nowhere to keep it. Everything important was at Mikey's. It's just an apartment. It shouldn't matter.

“We have to keep going.” 

“Are you okay?” 

Gerard allowed another moment to breathe, and for just a fraction of a second he through he caught sight of the charred corner of his easel in the rubble. 

“Let’s just go.” 

They were both short of breath again when the city started to thin out. Frank was almost as pale as Gerard. He coughed out a slightly strained laugh as Gerard mentioned this to him. Suburb sprung from the flattened ground, squat, single story houses with their lights off and curtains drawn. Every window was closed against the billowing smoke which stretched even this far. They hadn't seen another soul the whole time. Frank's clammy hand slipped from Gerard's again as they approached a gravelly storage lot. Brick walls previously running the perimeter were old and crumbling. Some garages had been prized open, corrugated doors disregarded in the parking lot. Gerard saw a mangled bicycle and a kitchen table peeking sadly around the corner. 

"Is it here?" he asked, hesitant. Frank unearthed a key from his pocket and tugged at the metal garage door. 

"Let's see." 

They walked around the corner, past the bike. It was a kid's bike, the remnants of a Hulk design scraped up and faded under black paint. Frank counted under his breath as they passed garage after garage. Roughly half were smashed up. Gerard held his breath as Frank's counting slowed to a stop and they crunched over the broken asphalt to a, miraculously, closed and locked door. 

“Thank fuck.” Frank muttered when it creaked opened to reveal a battered pick-up. 

“You didn't think it would be there?” 

“Well…” Frank heaved a sigh and began fiddling around with the door of the truck and looking triumphant when it, too, sprung open. “With my mother, you can never tell. Get in.” 

The brief smile on Gerard’s lips was long dead by the time they rolled out onto the highway. The fuel gauge was ticking over half and that would do the job just fine. It clunked in weird places and the seats were high up but they were both just happy to be speeding away from the city. Gerard couldn't bare to touch the thought that Frank was going to be driving headlong back into this mess as soon as the plane departed. 

“This is so bizarre.” 

“I know. Kinda feels like the world’s ending, doesn’t it.” Frank kept his eyes on the road.

Gerard nodded. Tears pooled in his eyes- heavy and cold. He looked out of the window as they began to roll down his cheeks. Neither of them said another word as the city fell into a smoky line behind them. As the skyline flattened in the rear-view mirror, Gerard could almost feel the fragments of his life tearing away like the splintered remains of his apartment- scattered on the asphalt like they were nothing. Smoke in the sky faded to the glum blueish light of dusk above storm clouds. The airport was almost in view once Gerard forced himself to vocalise his thoughts. 

“I don’t see how this is going to work out.” he whispered. 

“What?” 

“We’re not going to make it.” 

Silence. 

“You have to stay with your family, and I have to be on the coast- or maybe even out of the country-“ His voice broke again and Franks fingers tightened on the steering wheel. 

“I don’t know why I thought flying out here would fix everything. I just had it in my head that if we were okay, everything else would sort of…” he made a fluttery gesture. “sort itself out. But it hasn’t. It’s worse. There’s nothing we can do about that.” 

The thump of Frank’s heartbeat was erratic, but his eyes remained straight ahead. Knuckles white. 

“If you don’t want to wait it out, that’s fine.” came the reply, what must have been at least a minute later. 

“Of course I do. It just doesn’t seem…” 

“What? Seem what? Practical? Convenient? Gerard. What part of this fucking relationship has ever been convenient? For either of us?” 

Gerard shrugged. “I just don’t see how…” 

“The world sucks, sure, but the world’s always sucked. And it always will suck, forever. We need to try this. I’m going to do what I can to come live with you. That’s a promise. I need to sort some things out first, and I don’t know how long that’s going to take, but i’m going to get it done. If you don’t think you can last it out until we can make that work then fine, but I know you can.” he tapped a flat palm to the steering wheel on each word. "And if you're worried about me then you don't have to fucking bother, okay. I fucked up once but I chose you. I choose you from now on, understand?" 

Gerard stared at him. 

“Gerard for fuck’s sake, tell me you can do this right now or you will never see me again, I swear.” 

“I can. Idiot. Of course I can.” 

Frank breathed out so hard Gerard was pretty sure the air pressure in the car changed. 

“Good.” 

“This is going to be hard.” 

“I know.” 

“Your family might move farther away.” 

“I know. And you’ll come and visit anyway with that nice big college fund you haven’t used until we can figure it out.” For a moment the mask cracked, and Frank flashed Gerard a grin. A grin like he was up to something. A grin like nothing was wrong. 

“And you’ll sit nicely while I paint you and not squirm around all the time.” 

“Yeah, and you’ll stop bitching about everything literally 24/7.” 

Gerard shot him a glance, but turned to the window smiling a little. 

***

The wait for a plane was surprisingly short and Gerard didn’t bother to hide his bitterness. The small airport was swarming and Gerard could feel Frank almost vibrating beside him. They checked him in and had about 20 minutes before he needed to go through. 

“They’re running extra flights.” The guy behind the desk muttered when Frank and Gerard exchanged a glance. Together they trailed to a row of stiff metal seats where they huddled together between two elderly women to wait. 

The news was playing loudly on overhead screens, groups of darkly-clad people gathered, pale faces reflecting the blues and greens of the news station. Every face held the same tight-lipped expression. Frank tugged Gerard’s arm until he looked away from them. 

Hands clasped, they didn’t say much until a bell rang out overhead signalling that time was up. 

“I guess I don’t need to ask you to call me.” Frank said, smiling again. Gerard knew it was forced even though it looked sincere. 

“I can assure you you’ll be begging me to stop.” Gerard ducked forward and kissed Frank before he could make any lewd remarks about the choice of phrasing. Another bell sounded and reluctantly they pulled apart. There was something dancing in Frank’s eyes underneath the glaze of tears he was blinking away. 

“Safe flight. Stay out of the sun.” Frank said. Gerard didn’t even trust himself to open his mouth, he just pulled frank close again and let the beat of his heart envelop him for the last time in … a long while at the least. 

“I’ll miss you.” He managed. “And I love you. Freak.” Frank choked out a noise stuck between laughter and sheer pain. Gerard gave him a watery smile as they broke apart. 

“Go. You’ll be late. I love you too.” 

“Be careful going back there.” Gerard said, picking up his bag. Frank rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t think it’s my type who are really in danger over-“ Gerard raised an eyebrow. “But yes.” Frank finished. “I will be careful.” 

“Thank you. So will I.” He leant in and kissed Frank’s lips one more time, drinking in his warmth like he could bottle it. He really wished he could bottle it. 

Somehow he managed to tear himself away and negotiate his way through the crowd. 

“Hey,” Frank called, and Gerard spun. His stupid stomach swooped as if he might have formulated the answer to all their problems in the fifteen seconds since they’d said goodbye. 

“Steal a Florida plate for me.” He yelled over several people’s heads, following up with a wicked grin and a salute. 

Gerard snorted despite himself and blew a kiss Frank’s way, before turning towards security and forcing his feet to place themselves one after the other, over and over, until he was through the metal doors. He didn’t turn around before he’d passed through the scanner and picked up his bag from the belt. When he did, Frank was gone. 

_Think of me when u eat a popsicle down there xo_

He tapped out a reply before the plane’s engines began to roar, and if he hadn’t been sure before, he was sure now. He wasn’t 100% certain what he was sure about exactly, but the liquid feeling in his stomach was gone. Instead there was a steady confidence in something he couldn’t quite identify. The jittery presence lurking at the corner of every thought for as long as he’d been turned- it changed in that moment. Sitting in the lumpy aircraft seat, surrounded by hooded figures and about to fly far, far away from home, Gerard experienced a sense of calm which he’d forgotten. The constant oily sickness had become so familiar to him he’d hardly noticed its squirming, but now he could tell it was gone. In its place was something solid and warm and distinctly human. There was no doubt in his mind that it was Frank, and from here on out, Gerard knew that- no matter where he was, or where they were- it was home. 

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! In my typical style we've come to quite a sudden end! I would really love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing if you've followed it from the beginning. I apologise if this ending feels rushed, it was always the planned conclusion I just wasn't sure about how to execute it until today. I wasn't sure, also, whether or not to add certain bits or make a more rounded conclusion. but, like life, stories end abruptly sometimes. 
> 
> My motivation has been flagging so much since exams, i'm honestly just glad to get it done! Since this might well be my last post on here (or last big one at least - i'm off to Uni and my life's about to change up quite a bit) I thought i'd mention that while I write like a bad crime novelist and overuse phrases and over-embellish dialogue and repeat myself and am lousy at plot and god knows what else; I want to THANK YOU for reading and sticking it out. It's been a while since my hand was in at this stuff, but your comments and kudos were always hugely appreciated. That goes for all my works. A year or so on here has brought me a lot of busy evenings & a ton of pure happiness reading your kind comments. 
> 
> EDIT: found an old notebook with Some Material and with the long summer of nothingness a little motivation sometimes appears. Not promising anything but might actually be back... at some point... maybe.
> 
> I hope you're all doing well, and if you're not, you will. 
> 
> So much love,  
> Moon xo

**Author's Note:**

> C&C always very welcome xo


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